Do you charge partners “ rent “

[Troublewaters2021]

Quick question 😂
In this scenario - both work, one owns a house and is selling and buying a new house in their name only.
One who owns house has 2 kids from previous relationship and then there is 1 child from the relationship currently.
Would you charge “ rent “ ?

Half childcare and bills.

Don’t charge him rent in mortgage free but equally don’t give him a discount on the bills because you have additional kids. Seems a fair balance.

*if

I'd make sure I had it in writing from them and signed saying that if we split up they had zero claims to my property.

The only way I'd agree to this was if a contract was drawn up guaranteeing I'd get back what I put in in the event the house was sold.

Why though? You don't get anything back with a landlord. Why is it different? It's quite an entitled outlook.

So you pay half each for food and then he doesn't pay towards anything else.

We pay proportionally to income for joint bills as we find that fairest, but lots of people do 50:50.

Can you add up all joint expenses then have a chat with him and see what he thinks is fair. Hopefully he's a decent guy who just hasn't thought and will want to do the fair thing too.

I would add up all the joint costs

Sorry I dozed off for a nap on the sofa by accident.

To answer the question as to why I won’t put his name on the house and that means I’m not serious about the relationship.

The reason I as a parent done this was because I had 2 children previously -
It was not their fault their father left or that I was a single mum of that I met another man and had a child with them.
I saved and worked long hours as well as trying to be the best mum I could for them. The house is for my children not my DP he never had to put a deposit down or meet monthly payments for the house ( this was obviously because he wasn’t around at the time ) but still .. he is the same age as me and doesn’t own a house, he doesn’t have a mortgage I don’t see why just because we are together now I have to put his name on a house that I have 100 percent fully paid for. If I had a mortgage 500 would not be half the mortgage, 500 would not cover half the outgoings a month so don’t see that meaning he would have any share in my house. The house if I die is being left to my children equally including our child together.

@RandomLondoner

I'd find it quite odd for my PARTNER and COPARENT to charge me for living in a house they aren't actually paying for

If I sold 100K of shares and put the money into paying off the mortgage, that might be on average £500 a month in stock-market returns I'm no longer getting.

The idea that because there are no cashflows it costs nothing to own the house is wrong.

I'm not saying he shouldn't be paying for utilities etc and contributing to maintenance etc but I think paying a fair share of those bills, money towards the kids and then "rent" on top of that on a relationship is odd. Yes she could have put the money into stocks and shares but she didn't. The house will accrue value anyway so if they split she'll have more than she paid for initially. I do think he needs to get his hand on his wallet and start supporting his family tho.

How long has been there op?

OP I admire you putting your kids first. In your situation I wouldn’t charge “rent” but I’d be splitting all the household bills fifty-fifty with my partner (unless there was a major income disparity in which case I’d adjust to allow for that).

I don't know that I'd charge 'rent' but I'd appreciate something, maybe groceries, them to pay for a takeaway/ night out etc

I think you may need to get a legal agreement drawn up. My aunt had significant assets & met someone else after divorce. No kids with new partner but it contributes X monthly & when the house is sold he gets a % back.

Could you both put a set amount into an account and it pays utilities, council tax, food and childcare costs for joint child.

Why though? You don't get anything back with a landlord. Why is it different? It's quite an entitled outlook.

It's different because they are in a relationship & have a dc together. If the genders were reversed I would be encouraging the women to secure something for herself too.

@doomonic yes you probably would but the whole if we split and Half the house I would never allow happen- not in a million years.

No half the house isn't fair but neither is nothing.

Ok I've read your updates.
You own the house outright so no mortgage. Therefore I wouldn't charge 'rent' but I absolutely would expect the living costs to be split - your both living there after all.
If he wanted to, he could buy another house to rent out if he was that bothered about owning. 🤷🏼‍♀️
Good idea to have an up to date will too!

@doomonic but why ?
He has his own money this is not a situation where one of us have had to give up our career / saved the other money on childcare etc

Also without being morbid what happens if you die young? Surely he has to stay with your dc?

@doomonic

Why though? You don't get anything back with a landlord. Why is it different? It's quite an entitled outlook.

It's different because they are in a relationship & have a dc together. If the genders were reversed I would be encouraging the women to secure something for herself too.

He can secure something for himself by buying his own home to rent out. He isn't entitled to anything for free just because he's dating someone.

@DissociativeBitch yeh I have always made sure my will is up to date :) I am not willing to sacrifice any part of the house.

Hello OP I understand why you have bought the house solely in your name so that your children benefit. Make sure you get your will written now so it's legally confirmed iyswim.

I think it would help us if you posted figures of your monthly household costs. For example if you paid £400 pcm for utilities, £400 pcm for food & £500 pcm for baby childcare & outgoings then that's £1300 pcm. So divide this by 2 and ask him for £650.

So your original figure of £500 wasn't that far off. Obviously, I've just given estimates but go through your April Bank statement & calculate your household costs. Then ask him to contribute half towards the bills rather than asking for rent. Asking for rest might give him claims on the house later if the relationship goes pear shaped.

If there is no mortgage to pay there should be no rent, just equal payment if the bills.

I think @Nonimai's suggestion needs serious consideration to protect the house from any future claims. Formal rental agreement makes everything clear. Unbelievable that someone was able to deny access to the legal owner.

@Trisolaris

Half childcare and bills.

Don’t charge him rent in mortgage free but equally don’t give him a discount on the bills because you have additional kids. Seems a fair balance.

This is the way I think I would go. Unless earnings are massively disparate then maybe look at a proportional split to earnings. He should definately be paying more than half the food shop!

@Milkywaystars thankyou
Yes so 500.00 a month barely covered half the childcare bill however the reason I came to that figure was to assure it was fair in the sense of our wage ratio. Hope that makes sense :)