To think 'celebrating your curves' is becoming a worrying trend?

[Freesunglasses]

So many of my overweight 'friends' on facebook are joining in the whole "I'm embracing my curves and loving this body, every inch"
The thing is they are Obese, not use a little overyweight but really fat. The more people see and read things like this the more it will become normalised.

Worrying times ahead I think. We're going to be a very fat country in the not too distant future.
I know it's hard to lose weight. I know lockdown has made lots put weight, I'm a little overweight myself but I will never say I'm happy with it because I'm not! I like being thin, I want to be thin.

For the love of God stop normalising and celebrating obesity.

And men

People don’t obsess about the size of men.

Exactly!! @PurpleDaisies

'People don’t obsess about the size of men'

Well, again we aren't here on this thread 'obsessing' about men or women. Many are pointing out obesity isn't something to normalise and celebrate that is all.

Many are pointing out obesity isn't something to normalise and celebrate that is all.

But we never really see men being the target of those complaining about obesity being normalised, despite the fact that obesity rates are similar for men and women.

People don’t obsess about the size of men.
On the whole I agree. Discussions of male bodies does exist though, it just tends to be focused on a very narrow idea of the muscular gym guy.

However I've not seen any overweight or obese men writing posts on social media about how much they love their curves, nor have I seen many men arguing that people are wrong to discuss whether normalising being very overweight or obese is a good thing.

If men did write posts using 'love my curves' as a euphemism, my feelings would be the same: people who are genuinely happy with themselves or content with the things they like/dislike, tend not to be posting on social media about how great they think their bodies are, nor would they get defensive if people challenged the content of their post.

@StubbleMeansTrouble

I don't agree. Threads about fat people collectively , and fat people feeling OK about themselves collectively , and how fat people will collectively be the downfall of civilised society happen day after day after day. Threads about the collective evil of smokers and drinkers are rare, unless they are affecting a specific individual in a specific situation.

Are you joking? ANY thread about smoking or drinking and it's a pile on about how anyone who does either will die immediately and horribly whilst at the same time dismantling the NHS and the fabric of society single-handedly.

Worrying times ahead I think. We're going to be a very fat country in the not too distant future.

I think that ship's already sailed.

osbertthesyrianhamster
You're right.
Threads about alcohol always attract some people who claim that anyone who has a midweek glass of wine has a serious alcohol problem, as well as the high functioning in denial middle class drinkers who seem to think holding down a professional job means it's fine to drink a bottle or two of wine most evenings because nice people like us couldn't have a drink problem, alcoholics drink spirits on a park bench

@LolaSmiles

People don’t obsess about the size of men. On the whole I agree. Discussions of male bodies does exist though, it just tends to be focused on a very narrow idea of the muscular gym guy.

However I've not seen any overweight or obese men writing posts on social media about how much they love their curves, nor have I seen many men arguing that people are wrong to discuss whether normalising being very overweight or obese is a good thing.

If men did write posts using 'love my curves' as a euphemism, my feelings would be the same: people who are genuinely happy with themselves or content with the things they like/dislike, tend not to be posting on social media about how great they think their bodies are, nor would they get defensive if people challenged the content of their post.

There's a bit of chicken and egg going on here, though. As men aren't judged and valued on their looks anywhere near as much as women are to begin with, they won't be as inclined to celebrate their imperfections in the same way, because there isn't the same force on them to fight against.

They seem to post pictures of their very large, meaty and oily dinners more often than women do, on my feed at least. Never yet seen anyone get upset about how unhealthy the meals are.

DrSbaitso
It is a chicken and egg situation, you're right.

I don't think the love your curves is about celebrating imperfections though. It seems to range from "I like my curvy shaped body that is within a healthy range" through to "I am obese and if anyone thinks that this isn't curvy or suggests obesity is something not to celebrate then you're horrible people who think fat people are vile, and you're exactly the problem because you think overweight people should sit in a corner and feel ashamed".

Most of me thinks it would be better if people spent more time being actually content with themselves (by content I mean gain peace with us all having things we like and dislike about ourselves), making steps to change the things we want to change, and less time posting empty crap on social media about telling the world how much we love our bodies.

I've never looked at someone fishing for compliments on social media and thought "wow they're confident".

@GraduallyWatermelon

Many are pointing out obesity isn't something to normalise and celebrate that is all.

But we never really see men being the target of those complaining about obesity being normalised, despite the fact that obesity rates are similar for men and women.

I've yet to see a 'I'm celebrating my curves' post by a man.

I will start celebrating my terribly weak teeth and bad back.

Why should I spend money to fix these problems, I will just post some bleeding gums with gemstones stuck around for decoration, on Instagram.

No more shame when my crown falls out- society should just accept me as I am.

@DasPepe

I will start celebrating my terribly weak teeth and bad back.

Why should I spend money to fix these problems, I will just post some bleeding gums with gemstones stuck around for decoration, on Instagram.

No more shame when my crown falls out- society should just accept me as I am.

What nonsense is this? Of course society should accept you for who you are. I wear glasses and yes, I'd argue that society should bloody well accept that. I could have plastic corneas grafted onto my eyeballs to replace my defective ones of course, but I choose not to and that should be fine in anyone's book.

I also wear glasses but glasses are there to correct vision.

