To think it’s totally wrong to board children in another country during a global pandemic *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[Totalbeach]

I live in a town with two boarding schools (junior and senior) and there’s another 3 - 18 school nearby. All are day as well as boarding. I assumed that they’d empty due to the pandemic but they are as packed as ever. As far as I understand, kids have always been able to fly home to parents as essential travel even during lockdowns etc, but many kids haven’t gone home for holidays due to quarantining restrictions either end. Pupils at the schools are largely from China but there are other nationalities too (including U.K. boarders of course).

AIBU to be totally shocked that even during a global pandemic families are willing to send their children overseas to live? I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral. And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place.

YABU It’s fine
YANBU It’s awful

@Londonmummy66

DC board at schools like this - quite a few of their classmates are from Hong Kong - their parents feel that it is good for them to be anywhere but home given the political situation there at the moment.

True. I work at a school with boarding, (only at senior level); the overseas students greatly value their education and the experience of living in another country.

Wow! Judgmental CF of the year award goes to the OP.

What the hell does it have to do with you?

As a previous poster said, it’s a cultural thing. Have you read anything about Oscar winning director Chloe Zhao and her experiences of coming to board in the UK? The more Chinese children that are exposed to freedom of thought, the better. Also many Chinese children spend long periods of time away from their parents as parents need to live away from home to work. Not just the children of the elite. It’s complicated. Once you have lived there, or anywhere in Asia, you realise how lucky we are to be able to live with and parent our own children. I went to boarding school (not in the UK) and loved it, school can often be a more loving and supportive environment than home. Sadly. Think on all that before you judge.

I’m totally judgmental about people sending their children away to other countries even during a global pandemic when they can’t guarantee they can get to them or get them home. I’m not at all sorry about that no matter how many raw nerves I’ve hit.

I have a friend who works in a school like this. The parents are so wealthy that if the children were in their home country they would probably be looked after by nannies anyway. The children all managed to get home at the start of lockdown 1 - some of the parents sent their own transport - helicopters, private planes, chauffeur driven cars etc. On that basis the parent will always be able to get to their child - they'll just throw money at it like they usually do.

I think OP went to a boarding school and felt abandoned, hence her hysterical, silly reaction here.

Aren’t you the humanitarian fucking hero, what with your internet thread .

I’m totally with you OP but then I would never send my children away to boarding school. Pandemic or no pandemic. Hideous idea.

@swimlittlefishy

Did it ever occur to you that its none of your business?

Well with that view, 99% of AIBU threads wouldn't be posted

@minniemomo

Depends where you live. Some parents would have thought their kids were safer remaining at school in a country with good medical facilities and a government whose implemented lockdowns

this.

I know someone who's from Poland and has gone back to Poland to set up their own business with DH.

They have twins aged 12 and sent them to boarding school (partly at request of twins) but because they felt this would be safer doing it in UK (where twins were born and grew up) - parents returned to Poland when DC were approx 10. They have aunt and uncle in UK who they stay with at the moment in holidays if flights etc aren't going to Poland. With Covid 19 being quite bad in Poland they're happier for the twins to be in boarding school in UK.

@Poorlykitten

I’m totally with you OP but then I would never send my children away to boarding school. Pandemic or no pandemic. Hideous idea.

some kids love it some hate it.

Military families where parents move around a lot often no option but to send kids to boarding school

There are plenty of decent schools in China, but its well known that parents in China, and those who can afford it,like to send some of their children to the UK, for a more than better education, which includes learning about cultural differences too,. I would suggest that the children from China etc, are usually quite able to board in schools in the UK, they are usually very disciplined regarding education, and eager to progress all the time, and it would soon become evident,if they couldn't cope in the UK and being away from parents, but doubt this doesn't happen too much.

@swimlittlefishy

Did it ever occur to you that its none of your business?

I disagree with the OP but a contagious disease is everyone's business, it's sort of its point!

The “parents of children in boarding school are all evil cunts” thread has been done to death on here already.

