Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not get why people refuse to exercise?

544 replies

JumpingJacky · 30/04/2021 16:21

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

OP posts:
FangsForTheMemory · 30/04/2021 16:24

If someone made the kind of suggestions you say you've made to people you know, to me, I'd tell you to mind your own business.

WorraLiberty · 30/04/2021 16:28

Are they actually asking you for your advice?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/04/2021 16:29

Nah. Fair suggestion to people who moan about that stuff.

People underestimate exercise effects on the mind and body imo. I did too. I still skip when I am not in a mood, but with sedentary lifestyles, it's needed for various reasons.

And heck yeah. It got rid of my backpain i had for a long time.

iklboo · 30/04/2021 16:30

I'm glad it worked for you. But you know nothing about me and I'll tell you to bugger off if you started proselytising

AuntieStella · 30/04/2021 16:30

What you are saying is right on one level.

But I think YABU because you're their friend/relative not their PT (and I assume you aren't qualified?)

If they want your help/advice, they'll ask for it. Until they do, then neutral support would be more appropriate than evangelising. So sympathise with the aches and pains, maybe ask what has helped in the past or they think might help now. Then if there is a way to encourage them, do that.

TL:DR - take your lead from them and don't preach

Sparklfairy · 30/04/2021 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Pumperthepumper · 30/04/2021 16:31

Oh stop. Running actually changed my life and I’m evangelical about it but it’s not as simple as ‘it’s uncomfortable and that’s a small price to pay’ - there are so many things that can stop a person. Weather. Safety. Decent trainers or walking boots. Time. Injury.

rainbowthoughts · 30/04/2021 16:31

I'm overweight and my health is starting to suffer. I know the theory of healthy weight loss and over the years I have lost and gained a few times. I'm also autistic and I simply cannot regulate myself in the way I should be able to.

Does that help you under what some people refuse? You know, everybody not being the same as you and what not?

osbertthesyrianhamster · 30/04/2021 16:31

I'm sure they have their reasons. Leave them to it. Preachy people are tedious in the extreme.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 30/04/2021 16:32

You sound absolutely sanctimonious and I would eat a doughnut every time you started going on if I was your friend or relative.

Megan2018 · 30/04/2021 16:32

People like to moan about problems-doesn’t mean they actually want to fix them. Same is true for relationships, work, money etc.
They usually just want someone to agree how shit it is-they don’t want you to help them.

I hate exercise, it’s the most boring thing ever. I like being active though and I get my exercise looking after horse and toddler. Gyms and classes are my idea of hell though.

Dogfan · 30/04/2021 16:32

I would be so cross if you spoke to me like that! Most people know what is good or bad for them e.g. smoking and make decisions anyway. They have to make their own minds up. You don't know the real reason they don't want to exercise - they might be self conscious, they might not like it, loads of reasons and you telling them off will likely make them want to do it even less. My abusive ex constantly told me I didn't exercise enough and I ate too much and the wrong food (I wasn't even fat!) and I now have real issues with food and carry a lot of shame. It was just his way to control me. If someone told me not to eat something now I would be so triggered. Try being kinder to these people, you don't know what they are feeling.

Love51 · 30/04/2021 16:32

I've always exercised. The past year the sorts of exercise I do (group yoga class, sports club and swimming) were not available. I had to do running. I injured myself, plantar fascitiis. I'm fairly sure that if I didn't know that all the other forms of exercise were less painful I'd have given all exercise up as a bad job.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 30/04/2021 16:32

Preachy people are tedious in the extreme.

You are not wrong at all, but tbf to OP, so are people who consistently moan and regused to do anything to make situation better.

AnUnoriginalUsername · 30/04/2021 16:34

I think YANBU, don't just start telling people they need to exercise more but when someone is complaining about something caused by lack of exercise then it's logical to say, try exercising.

Like if a smoker is complaining about being out of breath or coughing, it's probably the smoking pal.

PurpleDaisies · 30/04/2021 16:35

I think exercise is brilliant but you sound like a very annoying person to be around.

SonnyWinds · 30/04/2021 16:36

This could not be more holier than thou. People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. It's very easy to say, "I like doing something and it's beneficial to me to do it - I can't understand why people who hate doing it avoid doing it"...and then immediately go and avoid doing something else that would be beneficial to you because you hate it.
No one is perfect and everyone hates something that would be good for them to do: exercise, cleaning, tackling conflict head on, going to bed earlier, showering more often, eating vegetables, drinking water, cutting out caffeine or alcohol.... I'd assume, OP, that there is something you would benefit from doing that you don't do because you hate doing it? If so, mind your own business and stop being a hypocrite.

Aliceandthemarchhare · 30/04/2021 16:36

I just don’t find it enjoyable at all.

AFS1 · 30/04/2021 16:36

Your intentions are good and I understand why you’re evangelical about exercise but the reasons why people don’t/won’t/can’t exercise are multi-faceted and complex, and nagging them about going is likely to make them dig their heels in more.

And unless you’re medically qualified, please refrain from suggesting exercises for someone with back pain. I recently hurt my lower back being over-exuberant in a body pump class. Although I’d had lower back pain before, this was on another level and none of my previous exercises helped. Many of them made it worse. Your relative should seek professional advice.

Justmuddlingalong · 30/04/2021 16:36

Anyone evangelical about any subject is a massive pita imo.

AbsentmindedWoman · 30/04/2021 16:36

I have type 1 diabetes for 25 years.

I manage my blood sugar mostly at 'normal' non-diabetic levels, as much as is humanly possible. It is an insanely difficult thing to do.

This means that exercise needs METICULOUS planning to avoid a hypo (low blood sugar) and on some days, to avoid the hypo, it means eating glucose tablets when out exercising.

I moved to New York a while before covid and during the brunt of the pandemic stayed at home for about 12 weeks. There was no way I was going to go outside, touch gates etc, then eat my glucose tablets with unwashed hands out and about. Not even with hand sanitizer.

I was about 3 or 4 times more likely to die from covid before vaccination, but I wasn't just worried about dying - I have diabetes damage to my blood vessels and trying my best not to go blind, and was extremely worried about anything that would upset my management (infections raise blood sugar, plus hospitals are often shite at properly managing type 1s if you have to stay in) plus was worried about having a relentless cough when my eyes were in a very delicate condition in case of more haemorrhages.

I did do Youtube workouts but hardly moved compared to my usual amount of movement!

This is long but I'm trying to break down the steps of why sometimes people feel the barriers to just going out for a walk or a run are simply too high.

Sometimes it really isn't easy. And not because of can't-be-arsed-ness.

FindingMeno · 30/04/2021 16:37

I'm kind of with you op.
If you've got the ability to exercise and it will help what you're moaning about, either do the exercise or stop moaning.

AfterSchoolWorry · 30/04/2021 16:38

Post-Exertional Malaise.

I have to save energy for essential tasks.

Frymetothemoon · 30/04/2021 16:39

I exercise only because I know I have to, but I HATE IT with a vengeance. Is that good enough for you?

SwedishEdith · 30/04/2021 16:39

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it

There's your problem, right there. Plus, it's boring. Not that hard to get.