Perimenopause: why did I not know I’d feel this shit?

[CaptainAwkward]

Christ I’m tired. It feels exactly like the bone deep aching fatigue of my early pregnancies (definitely not up the duff before anyone asks!)

Why isn’t common knowledge how rubbish it can be? Well, it’s obviously the patriarchal medical/social model that dismisses ‘women’s problems’.
I’ve got the GP in a couple of weeks who has my blood results and will hopefully prescribe HRT.

Any tips?

I'm 49, peri I'm sure, horrendous periods, itching skin, mood swings. As my periods are still regular my gp prescribed the pill until I can have my fibroid scanned. 2 weeks in and my mood is so much more stable, sleeping better, ovulation pain and other gut symptoms gone. Bliss! Am wondering how to go from this to hrt...

The itching is truly terrible. Has anyone else got lots of mouth ulcers? I seem to have them all the time in different places in my mouth. Dentist (approximately 16 years old, or so it seems to me) says it’s nothing sinister, ‘probably just hormones.’

Lovely.

This is very interesting. I'm late 40s and really suffering with having a really heavy but short period. It's a nightmare on a day I'm working. My doctor suggested the pill, which I definitely don't want. She then prescribed tranexamic acid and I took it this month but it didn't seem to make any difference.

Can I just say that dry eyes, itchy skin, anxiety, insomnia, mood swings and importantly heart changes can all be classic symptoms of overactive thyroid. Please get a blood test to be safe as it's a serious condition.

Oh and menstrual changes!

I have had the mirena for the last 10 years, this one is overdue a change, getting another put in, will this see me past the menopause do you think, I am 49 ?

Omg this is making sense. I'm only 41 but my periods have become so light after years of being heavy. On/off tiredness. So warm at night. Hot then cold during the day. Incredibly sore elbows. Itching lady parts. Sadly my bloods were normal but may go back and push

If you have extreme fatigue you should definitely push to have your iron levels tested. I’ve had extreme fatigue, issues with sleeps and hair loss and thinning and specifically asked for iron tests. Mostly because of what I’ve read on Mumsnet. Results have just come back and my ferritin levels are very low. No anaemia so it doesn’t show on ‘standard’ tests. Hormones all normal. I’m 45.

I suffered terribly for ages, my doctor begged me not to have HRT because apparently when you come off it the symptoms are much worse and you are just delaying. I tried some homeopathic stuff with some success but the thing that worked for me was a drug call Abufene which you can buy over the counter in France - www.soin-et-nature.com/en/menopause/9277-abufene-400-mg-menopause.html

The information is in English but I have not found it in the UK so would buy it online once I was back in the UK. This literally saved my life and I took it for years with a reducing dose, no hormones so no risk of breast cancer of which I have family history.

I would urge anyone on HRT to have frequent mammograms as the link to breast cancer is quite bad.

In my experience the peri menopause is actually much worse than actual menopause. During peri menopause I flooded every month for about 10 days and inevitably became anaemic and was so very exhausted. Once menopause finally came and periods finally stopped I was just so grateful not to flood. The hot flushes felt like a small price to pay for no more flooding. It all went on for about 4 years though. No one tells you that and it comes as a shock.

It's fucking barbaric. How long does this shit last?

The symptoms of menopause are so wide ranging that Dr's will put everything down to peri...do however ask for blood tests, lft, kidney, iron etc if symptoms are extreme just to rule out anything else.

My GP fobbed me for years with "yoga, eat well, it natural" and thankfully a locum decided to do blood tests which highlighted an underlying condition.

HRT is definitely worth trying

@CaptainAwkward

I’m having PMT similar to when I was a teen. Fucking horrendous. I read somewhere that really, during the few days of PMT is when women act truthfully with their emotions and behave socially more ‘like men’. Those pre period days are when we are truly ourselves and the rest of the month we go back to the socialised ‘niceness’ that as women and girls we’re expected to show.

My daughter suggested last month I might be bipolar as the pre menstrual mood swings have gotten so bad

In the middle of tests at the moment but have struggled for 16 months with:
Night sweats
Aching knee and hip joints
Upper body back pain
Extreme hair loss
Nosebleeds
Fogginess and poor memory
More recently, vaginal itching
Weight gain especially around middle
Lethargy
Insomnia

Life isn't great I have to admit.

Having bloods re done after 2 abnormalities were flagged up (thyroid and something 'osteo..') so GP said do again a month from now. I have really heavy blood loss and irregular periods for the last few years so having a scan for fibroids, but aside from this is my long list of other symptoms.

I just want to feel like me again 😣

@Molly499

I suffered terribly for ages, my doctor begged me not to have HRT because apparently when you come off it the symptoms are much worse and you are just delaying. I tried some homeopathic stuff with some success but the thing that worked for me was a drug call Abufene which you can buy over the counter in France - www.soin-et-nature.com/en/menopause/9277-abufene-400-mg-menopause.html

The information is in English but I have not found it in the UK so would buy it online once I was back in the UK. This literally saved my life and I took it for years with a reducing dose, no hormones so no risk of breast cancer of which I have family history.

