To not get why people refuse to exercise?

[JumpingJacky]

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

Exercise is boring as fuck, and I wouldn't do it even if I wasn't riddled with arthritis.

I occasionally go for a swim, but hate the smell of chlorine and trying to get dry enough to dress in a steamy, humid changing room. And it seems to make my back pain worse.

I hope that when I finally get a new knee, I'll be able to start going for walks again, but while I've been on the waiting list the other knee has become more and more painful, so I reckon that one's knackered, or well on the way to being knackered, now.

Because they don't enjoy it.

Because they feel tired and achy and sore afterwards.

Because it's short term pain for long term gain and human beings aren't good at that particular trade off.

I think it’s because it’s hard work and not immediately rewarding. I’ve spent 15 months moving more and eating better for health reasons I genuinely didn’t know I could feel this good I thought I was just getting old and waiting to die (age 43)

I am bored out of my skull whenever I exercise. I hate the physical sensation of getting hot and breathless. I have never once experienced a high or adrenaline/endorphin rush from it - if anything my mood tends to crash afterwards. My boobs are massive and no sports bra in the world is going to make high impact exercise comfortable. I feel miserably self conscious about my weight/unfitness/total lack of physical grace in the presence of thinner, sportier, more graceful people. I have heel injuries. Ultimately, these are not excuses for not exercising but they are barriers to motivation and participation. Your judgemental, wide eyed faux innocence is neither needed nor welcome.

You sound like someone I would definitely cut out of my life. I hate people who preach to others and always know what’s best for them.

If you're giving the advice unsolicited then you really should butt out.

If its like my DM who asks for advice and exercise tips then ignores it... you may have a point.

I don't exercise so that goady fuckers have something to vent their spleen on.

Otherwise, I'm a frustrated ironman triathlete.
Whatt do you mean you don't do long distance running? Allow me to explain in exactly what ways that makes your a deficient human....

@OwlBeThere

Well I’ll tell you this *@JumpingJacky* as a woman who had back pain and was constantly told to lose weight as the holy grail...when I went to the gym I had people take photos of me and post them on social media ridiculing me, I had staff refuse to help me. And all that happened was I lost weight, self esteem abd confidence. It didn’t help my pain, which it wouldn’t have because I have a disability that has nothing to do with weight.

When you are in pain, going to the gym is hard. Exercising is hard. And then when you do go you get laughed at.

The same people who laugh and point people out at gyms do it when they see people out and about normally too. And they do it to others, usually fat middle aged women, because they see us as an easy target & expect us to stay silent and just take their crap.

Don’t use that as a reason to limit yourself if you enjoy something and if you can report them.

I had to take up yoga recently but my bum and thighs look like a huge sack of potatoes right now as all the local climbing gyms are closed and that’s my muscle building activity of choice. I only bent over in my new yoga tights when someone made a comment. I ignored them at the time but I looked them up on LinkedIn later and then tweeted their employer with their name and what they said. That person never returned and afterwards I found out he was making weird comments to all the women.

Yes, everyone loves evangelical people. Do you do CrossFit?

Also, unless you are a doctor you have no idea what’s causing your friends back pain. It’s highly irresponsible to suggest exercises to someone when you have no idea what’s wrong.
My dad was told his sedentary lifestyle was the cause of his back pain and was sent for physio, 3 months the poor bastard suffered of this. What he actually had was stage 4 lung cancer.

And that was a doctor. So I suggest if you must recommend stuff you tell them to speak to a doctor first.

YANBU, I couldn't imagine my life without exercise, it's helped me through cancer and covid. I've always loved it and always will.

I hated exercise. Combination of sedentary lifestyle, medications and crap diet means I am way bigger than I was years back, and lockdown made things worse. Walking is boring (I need a destination, not walking for the sake of it), and I could never get on with YouTube videos.
Hands up, I moan about my shape and lack of fitness. I do think that it is a case of finding something you like, if you want to change.
I now use Virtual Reality as my form of exercise. Yes, it is basically games but it gets me moving and I am feeling so much better for it. You can compete with other people, personal bests are saved so you can compete with yourself, and you get encouragement in game too (in some apps anyway). It is easy to go over any allotted time too as it does not feel like exercise. It is fun!

@OwlBeThere

Well I’ll tell you this *@JumpingJacky* as a woman who had back pain and was constantly told to lose weight as the holy grail...when I went to the gym I had people take photos of me and post them on social media ridiculing me, I had staff refuse to help me. And all that happened was I lost weight, self esteem abd confidence. It didn’t help my pain, which it wouldn’t have because I have a disability that has nothing to do with weight.

