To not get why people refuse to exercise?

[JumpingJacky]

Exercise near enough saved my life, literally, and I am evangelical about it but still people make so many excuses as to why they can’t do just a small amount, and don’t realise that they are suffering for it!

I have a relative who suffers from back pain. He spends a large majority of his day sitting. I have suggested various low impact exercises that I know through experience will help but he won’t do them while continuing whingeing and moaning about being in pain!

A friend who is overweight complains that she has pain in her knees and ankles and is finding walking hard which is stopping her doing stuff. I know weight loss is hard so I suggest she joins the gym (she can afford it and has time) to use the low impact machines to at least build some strength into her legs and get a bit fitter but she’s just not interested whilst continuing to whinge and moan!

I get it that exercise is hard and can make you uncomfortable and sweaty but for the benefits to your body that’s a small price to pay surely?

It's none of your business, though.

Unless they're actually asking for advice, just keep quiet.

Oh, and there's nothing worse than people being all "evangelical" about stuff

I don’t think it’s quite so black and white, although I do agree to an extent.

My mental health took a hammering during lockdown last year, I put on at least a stone and developed serious neck/back issues.

In the new year I started exercising again (mixture of weights and cardio) and most of those issues have disappeared. I do feel better when I exercise, physically and mentally.

Like anything in life, you’ve got to want to do it for yourself. If I’d read this post last year I’d have had a very different reaction! Plus, there are loads of reasons why some people can’t/won’t exercise.

There are many reasons, but for a lot of people, they simply don't want to do it, or they lack the willpower to do something they dislike regularly, especially when they believe it will take what feels like a long time to see results. It's difficult to break bad habits.

There are things I know I should do. I could do them, but they require hard work, and I just don't feel like it! I'll start when I'm ready. If someone else comes along and tells me I should do it, however, I'll probably be annoyed, even if it's something I already know I should be doing.

It is frustrating, though, when someone complains about a situation that you feel certain they could improve.

I think you'll get pasted OP, but I do agree with you, and I say that as someone who doesn't love exercise and knows they should do more.

My mum is mid-70s and does like a good moan about how her body is "falling apart" BUT to her credit she is extremely diligent about using exercise to treat various aliments (I've lost track over the years but frozen shoulder, back pain and some issue with her foot that was making walking painful spring to mind). She follows exercise plans from physios etc carefully and thoroughly and invariably gets excellent results, which have enabled her to avoid more drastic interventions and/or long term loss of mobility.

I do admire her for it - I think many of us want quick fix solutions and exercise is a long term commitment. And I think some people just enjoy it more for the sake of it, which must make it easier to sustain.

Completely agree OP.

I would never, ever preach or even question somebody about why they don't exercise. It's rude. It doesn't stop me wondering though.

There were many periods of my life where I had very little time at all and there are other good reasons like lack of childcare, money or disability. Of course. But I also know several people who don't have those barriers and they still don't exercise but laugh about it in a rueful 'what am I like?' way. I am thinking inside 'Just do it!'

I find it childish that people behave as if exercise is something a teacher is making you do, like awful homework and if you don't do it it's because you are fun or relaxed, not an uptight goody goody. Exercise is for YOU!!!! Not because the doctor tells you, or a magazine, or a celebrity. It's so that YOU will feel 10 times better.

The first month is terribly hard.

I left my partner at Christmas. Come March, I still had a lot of anger to burn off, and did what I christened '30 days of fitness' - which basically meant I jogged/walked 5k/day (I'm BMI 40, so there was more walking than jogging - and I got to BMI 40 in the first lockdown when taking time out from the partner I left, and a break from the kids for an hour a day to walk)

The first week of that 30 days was so, SO hard. Getting up dropping the kids, and then going for my run.

But now, a month later, I'm actually chomping at the bit to get out. I've knocked the running down to 3* a week (I'm on 30 days of fatness now :) so concentrating on diet) which is actually giving me better performance gains, but I literally can't stop myself going for a walk the other days. Where previously I would take any excuse to skip it that day, now I'll take any excuse to have the walk!

But you need the will, and you need to get over that initial hump, and if you have other things going on in your life (eg. Ex partner, who I hadn't realised was taking so much mental resource until I left), it's very, very hard to do .

I think there are many reasons why people don't exercise, and I'd never dream of chivvying someone into starting if they hadn't expressed a desire to do so.

But I know lots of people who say to me, "Oh I must join your class, I really need to start exercising" (I've been running zoom exercise classes for friends for free. And yes I am qualified) but then they do absolutely nothing about it. I don't nag them, I don't ask them why not. They offer this information without any encouragement. But I'd be lying if I didn't say that it makes me think just that little bit less of them.

You are right of course but there is really no point giving advice about these things. People know that exercise is good for them but if they don’t like it and don’t want to do it they are unlikely to listen to you (and will probably feel irritated). You can’t change people and you might lose friends trying.

Do enough walking and other exercise at work.