If somebody’s vision was deteriorating because of not wearing glasses or wearing incorrect prescription or reading with faint light etc would you think they are “celebrating their astigmatism” or just causing themselves harm by not looking after their health?

I think the point here was that “celebration” is different from acceptance or understanding.
Celebrating here actually means “I’m going to ignore my health and actually willingly continue to do my body harm”
Isn’t loving yourself also looking after yourself?

You said, 'No more shame when my crown falls out- society should just accept me as I am' as if it were a ridiculous suggestion.

Suggesting that there should be shame attached when people are in poor health, that is a ridiculous suggestion.

Shame is a complex emotion and it’s easy to dismiss if you’re not in the position of avoiding to smile.

When my crown does fallout, I would certainly not walk around smiling but try and cover it. Why? It’s unsightly and we have a natural, innate reaction to indications of poor health.
I might feel shame that people will think I have caused these problems myself through poor hygiene or I might not, accepting that it is beyond my control, same as my poor eyesight.

But what I will do is make an emergency appointment at the dentist to fix it and prevent it getting worse.
I won’t celebrate this.

So I have specifically chosen an example to contrast where it is less acceptable by society at large to show or accept the indicators of poor health - such as gum disease or missing teeth. In these situations we wouldn’t be celebrating them we would fix them or prevent them getting worse.

When my crown does fallout, I would certainly not walk around smiling but try and cover it. Why? It’s unsightly and we have a natural, innate reaction to indications of poor health.
I might feel shame that people will think I have caused these problems myself through poor hygiene or I might not, accepting that it is beyond my control, same as my poor eyesight.

That's unfortunate, but to do with your own hangups. It does not mean society is judging you, and I won't endorse the idea that they should be judging you, either. My mother won't wear glasses in public because they embarrass her. That doesn't mean that society would shame her for wearing them, and nor should they.

In short, you feeling embarrassed about your teeth doesn't mean overweight people should feel embarrassed to be overweight. It also does not mean people should be ashamed of being in poor health.

And those celebrating are not celebrating being overweight, they're celebrating their bodies and particularly trying to take ownership of the bits they've previously felt embarrassed by. If you were to take a picture of yourself with a missing crown and put it online in a show of body positivity, I would support you. Love yourself, love your body.

@DasPepe

I will start celebrating my terribly weak teeth and bad back.

Why should I spend money to fix these problems, I will just post some bleeding gums with gemstones stuck around for decoration, on Instagram.

No more shame when my crown falls out- society should just accept me as I am.

...what should society do if you have no teeth? Stop existing? Also paying to get some teeth pulled is a hell of a lot easier than losing weight

@DasPepe Your post makes no sense.
Are you on the right thread or suggesting people with bad teeth should hide away with overweight people? That's me stuck behind closed doors they're clean but wonky.
Thankfully I couldn't give a brown one on how society views me.
I wish everyone felt the same, bring on the confidence. 💪🤪

“ And those celebrating are not celebrating being overweight, they're celebrating their bodies and particularly trying to take ownership of the bits they've previously felt embarrassed by. If you were to take a picture of yourself with a missing crown and put it online in a show of body positivity, I would support you. Love yourself, love your body.”

Celebrate is not the same as love though is it?

My interpretation of OP is that by using language like “celebrate” ( to honor or praise/ to acknowledge a happy event) we are causing lots of people to actively avoid being healthy and dupe themselves into being happy, because we use divertive language.

I love my body. I think it’s great. It’s the only one I know, it’s let me do lots of stuff, it’s amazed me even though I’ve not always been looking after it very well. When I see photos of models I think they look nice but I genuinely feel ownership of my own body and I wouldn’t change it for any other. But - could I be healthier? Yes. Am I going to beat myself about not exercising enough? No - I will feel some healthy guilt, because I know I should and probably could but the reasons I’m not are genuine. I try and drink water more, coffee less. But if I got into the mindset of celebrating not being healthy, I might start to have more coffee, with more sugar and less water.

No one is saying people should hide away. No one is saying people should be shamed or not love themselves.
But if we start using misleading labels to make people feel better - in the wrong way, then there is a strong chance they will reframe the problem to their detriment.
I am absolutely clear that we are debating pure semantics here, but the point is that language affects actions.

Who are all these outrageous people daring to "celebrate" rather than "love" their own bodies?!

And why the fuck do you all care so much?

Haven't you got something better to worry about????

No one has anything to worry about except for worrying about the nasty fat peeps polluting society. Mumsnet says so, so it must be true!

'And why the fuck do you all care so much?'

Because we see it all the time. On mn 'I went to the drs with my bad back/bad knees/breathlessness and the cf said I needed to lose weight how very dare he it's discrimination! ' or, on sm 'size 20 but 100% gawjus'.

No one needs to become a hermit with poor self esteem but there is so much enabling and delusion going on.

Get new friends OP? If it bothers you that much? Otherwise, why do you give a fig? You’re not fat, their being overweight doesn’t have to affect you and nor does seeing overweight people in the media. Keep yourself healthy.
I would argue that most of the real harm is being done by unrealistic standards of ‘beauty’ that we we are shown all the time in the media as something attainable.

‘ I've yet to see a 'I'm celebrating my curves' post by a man.’

I’ve yet to see one by any women I know.