To not get why people refuse to exercise?

[JumpingJacky]

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

I detest everything except dancing. I hate walking, jogging, the gym, swimming etc. HATE it. I always have.

Turns out I have hyper mobility which is why some stuff just hurts. It’s not about fitness. It’s about pain.

I’m so uninterested in being preached to. It suggests I’m an idiot which I’m obviously not.

I loathe exercising for the sake of it. School PE knocked it out of me years ago. I hate it with a passion and go out of my way to avoid it. Lots of other people are the same.

When people have a little moan about something, they are not asking you to come up with a solution and ideas of how to fix it, they are looking for tea and sympathy.

I feel the same about eating animals but I think you would be quite annoyed if I lectured to you.

@FangsForTheMemory

If someone made the kind of suggestions you say you've made to people you know, to me, I'd tell you to mind your own business.

Then they should stop bloody moaning then!

@askingrandomsonlinemighthelp

What if someone came over to your house and said you didn't have very good taste in décor... or you weren't a big reader... or up to date with current affairs? Or your cooking was shite? Or your partner is a bit minging? Or you sex life a bit vanilla? Or your accent a bit annoying? Or you say "haitch" and not "aitch"? Or you job's a bit shit? Or your kids aren't pleasant to be around? Or you're so busy jumping around the place, people think you're boring as fuck? All these things are easy enough to change! Sort yourself out!

Not nice, is it?

Well if you are moaning about your decor, your partner, accent (which i do lol), job etc then yes, people will often say to "My job/house/partner is crap and I am not enjoying it" "oh, do you want to try x to see if it gets better?" As if no one would ever suggest sending out CV to someone who is unhappy about their job and moans about it.

But yes. Still being really evangelic is shit

Exercise is boring and difficult. That's why people don't do it. And we have a hugely car-centric culture so people don't walk or cycle as a matter of course, which would be easy ways to exercise without feeling it.

But it's worth persevering beyond the painful stage (or find something else to do eg cycling is such fun when you go out with a group of friends and isn't really tough like eg running, which doesn't get easier, you just get faster :) ).

If exercise literally saved your life - - then this implies that YOU have only recently come to embrace it.

Of course you are right BUT you are inadvertently being over bearing, nagging and controlling which will the opposite effect that you intend.

Good for you - join us in the echo chamber on the exercise threads - you will be welcomed and will enjoy the camaraderie with like minded people

@Parky04 I think it's fine to ask them politely not to keep complaining about something.

I am evangelical about it

And you joined MN just to share your insights?

I agree OP, I don't understand how people can have no exercise in their lives. I have friends who continually moan about being fat and are on the diet roundabout, whilst also saying how slim & fit I am. I no longer say "do some bloody exercise then", they're not interested. On a funny note one friend joined the gym (briefly) and told the instructor at induction she didn't want to get out of breath or sweaty🤣

I get you op

It's beyond annoying listening to people winge on about stuff they could change

They would rather waste your time and energy listening and making sympathetic Noises than use thier time to fix the problem . It's rude.

I’m lazy.

I’m evangelical about the taste of cherry coke.

Does that help you?

I have a friend like you who loves exercise and she hikes for miles and miles and constantly bangs on about its benefits and how it has improved her physical and mental health. I don't doubt it has improved her health and I'm happy for her but I don't need to hear how I need to start doing it and how much it would benefit me. If I wanted to go I would. I know you mean well but you will come over very patronising to your friends. If they want advice from you they'll ask for it.

I have tried many forms of exercise in my life and I've yet to find anything that doesn't bore the hell out of me.

So before you got into it and became 'evangelical', why had you no interest in it, OP?

I mean, it's not rocket science is it? Exercise deemed important and we all know that so why didn't you hop to it yourself?

Just be quiet, OP. Your opinions are neither wanted or required.

Exercise sucks , I'm not allowed in most gyms or pools due to insurance because exercise makes me faint and I have balance issues , I also have chronic fatigue syndrome so if I over do it then I am wrecked for days and days. So are these good enough reasons not to exercise?to not love it? If you were my friend or relative I'd tell you exactly where to stick your "advice"

Then they should stop bloody moaning then!

No.

Moaning doesn't mean people want advice. Unless someone asks for your advice, don't give it!

If this is true, your emotional imagination appears to be very poor. I can think of loads of reasons someone might avoid exercise, including the effects of panic disorder on endurance, weight stigma, chronic pain/fatigue, movement avoidance as a result of chronic pain, low self-esteem/efficacy... Perhaps you should focus on your own empathy and insight before trying to address others' 'deficiencies'.

Well I’ll tell you this @JumpingJacky as a woman who had back pain and was constantly told to lose weight as the holy grail...when I went to the gym I had people take photos of me and post them on social media ridiculing me, I had staff refuse to help me. And all that happened was I lost weight, self esteem abd confidence.
It didn’t help my pain, which it wouldn’t have because I have a disability that has nothing to do with weight.

When you are in pain, going to the gym is hard. Exercising is hard. And then when you do go you get laughed at.

I like being active. I never had a car until my late 20’s so walked everywhere ( no buses in the country). I did heavy physical jobs and on the go jobs. I had a dogs and was out all day running round one way or another . Now I have a fairly sedentary job.

What I gate is gyms, classes, running like a knob past loads of people walking normally on the pavements.or paths. The whole dress up to do any sort of exercise ( everyone round here has named trainers/ walking boots/jackets just to walk up the local hill) makes me cringe 30 day shred was amazing but bored of it now.

That’s why I don’t.

I love exercise, that's why I do it a lot, as far as I can see most people dont enjoy it and they generally shun physical exertion...their choice I dont give a damn, why would I care?

It hurts, it’s boring, it makes me a million times more aware of every single thing I hate about my body and I feel self conscious like a complete moron trying to do it. I hate it. Is that really so hard to understand?

I totally 100% agree with you. Unfortunately a lot of people aren’t looking for solutions to their problems though. If they’re a good friend you just nod, suggest anyway in a way that’s appropriate, and move on.

I get what you’re saying OP, I hated exercise with a passion and refused to do any for the whole of my twenties. Then, once I managed to push myself into it and get fitter and better at it, I developed an enthusiasm for it. I now run, cycle or hike daily and am always desperate to get outside and get moving.

My life is so much better for it, in so many ways, that I really want to convince everyone that they just need to persevere. I realise that I wouldn’t have appreciated being told what to do though, so I just keep quiet about it.