To think it’s totally wrong to board children in another country during a global pandemic *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[Totalbeach]

I live in a town with two boarding schools (junior and senior) and there’s another 3 - 18 school nearby. All are day as well as boarding. I assumed that they’d empty due to the pandemic but they are as packed as ever. As far as I understand, kids have always been able to fly home to parents as essential travel even during lockdowns etc, but many kids haven’t gone home for holidays due to quarantining restrictions either end. Pupils at the schools are largely from China but there are other nationalities too (including U.K. boarders of course).

AIBU to be totally shocked that even during a global pandemic families are willing to send their children overseas to live? I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral. And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place.

YABU It’s fine
YANBU It’s awful

@apooagnuandyou

Has anyone read the other thread where a poster is finding it very depressing they can't survive on a £30k+ salary without any help, but here TA earn enough to support an entire family (average salary £14k btw..) Yeah right.

What do you think most people in Britain do for careers that enables them to afford descent houses? Do you think everyone is on £100k salaries?

I can assure, they’re not!!!! Yet people can still afford descent houses....

Your genuine concern for these children's well-being is heart warming op.

I imagine the children are safer from covid in their self contained school, than they would be flying across the world?

I imagine that if some emergency were to arise, it would count as ‘essential travel’ for parent of child to travel to the other?

I don’t see why you’re so bothered really.

I briefly worked in a boarding school like this. Some kids were ok with it, some were clearly affected by it. I would dispute the parents' decision to send their kids there is always borne from wanting the best for their kids. For some it was indeed the case. For others it was very much a case of not having to deal with them on a daily basis and/or a way if showing off.

I’m baffled as to why people think these kids have been in boarding schools over lockdown enjoying the company and facilities and having a marvellous time. Boarding schools closed during lockdown. Obviously. These children were sent home. In many, many cases that meant isolating alone in hotels in their home countries (as children) before they were allowed to enter. That is part of the reason I find it so strange that their parents were happy to then send them back for round two and round three.

OP - I think the environment in their home countries and opportunities may be different from U.K. maybe it’s really competitive there (eg maybe kids there spend ages studying rather than extra curricular activities so they can keep up with the curriculum), maybe it’s not as easy to have an ordinary life there, maybe they have seen the huge rewards others have from an overseas education and want that for their kids.

Maybe they’re kids will be happy in the end or maybe not. I think kids are different and while it might be the right thing for some, it won’t be for others. 7 is pretty young, but some of the older kids might be fine.

YABU to keep calling it a “global pandemic”.

@HipsyOngeza

Your genuine concern for these children's well-being is heart warming op.

The world needs more people like this!

TableFlowerss

People in Britain can afford decent houses and live on a part-time, term-only job with no help? Wow, tell us where, we might consider moving there!

There's a big leap between a pro-rata salary earned by a TA and someone on a £100k.

Oh great, now the thread has moved on and it is 7 year olds who are sent across the globe by neglectful parents.

I think the absolutely vast majority of boarding pupils are teenagers. A huge number of them do weekly boarding (many have family or friends in the country).

In addition to an excellent education they also spend a large part of their free time outside, playing sports with their friends. There is almost no computer games, social media and phone time is limited.

Boarding schools closed during a chunk of the first term this year. The online provision was amazing and they front loaded academics so they could have more practical work (chemistry, biology, sports) which they are enjoying at the moment. I don’t know anyone who was alone in an hotel room in the UK. And coming back after distance learning many were able to quarantine at the school.

@BritWifeinUSA

YABU to keep calling it a “global pandemic”.

Actually no. You can have a pandemic that is just on several continents, as opposed to one that is global. I see why you’d think it’s tautology though.

@Totalbeach

I’m baffled as to why people think these kids have been in boarding schools over lockdown enjoying the company and facilities and having a marvellous time. Boarding schools closed during lockdown. Obviously. These children were sent home. In many, many cases that meant isolating alone in hotels in their home countries (as children) before they were allowed to enter. That is part of the reason I find it so strange that their parents were happy to then send them back for round two and round three.

I know that you're struggling to see past your own weirdly invested judgemental stance, but has it occurred to you that (regardless of whether parents should be permitted to choose how they want to educate their child without checking that it's all right with you first) the pupils at these schools are, all being well, settled and happy in them, and that all they have wanted during this whole horrendous process is what we all want - for life to return to some semblance of normality. And for them, that's being in school with their friends and going about their normal routine.

Can you clarify precisely what about this makes it immoral? Because that's quite a strong word to use. Assuming that you understand that immoral doesn't simply mean "things I don't agree with as an individual".

Actually no. You can have a pandemic that is just on several continents, as opposed to one that is global. I see why you’d think it’s tautology though.

It appears in fact to be generally regarded as tautology. Certainly, as a phrase it's overwhelmingly used by those who want to inject a bit of hyperbolic drama into their writing.

Oh great, now the thread has moved on and it is 7 year olds who are sent across the globe by neglectful parents
It was in the OP's first post "And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place"

Why weren't they shut like every other school, why didn't parents have to home school like every other parent?