When you are in pain, going to the gym is hard. Exercising is hard. And then when you do go you get laughed at.

Owl this is the shitiest thing. O would complain to the gym about their members behaviour and the fact they think they can out other member's pictures online. Also about the staff. Then change gym. I went to gym few times at 130kg and I don't know if it's because people were afraid I will eat them, but no one did anything like that. If they did I would be onto management asap. I didn't enjoy gym in the end anyway, but that was just me.

If you otherwise enjoyed it, don't let few dickheads ruin it. If you didn't than try to forget it.

A few fat shaming posts this afternoon huh!

@FangsForTheMemory

If someone made the kind of suggestions you say you've made to people you know, to me, I'd tell you to mind your own business.

Me too!

Everyone knows the benefit of exercise. Ramming it down people's throats is pointless and will make them defensive and stubborn.

I could do with losing a stone, unfortunately, I hate exercise although up to around 2006 I swam regularly enrolled at the gym and played (badly to be honest) badminton, all weekly but gradually it tapered off.

I did take up Swingjive but had to pay privately as I worked shifts and it was expensive doing it that way but the person doing it stopped.

Hope it wasn't because of me not being that good although I really enjoyed it and would have continued...

You're right OP but people just don't welcome this kind of advice. They have to work this stuff out for themselves and sometimes sadly just don't or can't - I'm one of them.

I've only got into exercise in the past year, I now love it and understand why it's so vital and like you almost feel like I could evangelise about it - yet no amount of preaching would have convinced me. After almost 40 years of life, it took covid scaring the shit out of me for me to go for it.

I genuinely think that PE teachers have a fucking lot to answer for in terms of our nations health.

Out of interest do you also work hard all the time, study, save money, not drink/ smoke/ take drugs, look after the environment, be a model parent (if you are one) or family member, stay out of the sun, etc etc.?

Because those are all things that are pretty good for you as well but people don't do them.

Stop preaching and look at yourself. You exercise, that's great, gold star for you. But you're not perfect - why aren't you doing all the other things that you should be doing?

If you have the ability to exercise I don't get why people don't try things out to see what they like, or do a variety to stop getting bored.
I hated team sports I was made to play at school, but have discovered activities I love since then.
It's like deciding you hate all healthy food to decide you hate all exercise without trying lots!

If people aren’t willing to help themselves then there’s not much you can do. I wouldn’t listen to lots of whinging and moaning from them though if they’re not willing to do anything to help themselves. I’d just change the subject or distance myself from that person.

The irony of a British (?English?) person moaning about people who moan too much (rather than execute solutions to their problems).

@edwinbear exercising to be able to drink lots of wine and not put weight on is the best reason imo

I'm with you @JumpingJacky. Agreed, no-one likes to be given unsolicited advice, but I think people's sense of entitlement and outrage at being presented with what is indisputably the obvious solution to SOME health problems is difficult to understand. A relative of mine is a case in point. He is morbidly obese, diabetic, has heart problems, back problems, walks with a stick etc. During the lockdown, he fell and broke his shoulder and his weight added to his problems. His weight goes up and down but when motivated (ie when there's a woman on the horizon) he is capable of pulling himself together, ie eating less and exercising. After one of these weight loss successes, after which he literally threw away his walking stick, he admitted that ALL of his problems were due to his weight.

What is sad is that health professionals are prevented from addressing people's mental health by prescribing exercise and healthy diet training due to lack of funding for preventative health, and a prevailing sense that it is somehow mentally more damaging to recommend weight loss and exercise to a healthy level than to celebrate being unhealthily overweight.

Preventative care in the shape of decent levels of exercise and restraint in food consumption would not only save the NHS (and the taxpayer, for fuck's sake) a load of money, but result in a happier and healthier population. Everyone works hard and feels like it's one more thing to have to do, I get it, but the benefits outweigh the inconvenience.

OP - don;t be an exercise bore.

And I speak as someone who has exercised all my ( long) adult life.

Just as there are lots of reasons why people exercise, there are lots of reasons why people don't.

Do you think telling people that exercise is good for them is a huge reveal? They know that.
Walk in someone else's shoes for a while- that is your challenge OP- to realise that not everyone thinks the same way as you do.

Exercise is hard

Being unfit and overweight is hard

Choose your hard

Ultimately it is their choice. I get how you feel, but it’s not your job to sort out