Do you charge partners “ rent “

[Troublewaters2021]

Quick question 😂
In this scenario - both work, one owns a house and is selling and buying a new house in their name only.
One who owns house has 2 kids from previous relationship and then there is 1 child from the relationship currently.
Would you charge “ rent “ ?

Of course he should contribute! I can’t believe he isn’t already to be honest.

What is he buying a house for, is he going to move into it and you live separately?

@BigFatLiar

For those who think its bad OP is leaving the house to the children, if it was left to him then he could easily leave it only to the shared child meaning OP's older children would be disinherited.

If she thinks that's how he'd behave why on earth would she be with him.

Assuming they're not married then it looks like the way to go is: set out in the will that the two elder children get 50/50 of the value of her estate prior to the new relationship (allow for inflation etc) and the three children get 1/3rd each of the estate after the new relationship. DP gets her best wishes for a long future. In the event of his death DC3 gets all his inconsiderable assets.

This sort of attitude is why children from first relationships often get treated so badly. I know 3 people personally who had parents who remarried, died first, and their spouses had their own children inherit. It is a very common scenario Romance, trust etc are all wonderful but really it is beyond irresponsible. If you expect your children to inherit, you need to legally make sure that it will happen.There have been a couple of similar threads over the last few days. It is astounding how some are prepared to gamble their own and their children’s future on a romantic relationship. Why would anyone expect you to do that ? I actually think a decent partner would absolutely understand that and anyone pushing for anything else should be a huge red flag. I expect the OP wants to ensure her children inherit her hard earned money in equal shares. A lifetime interest in a property for a partner is understandable but this if you trust each other enough nonsense is absolutely irresponsible and quite frankly silly in the extreme.

This sort of attitude is why children from first relationships often get treated so badly. I know 3 people personally who had parents who remarried, died first, and their spouses had their own children inherit. It is a very common scenario
Romance, trust etc are all wonderful but really it is beyond irresponsible. If you expect your children to inherit, you need to legally make sure that it will happen.There have been a couple of similar threads over the last few days. It is astounding how some are prepared to gamble their own and their children’s future on a romantic relationship. Why would anyone expect you to do that ? I actually think a decent partner would absolutely understand that and anyone pushing for anything else should be a huge red flag.
I expect the OP wants to ensure her children inherit her hard earned money in equal shares. A lifetime interest in a property for a partner is understandable but this if you trust each other enough nonsense is absolutely irresponsible and quite frankly silly in the extreme.

Which is why in this situation I'd go for the will. That way she can ensure her assets go to her children and his assets go to his child (children if he has others).

However as I've said before people with children from a first marriage shouldn't look at new relationships as it can lead to so many issues. AS you say ' a huge red flag' one saying to him I don't trust you

@Quartz2208

Thanks for your concern, no we are not married and I'm not on the deeds. We have been together nearly 21 years (since we were 18).
No issues with our relationship and both quite easy going and I don't think even if we were to split that he would be difficult.

I also have my own savings and would be absolutely fine to live and support myself and children. We have plans to get married but kids abs holidays have always been a higher priority. I have changed my name by deed poll and we refer to each other as husband and wife anyway!

Yes he should pay and don't feel weird about it everyone has their own set up. I would say £100 bill a week should cover it and upkeep/maintenance of house. Even though you both have a child together You can always wait and see how your relationship works out before you jump into getting a shared mortgages. It's good that you have this protection for yourself and your other children

If they're both working then yes there needs to be financial contribution but if not working and being a stay at home parent, then no, no contribution is needed.

Co habiting couples are entitled to a lump sum (Scotland) if they were to split up.

[quote iusedtohavechickens]@Quartz2208

Thanks for your concern, no we are not married and I'm not on the deeds. We have been together nearly 21 years (since we were 18).
No issues with our relationship and both quite easy going and I don't think even if we were to split that he would be difficult.

I also have my own savings and would be absolutely fine to live and support myself and children. We have plans to get married but kids abs holidays have always been a higher priority. I have changed my name by deed poll and we refer to each other as husband and wife anyway! [/quote]
If you already consider yourself then I would seriously consider getting married - not for splitting purposes but for the ease if one of you dies. WIthout being married you could find it very difficult. I had similar priorities so fitted in a very simple straightforward wedding to get the legal stuff sorted. Its not even a given you would be his next of kin or able to make decisions for each other in hospital etc

My hubby owns out home - I don’t pay rent but I do contribute to the overall cost of living.

You could say a proportion of that could be ‘rent’ I guess? But we don’t see it as that.

Monthly bills total X and I pay a little bit 🤣

I agree @BigFatLiar
Blended families rarely benefit the first children. I wouldn’t put mine through that.

@Quartz2208

We have adopted one of our children and have a will and I am the beneficiary of his pension and death in service benefit. We do plan on getting married but need to plan it. Waiting for our little one to be a bit older so she can be bridesmaid. 🤓

About the whole kid and inheritance thing the reason I do not want to do the whole

Split it up from post relationship money and pre is because they still seems unfair.
My partner works and has worked all his adult life - if he wants to set up a trust fund for our child or contritibute it my savings for her than that is fine but he won’t be receiving anything from me if I die if we split.
My children are always first no matter what I have a very detailed agreement which covers if I did whilst they are still children of as adults.
If I was to put him on the house and got married etc and then we got divorced, I would be left with 3 kids and my house split when he hasn’t paid anything towards buying the house.

@DotsandCo..... agree completely. Spot on. If he is your partner & father of your youngest child it should all be 50/50 living expenses/bills/childcare can't understand any other arrangement tbh.

@Troublewaters2021

Genuinely curious about this, so no trying to get at anyone, can I ask about this...
I have a very detailed agreement which covers if I did whilst they are still children
He's not your husband so not even the first two's stepfather so technically no legal relationship at all, If you got run over by the proverbial bus would he get care of the third child as her father and the others go to a relative (or there father if he's still around)?

He shouldn’t pay ‘rent’ towards the house.

However food bills, utility bills, holidays etc should all be shared.

You pay for your dc stuff.

@Standrewsschool

He shouldn’t pay ‘rent’ towards the house.

However food bills, utility bills, holidays etc should all be shared.

You pay for your dc stuff.

I'd go with this largely. If you don't want him contributing to the house fair enough but share out the bills. I wouldn't single out the different children. While you're living as a family they should all be just family and all lumped together. If you don't need maintenance from DC1&2s father just stick it in an account for them.

I wouldnt ask for any rent as there's a danger he could then try and claim proprietary estoppel if we split. I would expect a contribution towards the bills conscious that 50/50 wouldnt be fair if he earns less and if he would be effectively then paying for children that aren't his as their dad should contribute for them however I would expect fair contribution towards our child together

We have spoken and he will give 500.00 a month towards loving costs his bring him pay is 2900 after tax it seems fair in comparison to my wage.

£500 for a months worth of loving is a bargain, I don't know how much loving he'd get for that outside of home

As long as you're happy, don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Fucking hell, he's not even paying for half the childcare for his kid!

I wouldn't move him in at all. But since you want to, legal agreement he is not entitled to the house at all and half of the bills.

@BigFatLiar

£500 for a months worth of loving is a bargain, I don't know how much loving he'd get for that outside of home

As long as you're happy, don't worry about what anyone else thinks.

Tell me about it! £500 all in, house, sex, all bills including childcare. What a have!

@Troublewaters2021

We have spoken and he will give 500.00 a month towards loving costs his bring him pay is 2900 after tax it seems fair in comparison to my wage.

I hope he'll be paying towards childcare too OP!