Do you charge partners “ rent “

[Troublewaters2021]

Quick question 😂
In this scenario - both work, one owns a house and is selling and buying a new house in their name only.
One who owns house has 2 kids from previous relationship and then there is 1 child from the relationship currently.
Would you charge “ rent “ ?

If there's no mortgage, then you can't charge rent. Not in a relationship.
But the rest of the living expenses should then be split equally.

@SleepingStandingUp our wages we very very different I have more money left than him in savings / bank etc at the end of the month even with paying all the bills which is why I have never asked before.
However I really would like to but down my work hours.

All bills and food should definitely be 50/50. No rent payment seems reasonable as there is no mortgage and their name isn't on the property.

Power: 120?
Water: 30?
Council Tax: £200?
Internet etc: £30?
Contents insurance: £20?

That's only £400. I think it's wrong to charge him more than the total costs so you profit from him and keep all your own wages, altho can see why you might be angry he's not bothered really contributing yet

What about childcare? Do you pay all of that OP?

Ooh childcare, are you paying childcare for shared child?

This isn't actually about you charging rent or not. It's about you being with a man who doesn't seem to contribute a fair share of his and his child's living expenses. One food shop a month is embarrassing.

To be fair though, if someone’s living in a house they should probably pay something towards wear and tear.

Tell him you're cutting your hours and he needs to start contributing a proportional amount

But the 'wear and tear' would (hopefully) be offset by increase in the value of the house (which they aren't sharing in).

I go back to work soon ( maternity leave ) I am paying childcare yes.

And it's not just childcare. What about any of the other costs associated with the child? Clothes, hobbies, bday parties etc.

He needs to contribute towards his child OP.

Currently she is a baby, so no hobbies as such 😂

So it kind of goes like this at the moment

I pay - household stuff / bills / childcare / 1 food shop a month, I tend to do the bulk of the babies clothes etc
I also pay obviously for my previous children’s things alone so clothes / hobbies / xmas and birthday etc

He doesn’t pay anything set in stone a month but if I said “ can you pick some vests up “ or “ can you pick some break and milk on your way home “ he will and he does by DD things.

This sort of question crops up again and again on here. I own my own house and wouldn't want anyone to live here for nothing. It took blood sweat and tears to own it and I would resent someone who thought they could just move and pay nothing!

Yes i would, and did when now DH first moved in to my house, expect a contribution towards bills and food and a bit more on top otherwise you are paying for their living expenses.

Urm if the father didn’t contribute to the first house and isn’t putting a deposit on the second then yes keep it in your own name but bill wise he pays 1/3 and you pay 2/3. He also needs to be paying for his children too. For me I probably would put him on the mortgage but get a solicitor letter to say if you split then he gets a certain percentage of the house or the money equivalent and you keep the rest. A bit unfair for him to pay half everything for a house that’s not his.

You really should have had this conversation before moving in OP. Or at least before having a child together. Yes, he should be paying for half of all bills (all the outgoings that he uses or his child uses). I don't pay half as I earn less due to working PT but we had that conversation before we had a child together. Although, I appreciate hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I live with my partner, we have 1 dc. I work part time due to dc with asn, he works full time. House is in his name totally. I pay half of all bills (including home improvements, repairs etc) except the mortgage.

It's not unfair he pays half of all bills if the house isn't his. There is no mortgage so no house as such to pay.

I don't understand how you ended up in a situation where your partner contributes so little OP? You shouldn't have to ask him.

What does he spend his salary on if he has no living costs except one monthly food shop??

Oops apologies I didn’t see the no mortgage bit. In that case he should pay 1/3 atleast of the house bills and half of his children’s care. Can’t ask for half everything as it’s not his house and would be unfair.

I'd say there are 5 of you in the house. You have responsibility for 3.5, he has responsibility for 1.5. However if he is enjoying no housing costs then I'd expect him to make some contribution to the rest of the household.

I think I would expect at least 50:50 on all bills (council tax, utilities, food, insurance etc. ) giving that he doesn't have to fund accommodation. Maybe it would depend on earnings.

Does $500 cover his portion of the bills and food and 50% for your joint DC (childcare, activities, food, clothes etc..). Probably not. Start with 50/50 childcare plus bills and an amount for child related expenses. I’m shocked he hasn’t been paying much at all and this hasn’t been sorted out before

It just seems very odd to treat your life partner and father of your youngest child as some kind of lodger.

Also, he should have been sharing bills with you in your current house.

Does he earn a reasonable salary / have any savings? Can't you put him on the mortgage for the new house, but make his share smaller to reflect the larger amount you are putting into it?