I would urge anyone on HRT to have frequent mammograms as the link to breast cancer is quite bad.

Whilst it is definitely a good idea to get regular mammograms whilst on hrt along with examining yourself, you are more at risk of breast cancer if you are over weight. This advice was from the breast clinic nurse when I went for my last test and is in lots of medical papers.

I knew nothing about perimenopause until a hairdresser mentioned I was losing hair and I was ‘probably going through menopause’ - at 39 I didn’t think it was likely at first (and was quite offended), but not so sure after reading more.

Given that the symptoms and age it starts vary so much, how on earth do you know I’ve got terrible anxiety (but then I’ve struggled with it in various forms my whole life and there are some stressful things in my life right now), palpitations (but heart problems run in my family), itching (but I do have allergies so maybe a development of that) and the wonderful hair loss (see anxiety) - how do you KNOW? No period changes here as yet.

It’s amazing how little it’s spoken about other than cliches about hot flushes. I read a lot, think I’m fairly well informed, but until recently I thought it was something annoying and maybe a bit uncomfortable that happened for a year or so in your fifties. Seems it’s a bit more than that...

A new and exciting development for me is adrenaline surges while asleep, multiple times a night - so I wake up terrified and feel like my feet are going to burst. Very strange indeed

@BlackAlys I'd second the PP who suggested getting iron and ferritin (iron store) levels checked. The hair loss could be down to low ferritin due to the heavy periods. It also makes you tired and grumpy. Ferritin levels don't have to be clinically low to make you feel like crap either, every time I reduce the iron supplements, I start moulting like a cat and mine are sub-clinical. Another thread suggested The Iron Protocol on Facebook and Instagram, it had a list of symptoms of low iron/ferritin.

Has anyone else had to cut all the labels out of their collars because of the fucking itching they suddenly cause?

OMG YES FFS I actually thought I was going a bit mad. Thankyou for posting this...

I was told i was perimenopausal for years (periods still totally regular) .. turns out (after much pushing) I needed vitamin D... my many 'chronic fatigue' symptoms have dissipated..

I honestly think GP's fob you off

..

I'm ahead of the game on this one thing at least, I've always cut the labels out of everything.
Been on contraceptive implant for years so periods are a random occurrence at best anyway. But yes to rage, night sweats, brain fog, spots AND dry skin, joint pain (possible arthritis tho), insomnia etc etc...

I sympathise with each and every one of you.
Please take all the help you can.
I struggled through my forties with the symptoms you have.

The light at the end of the tunnel - two weeks before my 50 birthday, it all stopped. No more mood swings, periods, itching, pain.

All I can say is my 50s were much easier than my 40s because I was out the other side.
It does get better - but I agree there is not a lot of info out there about what to expect.

I didn't take HRT - I did take herbal supplements - Menopace - which helped with flushes etc., and mood swings.

I can remember not going out for days, because I couldn't leave the bathroom, and the cramps etc., were horrendous.

Friends at the same age who did take HRT found they had all the symptoms when they stopped the HRT - it just seemed to delay it. So, if you go down that path, and I don't blame you, make sure it suits you long term.

Can symptoms worsen around ovulation? I had a great weekend and then have spent the last few days exhausted, with my head on my desk (WFH) wondering what the point of it all is (there may be no hope once I've watched the final episode of Line of Duty on Sunday ).
I seem to waver between the normal easygoing me and someone full of rage. I haven't had any menstrual changes yet (I'm mid 40s) but can totally identify with lethargy, lack of motivation, hair loss, excruciating joint pain.

Apparently I cannot have HRT due to having a stroke in my younger years. The Doc put me on a herbal patch which didn’t seem to make any difference.

I’m angry, I’m depressed (to the point feeling recently I have no purpose in being here) and I hate brain fog. I sometimes drink too much to compensate for feeling sore/stiff/upset. Generally I think it works until someone in the family says I’m forgetful because I had two drinks, then the anger/frustration kicks in that nothing I do seems to be right.

I’m permanently bloated, the same as I would just prior to my period. Tops ride up, the top button on pants and shorts I hold together with a hair band over the button and threaded through the buttonhole on the other side.

I refuse to go up a size as I’m not consuming more than I was before and I lead an active life.

My anger has been useful recently as a long term neighbour telephoned to complain about an issue that doesn’t exist other than being an eyesore on our property. So he received the benefit of my opinion and then later, when he was caught snooping about on our property with camera, I reported him to the police.

So I will go back to the Doc again and see what can be done. It’s not a healthy way mentally to live.

So interesting! I feel very ‘covidy’ around ovulation time nowadays. Aching joints etc. Then suddenly improve. I’m 46 and still regular periods although shorter / less painful/ heavier