Do you charge partners “ rent “

[Troublewaters2021]

Quick question 😂
In this scenario - both work, one owns a house and is selling and buying a new house in their name only.
One who owns house has 2 kids from previous relationship and then there is 1 child from the relationship currently.
Would you charge “ rent “ ?

He isn't entitled to anything for free just because he's dating someone.

Again it would be in the OPs best interests to get a legal agreement drawn up

I completely agree with you keeping your house in your name. If I were to no longer be with my husband I can't see that I would ever marry as I want to protect my assets for my children.

Your partner should be paying for half childcare, a portion of all other bills, i would think 1.15/3.5 seems fair (adults 1 and children half so he pays for himself and half of your child).

I wouldn't add a portion of 'rent' as you don't have a mortgage to pay so he should be paying a fair share of the family expenses.

Even if you are not married just being in a relationship & paying towards a shared home can be dodgy ground.

I totally agree with OP about the mortgage. The man has had no children, he is working, if he had wanted to buy a house, and add that into the pot when the bigger new house was bought, then things would be an entirely different matter. But he hasnt. He has made his own choices over the years, as has OP. He COULD use any extra money he has into savings towards a property for himself (a buy to let or suchlike) or he may choose to spend it all (as it seems he hasnt brought savings to the table either)

However he should be contributing to the outgoings equally, including childcare costs for his child. OP will have lost her single person discount on council tax, so that would have gone up.

I hope he is being equall with the running of the house too - housework/drop offs to nursery when time comes/cooking/ shopping.

Wel I'd look at your wages now and see what a fair split would be - 60/40, 70/30 etc and of you cut your hours. Presumably that would also cut your childcare bill so altho the proportions would even out, the overall cost would reduce

For those saying 50/50 5 people live in the house op should pay 3.5 and dp 1.5 of all bills then pay 50% of the childcare costs each if that works out more then the 500 tough he can work more hours to help pay for his child

Perhaps he'd be better off just finding somewhere himself and seeing you when you can get together and maybe going 50/50 with your joint child.

Save you all the angst.

@BigFatLiar

Perhaps he'd be better off just finding somewhere himself and seeing you when you can get together and maybe going 50/50 with your joint child.

Save you all the angst.

You think people should seperate rather than discuss sensible financial arrangements? Do you avoid all sensible conversations on your relationships?

@Dddccc

For those saying 50/50 5 people live in the house op should pay 3.5 and dp 1.5 of all bills then pay 50% of the childcare costs each if that works out more then the 500 tough he can work more hours to help pay for his child

Sure, but all but OP and her partner are children so hardly the same cost to feed as an adult man. OP will also need to pay for property bills such as decorating and maintenance whereas her partner has no rent or mortgage so the least he can do is split food, water, heating, council tax etc 50/50 along with childcare for his own child.

The house if I die is being left to my children equally including our child together.

So if you die OH is out on his ear?

You think people should seperate rather than discuss sensible financial arrangements? Do you avoid all sensible conversations on your relationships?

Not really, I'm of an age when we married we just lumped everything in together (and he did have his own flat), when we bought a bigger place it wasn't 'his' flat we sold but 'our' flat and became 'our' house.
Second (and subsequent?) relationships seem problematic. Fencing off previous assets so new partner can't get at them, charging 'rent', concern over childcare etc.
Charging 'rent' presumably if the OP goes out then her OH looks after their child and a babysitter comes in for the others or perhaps she pays babysitting rates. Bank holiday weekend - would he take his child out for the day and leave her to sort childcare for the others?
I can't see why people bother with going in for new relationships when it becomes so transactional.

He should at least be contributing proportionally to the bills and your child’s expenses like childcare.

Don’t call it rent though. It’s not. It’s living costs.

He benefits from having no rent or mortgage costs. It’s pretty shocking if he’s never offered you more than the cost of one lot of shopping a month before. He must know bills aren’t free.

I wouldn’t, no. The house is in your name and will be yours if you ever split. You can’t have it both ways. Meanwhile, if he pays rent he will not be building up anything for his own future security. I would expect a fair contribution to expenses. In these situations, it is advisable if the other partner to buy a separate property and rent it out. That rent can be added to the family pot as they are living rent free. This takes care of everybody in the here and now but also fairly if there was ever a split.

I don't think he should pay rent if you're not paying a mortgage but he should be paying for a third of bills and food. And he should be paying half the cost of childcare and other baby costs.

Practically all his wage is disposable income, he's like your kid, not your partner.

