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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what it is about “no overnight stays till 17 May” that is so hard to understand?

821 replies

HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 16:22

So many colleagues and acquaintances merrily talking today about plans to go and stay with relatives for the bank holiday. Nobody has any shame. We’re waiting till the 17th. Does nobody care any more?

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 23:13

@TheKeatingFive

If scientists and medical advisers - people who know a great deal more than me about viruses and pandemics- think these restrictions are the best way of slowing the spread then who am I to think I know better?

What about the immense societal, personal and economic costs of lockdown? Scientists and medical advisors are only looking at the situation from one angle. The costs of lockdown have never been comprehensively analysed and this is a major blind spot. It’ll come back to bite us all soon enough.

Two and a bit more weeks are unlikely to make a difference to those aspects.
OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 29/04/2021 23:14

Two and a bit more weeks are unlikely to make a difference to those aspects.

How the hell do you know if people are at their very limit?

Mehoooole · 29/04/2021 23:14

I'm sure some people do care about the rules. I don't.

chelle862 · 29/04/2021 23:15

I went on holiday last week (200 miles away) and stayed in a hotel! It was fabulous 😁

Scottishskifun · 29/04/2021 23:19

Covid doesn't magically go away because it hits the 17th of May and there are large parts of the country where the rates are already very low already lower than what other areas will get to by the 17th.

I don't judge anyone for it, its their choice as long as they factor in potential risk and ways to reduce it.
If I could go stay with my parents before the 17th then I would but my DH and DM job means they have to be seen religiously following the rules!

This pandemic really has brought out the worst in some people.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 23:20

@TheKeatingFive

Two and a bit more weeks are unlikely to make a difference to those aspects.

How the hell do you know if people are at their very limit?

Are you suggesting that society is going to crumble because people don’t stay with their inlaws this weekend?

The impact on a few individuals is not really relevant.

OP posts:
Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 23:21

@chelle862

I went on holiday last week (200 miles away) and stayed in a hotel! It was fabulous 😁
And completely legal. What’s your point?
OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 29/04/2021 23:22

Are you suggesting that society is going to crumble because people don’t stay with their inlaws this weekend?

Er, no. I referenced personal cost in my post.

The impact on a few individuals is not really relevant

It is to them.

Original poster
HaveringWavering · 29/04/2021 23:24

@TheKeatingFive

Are you suggesting that society is going to crumble because people don’t stay with their inlaws this weekend?

Er, no. I referenced personal cost in my post.

The impact on a few individuals is not really relevant

It is to them.

Unfortunate, but the point of the rules is to limit the risk of devastating effects for other individuals.
OP posts:
spittycup · 29/04/2021 23:31

@Blakey24

Sadly people don’t care anymore. But the same people will moan if we had to tighten restrictions again!

"People who don't agree with restrictions would be unhappy with more restrictions".

Makes sense, doesn't it? We've had enough and

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/04/2021 23:33

FFS, this again.

People have been restricted social for a year. In my area there's been 2 cases of COVID in the last week. Most of the country are vaccinated. Yes there are rules but if they don't make particular sense and literally no harm comes to anyone by breaking them this it's hardly a big deal. Otherwise it's just blindly following rules that no one will ever catch you breaking, for the sake of it.

I did LOL at "have they no shame". Are you always so melodramatic?

TheKeatingFive · 29/04/2021 23:33

Unfortunate, but the point of the rules is to limit the risk of devastating effects for other individuals.

And as they’ve been largely limited by other means, people are priotising themselves. You only rule by consent. It’s vanishing fast.

FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop · 29/04/2021 23:37

@80sMum

I think we're at a similar stage to where we were last August, where Covid transmission is low, cases are falling and deaths from Covid are close to none. Under those circumstances, there is a collective feeling that "it's over".

Last summer, the government fell for it as well and initiated the (with hindsight, idiotic) "eat out to help out" scheme. This year, they are rightfully being a lot more cautious with the guidelines. But people are doing as they did then and "following their instincts", to coin a phrase.

Except 35 million people have been vaccinated this time round
spittycup · 29/04/2021 23:44

@HaveringWavering

Honestly, the rules just drag out the pedants in society. A few days will not make a jot of difference.

The hospitality industry is haemorrhaging money. Every single day of not allowing pubs to be at full capacity indoors makes a difference to people’s businesses. Do you really think that the Government would be drawing this out if they didn’t believe that there were compelling health reasons to do so?

They draw it out to appease over anxious people...

