To not get why people refuse to exercise?

[JumpingJacky]

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

Any thoughts on the replies so far OP, or have you taken to preaching in the streets?

Because it's short term pain for long term gain and human beings aren't good at that particular trade off

Exactly... just look at the whole Covid/ lockdown situation for an example.

Unfortunately those who evangelise about things, religion, vegan diet, exercise etc are far more likely to annoy than convert! Yes it might seem obvious to you but if you had been bullied by your pe teacher, told you couldn't do sport then laughed at by men when you tried the gym (all true) then exercise is not that easy. I have taken up running and swimming but it took masses of courage and encouragement

Because you dont understand not everyone is as lucky as you, this honestly seems the same as people who say 'why dont poor people just work harder' because many peoples medical issues do genuinely stop them excersizing

I have two birth issues that greatly effect most excersizes (1 is a genetic joint issue, the other is a developmental muscle condition which even effects my ability to open doors and hold can openers etc...) and I cant do cardo due to severe lung issue caused by illness as a child.

These are all medically diagnosed issue I have since childhood and last time I tried to excersize I tore my oblique on the 2nd excersize class and I was already set to work at 1/3rd the pace of everyone else due to my problems, its embarrasing on top of the extreme pain I ended up with.

Dispite that I 'look' young and healthy, the comments about being lazy get fucking infuriating, I dont need to be told Im young so should take the stairs etc... just because people are old doesnt mean they are disabled and just because someone is young doesnt mean they arent.

I dont like classing myself as invisably disabled because I dont like to think of myself as that disabled (certainly doesnt compare to many who are visably disable) and I get by ok in day to day life but I dont need to be judged for why Im not doing aquarobics, yoga or jogging by insufferable know it all health nuts.

There is nothing that would make me want to do something less, than an evangelical person with no empathy, ramming it down my throat.

You will end up with no friends, OP. Different people like different things. It's not so hard to understand. Especially when the thing is hard work, takes time, and makes you hurt.

Its very easy to proselytise about something that you enjoy and benefit from. Everyone knows that exercise is good for you etc, but that doesn't make it easy or even possible for them to do it. If you really want to help your relative, you might suggest going for a gentle walk with them as a first step and support them. Banging on about how marvellous exercise is to someone who can't or won't exercise for whatever reason does nothing except alienate them.

I am evangelical about it
Try to curb this. It works for you, it doesn't work for everyone else. That's not something you need to concern yourself with.

It's a tough one as I've been that friend with the bad back - only through having my own revelation was I spurred into action and now, whilst a convert, I'm not preachy or evangelical. I would like to carve out a little future for myself though but it really is a fine line between inspiring others and pissing people off.

I had a recently had a conversation with DH about why he didn't intervene and for many reasons he really was in a no win situation.

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help

For this alone YABU. You don’t know what will or won’t help and quite frankly your advice could be dangerous.
Dh had sciatica - a well meaning PT provided a set of exercises. What he actually had was a degenerative disk that had to be removed (earlier than it should have needed) due it bad advice.

So keep quiet.

Evangelism is exhausting.

@AfterSchoolWorry you and me both.

I try so hard to keep weight down. I want to exercise. I can only do it when my CFS is not playing up - which has been for about 4 weeks in total this year. I do what I can within my window - even walking to work some days is not an option. I'd be too knackered to do anything by the time I got there - as even having a bath and getting dressed some mornings often means I have to lie down!

I hate exercise, always have, it bores me rigid. The only things that make it bearable for me are audiobooks and the dog tbh. Without the dog needing to be walked each day I'd probably find any excuse not to exercise tbh. Worse than exercise though are people who drone on about exercise.

People will come up with all sorts of excuses not to exercise, not to eat healthily. We are the heaviest nation in Europe ( bar Malta and they are an outlier due to small population) , that didn’t happen by accident. I get your frustration but you’re setting yourself up for the kind of abuse you’ve had upstream. There’s a wall of denial about the effects of lifestyle on health.