It's ridiculous to say he should be named on your house when he's never paid a penny. That's your kids security.

In general I do think people should pay their partner rent. Assuming it is fair. However, you having kids together makes it a bit different and I'd be inclined to not charge rent, but maybe pay a bit more towards utilities. I'd also encourage him to save up for an investment property for his own safety.

What goes to interesting territory with me is what are your expectation with him towards contributing towards the house. Will he be expected to contribute if you need renovations etc.?

Rent in partnership is a bit of a hot topic that divides people. Also I think people use the word rent loosely. I think rent is money that goes to the 'landlord' if you have set that he should contribute about £500 that covers his expenses and then 'landlord' tops up another £500 to pay bills then it's not really rent.

He's been living expense free for god knows how long, showing no financial responsibility. I wouldn't be telling the op to add him to her mortgage!

Our house is only in partners name purely because he's employed full time and I work for myself so we could get a better rate for the mortgage with just his name. He has all dd set up in his account and his wages cover everything. I pay £1000 a week into his account which goes into savings account to pay for holidays, cars decorating ect and I keep 350 a week which pays my dd (petplan and credit card) and pays for all the kids clubs and nursery fees and coffees ect when we go out. Never charged each other rent and if I have a break from work I'm not expected to pay anything.

@iusedtohavechickens but you give 1000 a week ?

I’m asking for 500 a month 😂

@Rewis no, he won’t be contributing to the house at all including renovations,

@DotsandCo

Just change the word 'rent' OP...it's this word that some posters seem to be twisting their knickers over 🤦‍♀️

So currently...you pay for EVERYTHING apart from his one (out of the two that you need!) Tesco shop per month?

He saw you coming! His total contribution to your joint living arrangements is ONE supermarket shop a month! Totally taking this piss whilst laughing all the way to the bank 👍

Your outgoings need to be split evenly really don't they? He knows it too...but call this 'family outgoings' or 'shared cost of living expenses' or some such shit, to appease the twisted knicker brigade 😉

Exactly this. It's calling it rent when it should be sharing the responsibility.

@iusedtohavechickens are you unmarried because that leaves you in a very vulnerable position when it comes to the house.

You can be on the deeds and not the mortgage - I would suggest you protect yourself here

YANBU at all. Especially since £500 a month doesn't even cover half the utilities/childcare. Even if OP isn't paying a mortgage, he is receiving the benefit of living in a house which the majority of people have to pay for one way or another.

For those who think its bad OP is leaving the house to the children, if it was left to him then he could easily leave it only to the shared child meaning OP's older children would be disinherited.

I’d expect no rent if they don’t have a stake in the house but encourage them to save an amount just in case it goes sideways and they need to move out.

For bills, as there are three of you, one of him and a joint child, in order to be fair I would split them 70/30.

@Troublewaters2021

Sorry I dozed off for a nap on the sofa by accident.

To answer the question as to why I won’t put his name on the house and that means I’m not serious about the relationship.

The reason I as a parent done this was because I had 2 children previously -
It was not their fault their father left or that I was a single mum of that I met another man and had a child with them.
I saved and worked long hours as well as trying to be the best mum I could for them. The house is for my children not my DP he never had to put a deposit down or meet monthly payments for the house ( this was obviously because he wasn’t around at the time ) but still .. he is the same age as me and doesn’t own a house, he doesn’t have a mortgage I don’t see why just because we are together now I have to put his name on a house that I have 100 percent fully paid for. If I had a mortgage 500 would not be half the mortgage, 500 would not cover half the outgoings a month so don’t see that meaning he would have any share in my house. The house if I die is being left to my children equally including our child together.

I can't believe he hasn't offered to pay more of the bills and expenses. He's not very impressive

For those who think its bad OP is leaving the house to the children, if it was left to him then he could easily leave it only to the shared child meaning OP's older children would be disinherited.

If she thinks that's how he'd behave why on earth would she be with him.

Assuming they're not married then it looks like the way to go is: set out in the will that the two elder children get 50/50 of the value of her estate prior to the new relationship (allow for inflation etc) and the three children get 1/3rd each of the estate after the new relationship. DP gets her best wishes for a long future. In the event of his death DC3 gets all his inconsiderable assets.

When we married my new husband paid £500 a month rent , he had no say on mortgage etc and all household bills in my name. We moved after a couple of years and now he pays half of everything and we have a declaration of trust to protect the equity from sale of previous house. He is not named on the new house and nor will he be named in a house move happening at the moment