Jamboree01 · 30/04/2021 00:00

Amen to that

Blimeypinkers · 30/04/2021 00:20

@joystir59

I've worked throughout the pandemic. I think those of us who've been out in the real world exposed to constant risk are less scared than those who've locked themselves away religiously.
100% these people are getting themselves all worked up. Ive worked with the public throughout and as far as i know have not caught it. Agree that it seems like some people just want to live in lockdown forever.....zzzzzzzz
DdraigGoch · 30/04/2021 00:28

I'm single so it was perfectly legal for my parents to visit last weekend. As it happens all of use received our first doses more than a month ago and my town has had so few cases recently that it has been white on the MSOA map for more than a month.

Pugdogmom · 30/04/2021 00:43

I followed the rules pretty much to the letter until 4 weeks ago. Now I am seeing my daughters and grandchildren indoors. We have all been vaccinated, but still not seeing friends yet.

Ooo I broke the rules before that because I travelled outside my area to visit Costco.

The biggest issue with the 2nd wave was because flights and travellers were still allowed into the UK with zero checks till recently.

Snoozer11 · 30/04/2021 03:03

People can care about the rules and still make a decision to not follow them.

I have largely followed all the rules since last March, although I'm sure I've probably broken them a couple of times with the constant changes.

I would not dream of judging people for visiting their family. Especially at this stage when so many have been vaccinated, have antibodies and the prevalence is so low.

As an adult, you should be able to make an informed decision for yourself, instead of blindly doing as the government says.

Are you one of those people who met up with older relatives over Christmas, because you were "allowed", or did you take a responsible approach?

Jamboree01 · 30/04/2021 03:17

People for the large part did what they were told. This is BS

Did you eat out to help out? Did you honour the first set of rules... what are the next set of rules... carrot and stick.

Elizabeth I shut theatres down sporadically to keep her subjects under control. There are lessons to be learned. And we haven’t learnt them yet.

tropicalwaterdiver · 30/04/2021 04:24

The rules should make sense to follow them. And majority of adults are capable of making their own judgement rather than blindly follow the rules when PM doesn't follow the rules (and has no shame).
I started using face masks in public places since last March when WHO and our government insisted that masks didn't protect us from respiratory virus (!!!). Turned out their rules were wrong back then.

GiveMeTulipsfromAmsterdam · 30/04/2021 04:57

@FrangipaniDeLaSqueegeeMop

FFS, this again.

People have been restricted social for a year. In my area there's been 2 cases of COVID in the last week. Most of the country are vaccinated. Yes there are rules but if they don't make particular sense and literally no harm comes to anyone by breaking them this it's hardly a big deal. Otherwise it's just blindly following rules that no one will ever catch you breaking, for the sake of it.

I did LOL at "have they no shame". Are you always so melodramatic?

Reading this thread it is apparent that some just follow rules and get quite melodramatic at others who don't. The experiments conducted years ago where people are asked to follow instructions without thought seem odd assuming people can use logical thinking. However, I understand now. Makes one think.
RichardMarxisinnocent · 30/04/2021 07:08

@Eilethya

Does this crazy lack of critical thinking and blind following of authority remind anybody of The Milgram Experiment but on a national scale?

I can't wait to read the reports on social behaviour in 20 years time Grin

Again, please stop with the insults towards people who are following the rules. We're not all lacking in critical thinking and just blindly following the rules. Just like people who are not following rules aren't stupid and selfish and in need of shaming. You get on with doing what is right for you, and others get on with doing what's right for them.
Bluesheep8 · 30/04/2021 07:16

I'm waiting until after the 17th for an overnight stay. My wider family and I have followed the rules/laws to the letter since the start and I'm not about to stop now.

Toty · 30/04/2021 07:20

It's all very well saying cases are low, people are vaccinated etc (I'm late 40's, work out of the home and not yet vaccinated though) but it's not just about making others ill. My ds has had one whole week in school since December last year, 1 fucking week and is now self isolating and once again missing out on life because 2 parents of his peers thought a sleepover was fine. He is one of 20 kids now having to self isolate because of that. He burst into tears as he had to miss out on a sports event he'd been training hard for and is once again home alone all day schooling himself. Until the government remove the the need to self isolate children every 5 minutes we all need to do our bit, these kids have lost out on so much to protect adults, we bloody owe it to them to do what we can to ensure they stay in school as far as I'm concerned, this is an entire generation being thrown to the dogs so adults can go out and get pissed.