Everyone works hard and feels like it's one more thing to have to do, I get it, but the benefits outweigh the inconvenience.

But your idea of "inconvenience" is asking the impossible for some people.
And exercise takes resources. Time, money, childcare , and I'm sorry but no one will exercise if the whole experience is a punishment.
It can take time, money and exploration to find an exercise that is at least tolerable, if my choices were limited I am not sure I would exercise. I can't stand running and hate swimming, but I am privileged enough to be able to afford gym membership and find classes and types of exercise I enjoy.
Throw three kids into the mix, shift work, poverty, no time, a tiny home then exercise is likely to be dumped.

Having the space, time headspace and money to exercise is a privilege.

I'm sorry but if you complain about your weight or body aches and pains to people you can't complain if they offer you advice.

I love sport, I do 1-3 hours of sport a day, it's a huge part of mine and my families lives. We all train the same martial art along side other individual sport hobbies like football /running etc

However I know it makes me a better version of myself but does not make me morally superior

Because they are too lazy most usually. A few people have genuine reasons why they cannot, but mostly its apathy.

To lighten the mood, anyone wanting to exercise can be super stylish now!

I’m with OP as the Chief Medical Officer is on record as saying that exercise was the new poly pill.
I think it’s perfectly fine to make suggestions to people complaining of issues which could be significantly helped through exercise, particularly when they do not appear to be proactive in seeking solutions.
Women especially are likely to give up exercise as they age, not helped by 1% muscle mass loss each year after the age of 50 and the decline in the metabolic rate because of menopause in top of all of that.
It’s an individual’s choice to ignore the evidence and choose the option of becoming increasingly frail as they age and needing carers to help with everyday tasks when it all could have been easily avoided. GPs are now prescribing exercise increasingly often - what should that tell us?!

Nothing worse than someone who is a self confessed evangelist about something. It’s like they think acknowledging it gives them permission to be a constant pain in the arse.

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help
And this is where it starts to get creepy. You are not trained in this stuff, op! You need to rein it in.

Exercise doesn't work for everyone.

But you aren't incorrect in that a vast majority who moan and could help themselves - don't.

Ime the ones who really cannot don't moan in the first place and suffer in silence.

@minniemomo bless you for your determination to carry on.

Horrible PE teachers and laughing men can do one.

I once remember a sneery PE teacher curling her lip and commenting about a girl running round the track - 'Look at her! What an amoeba!'

I was 15, I lost any respect I had for that teacher - so cruel and unprofessional. How was that supposed to inspire the 70% of us that were not naturally sporty to develop a love of movement and fitness?

I believe in you!

My father was insane about exercise and forced every family member to run every day. Guess what it made us do? Hate running!!

Foisting things on people doesn't work - they need to find their way to it.

I'd love to exercise.

My medication, you know, that is kind of essential to carrying on living, has terrible weakening side effects. If I stopped taking it I would be strong enough to exercise but as I would very likely soon drop dead, I think it might turn out counterproductive.

So...

Unfortunately, I very soon find it hard to breathe, my eyesight starts going black and my legs start giving way from walking twelve foot to the toilet for a piss so why don't you shove your self righteous judgement where the sun doesn't shine.

Oh, hang on, you haven't got such a place because the sun clearly shines out of your fucking arse.

I agree with most of you but unfortunately the average person living in a developed country now naturally gets minimal exercise (compared to even my parents generation where people walked or cycled to work which was often a physical job, did the same for leisure activites, had far fewer labour saving devices in the home, etc etc) so even if they don't like or feel like exercising they will suffer for not doing so. This sucks for them and maybe those around them and of course has implications at population level in terms of health care budgets, etc. So it may not directly be the OPs business in these cases but it's all of our business to first and foremost take care of our own health and well being as well as we can and support policies and initiatives which encourage others to do the same.