I always hated PE and I’ve never been very athletic

I get enough exercise at work and that’s my lot. I have no interest in lifting weights or stretching my body out.

Exercise is great fun, I struggle to understand why more people don’t do it.

What if someone came over to your house and said you didn't have very good taste in décor... or you weren't a big reader... or up to date with current affairs? Or your cooking was shite? Or your partner is a bit minging? Or you sex life a bit vanilla? Or your accent a bit annoying? Or you say "haitch" and not "aitch"? Or you job's a bit shit? Or your kids aren't pleasant to be around? Or you're so busy jumping around the place, people think you're boring as fuck? All these things are easy enough to change! Sort yourself out!

Not nice, is it?

My 16yo DD has got really into working out and I find her wanging on about thoroughly tedious and irritating...if she started nagging me and telling me what I should and should be doing in the way of exercise she'd get short shrift.

I've started walking more this year for the sake of my mental and physical health, but that aside exercise bores me shitless.

I think it’s hard to know just how hard it is to be extremely overweight and how challenging it can be. What might look like a short walk to you can look to some people as unachievable as climbing a mountain. Also when you are in a rut it’s really hard to get out of. Knees, joints etc al suffer and people laugh at you as well which isn’t exactly great for self esteem.

I’m really overweight and did a 15 mile charity walk and it was hard.

@Cinnamon12345

Exercise is great fun, I struggle to understand why more people don’t do it.

It’s fun for you. Not everyone likes the same thing.

Is that really hard to understand?

@Frymetothemoon

I exercise only because I know I have to, but I HATE IT with a vengeance. Is that good enough for you?

Same, @Frymetothemoon. I know I have to but I hate every second of it. I don’t look forward to it, I don’t enjoy doing it and I don’t feel good when I’m finished. If I thought I could stop without ballooning up or suffering health consequences as I age, I absolutely would.

I hate exercise. I wish I enjoyed it but I dont. Makes deciding to do it hard. Takes up too much time too! It's not like it's just something that takes 5 minutes

Chronic back pain sufferer. Joint pain sufferer. 20+ years. Water/fluid/Edema sufferer knees and legs. Cycle 5/6 days a week. 20k each time. Exercises aerobics 5/6 days per week also. I am in agony. The pain is relentless. I’m so sick of people telling me to build up my stomach muscles your back pain will be cured, don’t you know?? Everyone has an opinion on what I’m doing/not doing or doing it right/wrong or not doing the proper thing. I’m sick of people preaching to me. I look fat. I am heavy. I am miserable. I cannot stand people like you pontificating.

Is this unsolicited advice you are offering?
That rarely gets a good response

But I also know several people who don't have those barriers and they still don't exercise but laugh about it in a rueful 'what am I like?' way. I am thinking inside 'Just do it!'

You don't really know what barriers people have though.

Everyone in my family/ friends circles knows I'm type 1 diabetic but the only person who knows how challenging something simple like going out for a walk can be on a bad day is my wife, because she has a ringside seat.

Plenty of people struggle with their mental health to the point of it being a win if they can just get out of bed, for another example. Many will keep that very private and find it more comfortable to fake a breezy attitude that they just don't fancy exercising.

You just never know.

I have had a chronic joint condition all my life that went undiagnosed until I was 30.
I was sneered at for being "whingy" in school because PE was more painful for me then other people but I wasn't believed and was considered lazy.
The joint condition and more recent health problems have left me with very few pain free days.
Stretching and exercise will and do help when I can do them, but a lot of days it would make things worse and I really need to be very careful and controlled about what I do.
Paying for physio led yoga/pilates classes rather than any class in a sports center for example.
So unqualified people suggesting what helped them or being impatient about restrictions on my life get ditched now.
Also, unless you never complain about something you don't help yourself with your being a massive hypocrite!
The hours of my life I spent listening to women talk about useless men they should have ditched on a second date would have me looking like wonder woman if they'd been spent on exercise......

I exercise 6 times a week, it's a huge part of my life, but I really enjoy it. Many people don't enjoy it, so they don't - that's their prerogative. I shouldn't drink so much wine, I know it's bad for me and all the reasons I should cut back, but I choose not to. I'm a grown up and capable of weighing up the pros and cons.

I would treat you similar to vegans/vegetarians who always preach about their views.

I would be fairly annoyed and would ask you to mind your own business. Unless asked, I wouldn't want any advice (on any subject btw)

OK - I've got a good friend who's a stroke recoverer and does Pilates every day and once a week with Pilates instructor to help her recovery. She did Pilates before anyway but...

She doesn't like exercising or diets (who does?) has a very stressful long hours job but she literally can't do certain exercising (e.g. cardio etc) due to her stroke recovery. Also told me she can't do saunas etc.

I'm a bit re the above but I'm not a doctor so I leave her to it.

I know certain exercises do help certain health conditions but really preaching to these people and being evangelical about it is not the way to approach things with them.