But yes op, to leave kids in care in a other country during a pandemic would seem remiss even by parents of boarders standards.

The thing is, my sons can't really leave their current school because they are mid GCSEs. They are boarding in the UK, we don't live in the UK.

It would be much more problematic to their education to pull them out of school and attempt to find an alternative where we live than continue where they are. They spent some time at home doing Google Classroom then went back to boarding when schools opened (and had to quarantine).

Of course if you have any illuminating advice for Crown Servants with exam year kids that I haven't already had access too I'd find it very helpful.

'It would be much more problematic to their education to pull them out of school and attempt to find an alternative where we live than continue where they are.'

It has been 'problematic' for everyone having to wfh and homeschool. Live lessons are far from ideal. It is beyond belief that privileged kids have being allowed to continue in school as normal. Don't you have wifi? Why couldn't you have coped like the rest of us

why couldn’t you have coped like the rest of us?

Why should anyone only cope if they are able to find a solution that works better for their family? I think it is great if your children were allowed to stay in school Olaf.

And I say that as someone who did online learning with multiple children in a small flat without access to any outdoor space except public parks. Yes, it was really hard, and awful at time but we did the best of it. That doesn’t mean that I want everyone else to go through the same.

YABU.

I work in a boarding school which has stayed open for a minority of boarders throughout the pandemic. The vast majority went home to their families, but a few had to stay.

This is exceptional as it usually closes for holidays, but we understand that:

(a) some children can't go home! (Yes, the UK is letting them leave. But their home country might not be letting them enter. Or there may be no flights, or the quarantine rules in their countries are very strict. So just saying that the UK is allowing children to go home to their parents is only half the story.)

(b) some could go home, but would not be allowed back in the country again. We have a number of students who stayed as their country had been added to the Red List, and their parents preferred them to remain at school with their teachers and friends than be forced to do government hotel quarantine alone at a young age.

(c) some children live in different time zones. Our teachers have been running a full set of live online lessons - it's not really fair to expect a student whose parents live and work in Hong Kong to be up at 3am to attend a Drama class.

As for enjoying the facilities and having a marvellous time... well, it wasn't great fun for them when they all had to isolate in their solo dorms for 23 hours a day when they first arrived, so I'm not sure you why you don't want them going swimming in the school pool or doing a bit of exercise outdoors. They were not, of course, allowed off site.

OP it seems like your real issue is with sending students abroad for school in the first place, not with them staying open for a small number of international students who can't go home during the pandemic. What would you have forces/diplomatic families do then - move their children to a new school every year? And do you really begrudge people spending their own money on educating their children, if they can afford it?

I would not send my own kids to a boarding school or indeed a private school of any description. My values. My choice. Other people can do as they choose.

However I did go to a boarding school myself. It was a cheap, non prestigious, non selective one and the clientele was mainly forces families. They sent their kids to boarding school to give them some stability because otherwise they had to move schools and countries with every posting and sometimes live in war zones where they might be at risk due to their parents jobs.

In those circumstances I can see why a parent would choose a boarding school. Some other families were not forces but in a similar boat of having jobs that took them to places where their children would not be able to have a good education.

I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral.

In your privileged view of the world, in which there is decent state education and a degree of freedom to choose in a free world. Many families in other countries don’t have these opportunities and they see it as very moral parenting to give their children opportunities we take for granted in the UK. We have one of the world’s best education systems, and children here studying for A Levels gain a qualification that is recognised internationally.

It’s tough on young children, but the Chinese students I know have an extraordinary resilience and a work ethic second to none. And they are interested in the world.

'I think it is great if your children were allowed to stay in school Olaf'

Well of course it's great! Wouldn't we all have loved it if DC's education had continued uninterrupted. Thing is, we were reducing the spread of a deadly virus not accommodating the lifestyle of parents who bizarrely choose to live in a different country to their young dc.

Boarding schools, like hotels etc should have closed and they should have had online learning like everyone. Of course a few key worker's dc attended school but they didn't live there.

If I were a parent from India or Brazil, for example, I would far rather have my children in the UK at the moment. like evacuees I suppose (I know, don’t mention the war )

The reason day schools shut was that children were going home and mixing with their families every night and with their classmates every day and often travelling on public transport making perfect spreading conditions

In a boarding school they are just in a bubble. It can be locked down as a whole and have pretty much no outside contact (many teachers lived in at ours when I was a kid as house parents). If they have an outbreak it can be contained.
It's a different proposition in terms of infection risk.

@JaniieJones

Why weren't they shut like every other school, why didn't parents have to home school like every other parent?

But yes op, to leave kids in care in a other country during a pandemic would seem remiss even by parents of boarders standards.

This smacks of 'Waaa! I was hard done by having to home school, then EVERY parent should be!'

And obviously some parents of boarders don't find it remiss at all to have their kids an another country, even during a pandemic of a virus that by and large doesn't harm children, they were fine with it. I would be, too, if, as pointed out, my home country was unsafe.