To be annoyed at pregnant friends

[Darkangel2]

I am just needing a place to vent.

I am pregnant (32 weeks) at the same time as a few friends, who all are on different levels of the spectrum when it comes to approach to covid and to decision making for their babies.

One couple wants to meet in a park in the middle of nowhere, my husband said that it needs to be close to facilities as I need to use the bathroom every 1.5 hours or so, and then said I can just wee in the bushes, and they refuse to come over to our garden as they refuse to go to an outdoor seated restaurant because it's too busy (IMO massive generalisation of all restaurants). Because we have met friends at these type of venues they now refuse to see us up until the point of their child being born (September FGS).

Another is even more ridiculous, the women in a chat group was discussing who was going down the oral route or injection route of giving meds/necessary checks to their newborns i.e. vit K.. I was here thinking "please, if you say oral route please give a medically sound reason as to why" and obviously the reason they came back with was 'cos I can't help but feel guilty about hurting the baby with an injection'. I literally almost lost it, luckily it was on WhatsApp. For information purposes to those who haven't had a baby, the main reason I'd go down the injection route is due to 1) the long and precise process to follow of the oral route and 2) the much reduced efficacy of the oral route.

AIBU for being worked up about both things? Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones firing up but I can't help but literally be so annoyed about it!!

I don't really understand the part about the vit k vaccine. Why are you upset that they are going to have it administered orally instead of the injection? Who cares?

If you are going to be this invested and judgemental about other people's decisions regarding their children then you are going to end up with no friends. Everyone parents differently and makes different choices. Unless they are doing something very extreme that massively clashes with your core values then it's really not worth worrying about at all.

Please be careful that you don't turn into one of "those" mums.

@DappledThings yeah, reading facebook posts is not proof of a link between choice on vit k method and future vaccination. You’d need a study for that. Which you don’t have.
It’s not your business in that it’s not your child, do you go around asking any potential friends for proof of their vaccine schedule?! If not then how do you know what they have done?

They sound a bit precious and annoying TBH. I'd take a step back, personally and wouldn't exactly miss their company if they are going to be painful about everything.

I think you're getting a slightly hard time on here.

I'd be annoyed if I was a wee-machine and my friends wanted to go to a field in the middle of nowhere too, that's not helpful (but yes, why is your DH saying you need the toilet?).

The vit K thing, you've got to let it roll over you, because situations like that will occur at least 200 times in your first year of parenting. Are you making an informed choice that works for you & your child? Excellent. Stick with that.

I was obsessive about car seat safety, but it applied to my children only if I wanted any friends.

I don’t even remember how I gave vit k 😂

To be honest I just asked DH if DC3 even had it as I have no recollection of it! He’s only 2 😂

wow, so much anger and fury over nothing.

YABU and I'm pregnant. Lots of pregnant people are anxious about covid at the moment, there was new research released last week that was really worrying and I'm definitely planning on being extra cautious now I'm in my third trimester. If you feel comfortable meeting in restaurants then that's great, but I don't think it's crazy that your friend doesn't want to and you should respect their choice.

I understand the frustration when other people are doing things differently to you. I've raised my eyebrows at a few things people have said in the WhatsApp/FB groups I'm in...but I recognise that everyone has different views on how they want to do things when it comes to pregnancy and babies. It's none of your business what other people are doing.

Yabu and have alot to learn about parenting lol

I have said YABU, not because I think your standpoint is wrong but because I think it is wrong to judge others standpoints. Pregnancy is a very anxious time at the best of times let alone during a global pandemic. We should all just support each other and respect peoples wishes.

You need to respect other people’s choices op. Even if they wouldn’t be your own. If the meeting up suggestions don’t work for you then don’t meet up but you can’t be all judgey and disrespectful because people make different choices to you.

Why do you care about your pregnant friends' choices this much? They are personal choices and they aren't making these decisions for you or your baby.

I just realised I can't remember how my DD received her vitamin K. I just wanted to ensure they gave it to her. My DD is 2.5 years old.

Anyway OP, apart from them being over anxious with Covid you are being judgemental and it's going to be a long road to proper adulthood for your children.

Let other parents do what they like to their children as long as it isn't obviously abusive and get on with your own life. Oh and if you are this anxious you are going to have a nightmare when your child goes to childcare and school.

You don't sound a very good friend tbh, Everything must be on your terms or the way you would do it or You get 'annoyed' or 'literally almost lose it'.

You sound very intense and I wouldn't be surprised when September comes if they carry on avoiding You.

Sounds more like cases of PFB to me...

[quote OwlBeThere]@DappledThings yeah, reading facebook posts is not proof of a link between choice on vit k method and future vaccination. You’d need a study for that. Which you don’t have.
It’s not your business in that it’s not your child, do you go around asking any potential friends for proof of their vaccine schedule?! If not then how do you know what they have done?[/quote]
Well of course it's not real evidence. It's my opinion. I was being somewhat tongue in cheek there. Obviously didn't come across.

But it is still my opinion that there's a strong correlation and I'm happy to hold it! And vaccination has fairly often come up in conversation with friends. I'm also happy to assume everyone is sensible and followed the schedule unless they say otherwise. Or signal it via the medium of amber beads

@TheOneWithTheBigNose at least I have the excuse of my kids being in their late teens/early twenties 😂😂😂

Your husband sounds controlling and you do too a bit. Fair enough expecting anyone to pee in a bush, pregnant or not, is ridiculous. You are being unreasonable with the rest of it.
So you're happy to go to a restaurant, maybe they're not. Maybe they've lost babies in the past and are being super protective. Maybe you're OK with being out and about but maybe they're not.

YABVU but I was the same when pregnant and got mad about the smallest thing.

Another one who doesn't understand why your husband is saying where /how often you should go to the toilet. That's really odd!!

People do get weirdly precious about things but I agree with your irritation re. the Vit K jab.

I spent my entire pregnancies on Clexane because of a thrombophilic condition, so I absolutely wanted my babies to have their vit K jab - I also used to work in blood labs, so am aware of the risks of not having it.

OTOH, I didn't want my brand new shiny baby jabbed with the BCG on day 1 of being in the world - I remember my own BCG and that was not happening! he has had all other jabs, but we weren't in a high TB risk area so it was offered but no issue when I refused it.

I did also take my anti D jab because of being Rh D negative - no point in refusing that either, didn't want to jeopardise any future pregnancies unnecessarily!

Put it down to 3rd grumpiness/hormones! Their choices are their own.

3rd trimester*

Yanbu about being expected to wee in a bush. Yabu about the vit k. This doesn't affect you or the baby in any way. It is simply an option like epidural vs no epidural or injection vs physiological third stage of labour. It is definitely not a big issue, in fact I have 2 dc and until this thread I had totally forgotten vit k was even a thing.

Yabvu and if you were my friend and judged my choices in pregnancy then you wouldnt be my friend much longer.

Massive over reaction on your part. You need to step back and mind your own business. They sound anxious, leave them alone. I walk my dog in the woods and always need a wee (weak bladder since baby no 2!) I just go behind a tree! Bring a changing mat to change baby on the grass, if theres no toilet facilities.