From my observations of a large boarding school near me (Years 9-13), many of the overseas pupils couldn’t get home easily or couldn’t get back at various points in the last year so had time with guardians, or special quarantine arrangements meant they had to return with two weeks to spare. It seemed to be complicated and of course a constantly developing situation. So it wasn’t a case of “oh look, here comes a pandemic, let’s pack them off to Hogwarts on a one way ticket”, more a case of getting caught out by circumstances and not knowing how it was going to pan out, I imagine. Let’s face it, most of us have been caught out one way or another in the current situation.

well a pandemic means its everywhere so why not. one place is no safer than another.

@CleverCatty they don’t have to, they can move schools with the family. Not all military kids board.

You’re assuming their home environment is the same as ours.

As pp have said, these families may feel their children are safer during the pandemic. Or the circumstances in their home country may not be stable politically. If the chinese children are from Hong Kong, for example, or those areas of China where there is unrest or poverty.

In this country children always have access to school, healthcare, can exist in relative safety. It isn’t like that everywhere.

YABU.

For some people, it's board their kids or have no bloody job.

I roll my eyes any time I read the term 'global pandemic'. The 'global' is superfluous.

It wouldn’t be something I would be comfortable with, but for many families it’s the best and safest option. Some parents travel extensively for work and have unpredictable schedules. They simply can’t guarantee they will be at home each evening and boarding school is the best option. For others, it’s the cultural norm if you can afford it and seen as the best educational opportunity for their child. It’s one of those things that’s hard to understand unless you’re living within it. Totally alien to me, but for DH it was just part of life and he loved it. Long holidays at home and 24/7 with his friends the rest of the time. Best of both worlds he would say.

Granted, the pandemic changes the goal posts, but for most children who are used to be away, being in school is the best option. They are living in their isolated bubble and privately tested regularly from what I’ve heard from friends whose children board.

You are being ridiculous.

If the kids are happy and settled in a school, why should you move them. It's not the black plague, kids are at risk but it's a very low risk. They're at risk from flying in a plane too!

Also completely BU to assume there's a suitable school "near their home". Even parents in England have to send their kids to boarding school when the commute would be too far, or the parents don't have the luxury to a 9 to 5 job allowing "quality family time".

You judge these parents, they probably judge you for not giving enough opportunities to your child. Each to their own.

I disagree with the OP but a contagious disease is everyone's business, it's sort of its point!

Only if it's Covid-19, it seems. No other contagious diseases existed before or since.

Don't go abroad! There's a 'global pandemic' and you might learn about the whole world outside of the UK!

@Totalbeach

I’m totally judgmental about people sending their children away to other countries even during a global pandemic when they can’t guarantee they can get to them or get them home. I’m not at all sorry about that no matter how many raw nerves I’ve hit.

You know people can have an opinion and tell you how ridiculous you are even if you "haven't touched a nerve"

If nothing else, sending their kids abroad will ensure they are not as narrow-minded, in a little bubble unaware of any other world than their little life as you are.

I'm not a fan of boarding in general, OP, and certainly not for under-11s.

But actually children able to stay in boarding schools have had a pretty cushy time in the pandemic compared to other children. I have a friend who works in a boarding school and, throughout, the children have had minimal interruptions to their education, all their friends onsite, sports and other clubs ongoing and fantastic pastoral and other opportunities. The school she works at has essentially transformed itself into a big bubble cut off from the outside world with smaller "house" bubbles (within which the children are allowed to socialise) within the school. Symptomatic cases and their immediate contacts are immediately isolated within their accommodation (mostly separate bedrooms) until testing can be organised, usually the same day. Normal routines have been maintained and the children's mental and physical health is the school's priority. These children have had a level of support a lot of parents would dream of for their kids. The downside, of course, is being away from their parents. But that's a downside generally of boarding schools.

I think you would have a better case if CoVid actually affected children, but as it doesn’t why should their school life and prospects be ruined op?

A few reasons off the top of my head:

• There are few local good schools and/or those that are are oversubscribed, so they can't just walk in and get a place
• The parents live lives where they are moving around themselves so the child would not be able to go to one school all the time if they lived with them.
• No-one knows how long the pandemic will continue and how long regulations shall last. So they could remove their child, disrupt their education, and then have everything go back to normal for travel restrictions two months later.
• Maybe medical facilities are better where the school is, so if their child does get ill, they will get better treatment if they are at school