To think it’s totally wrong to board children in another country during a global pandemic *title edited by MNHQ at OP's request*

[Totalbeach]

I live in a town with two boarding schools (junior and senior) and there’s another 3 - 18 school nearby. All are day as well as boarding. I assumed that they’d empty due to the pandemic but they are as packed as ever. As far as I understand, kids have always been able to fly home to parents as essential travel even during lockdowns etc, but many kids haven’t gone home for holidays due to quarantining restrictions either end. Pupils at the schools are largely from China but there are other nationalities too (including U.K. boarders of course).

AIBU to be totally shocked that even during a global pandemic families are willing to send their children overseas to live? I think it’s actually neglectful to the point of being deeply immoral. And I’m quite surprised that it’s even legal to have children age 7+ boarding in another country in the first place.

YABU It’s fine
YANBU It’s awful

@Fonzitosty J
Jeez. this message couldnt have sounded more condescending if it tried...boarding does not equal to prestigious elite education, but certainly does equal ££££.

Thank you. Then I got resneered aT!

@EileenGC

No one in Britain needs to work abroad.

I'm going to disagree with you on that because my industry is based on working abroad, simply due to the fact that the UK doesn't pay high enough rates for people to be able to earn a full salary staying at home. We are all forced to work internationally if we want to feed our families. This is the reality of a lot of people in the sports and arts industries.

Sure, we could all quit our jobs and find a supermarket school hours, term time position like people on MN seem to have, but that's not going to help the economy, is it?

But it is a lifestyle choice that suits you and that’s fair enough but it isn’t for everyone.

@Kinlocrhum

Diplomatic service, Foreign Office, Armed Forces, Security Services etc are often posted overseas - it's not a choice!!

Of course it’s a choice. No one handcuffed and made to sign a contract to say they won’t ever leave a job. Surely people that have children thing these things through before they try to conceive and if they’re happy with it then great.

**If you go into the MN race to the bottom spirit, technically it's a CHOICE as they could chose something else, work in a local factory or become a TA (keeping hours suitable with a life with young children).

Some posters really are stupid, or lack any ambition and interest**

@apooagnuandyou

How judgemental are you suggesting that TA aren’t ambitious! Ambition and money isn’t the most important thing in many families lives. Many people think family time is more important!!

What if you are in the army or a diplomat and travel a lot? Is it immoral to uproot your kids around the world every few years including exam years?

International schools also bring in the cash to the UK. It's no.less immoral to board your British kid in Britain than it is to board your Chinese 13 year old in England.

My local boarding school can take on gifted and talented minority groups from deprived households on the back of international students. I wont loose sleep over it even if it wouldnt be my first choice.

@TableFlowerss but somebody has to do those jobs? They are all critically important to the security of the country even if you don’t value them.

You also can’t leave the military for six years after signing up, even after that you can’t just leave. If you just walked out I’m pretty certain the military police would come and get you. You’d go to military prison, I’d imagine in handcuffs.

I actually didn't realise the utter ignorance of some of this online community 🙃

[quote Lepetitpiggy]@Fonzitosty J
Jeez. this message couldnt have sounded more condescending if it tried...boarding does not equal to prestigious elite education, but certainly does equal ££££.

Thank you. Then I got resneered aT![/quote]
I’m going to assume you’re the OP, and that this is a name change fail (which begs the question, if you’re so assured in your beliefs about boarding schools and the parents who use them, why did you feel the need to name change to make your critical remarks? Why not own them under your usual username?)

From the rest of your posting, you come across as somebody quite capable of evaluating other viewpoints and imploring others to think before they judge without understanding the full picture, because nobody makes decisions in isolation and criticising without knowing the context is unkind. It’s rather sad that you’re all too keen to throw accusations at those whose lives you have little idea of, yet on other threads ask other people not to judge you and your past without knowing you.

@TableFlowerss

*Tableflowerss is your person here, Kin. Apparently NO ONE in Britain needs to work abroad*

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Someone’s having difficulty understanding the concept of choice......

Oh, yes, that's right. Poverty . . . a brilliant choice. 😂😂

@Kinlocrhum

I actually didn't realise the utter ignorance of some of this online community 🙃

It's astounding, isn't it?

How judgemental are you suggesting that TA aren’t ambitious! Ambition and money isn’t the most important thing in many families lives

Well which is it? They are ambitious or they don't value ambition? You seem confused.

Definitely not the OP. What a weird assumption

@Totalbeach. Can you assure this rather odd person I am not you?!

[quote sipsmith1]@TableFlowerss but somebody has to do those jobs? They are all critically important to the security of the country even if you don’t value them.

You also can’t leave the military for six years after signing up, even after that you can’t just leave. If you just walked out I’m pretty certain the military police would come and get you. You’d go to military prison, I’d imagine in handcuffs.[/quote]
Of course, but these things are surely considerations before people decide to have children? Some people don’t want children, some people do and would be happy with putting them in a boarding school and again, that’s fair enough.

@Lepetitpiggy

Definitely not the OP. What a weird assumption

Then apologies. You responded to more than one post directed at the OP as if they were directed at you.

The other point still stands. You come across very differently on your other threads and don’t seem to have much time for those who judge without knowing the full picture.

Wow some of the replies on here are really rude! Obviously OP has touched a nerve for people who’ve sent their kids to boarding schools.

I personally wouldn’t send my DC to boarding school but I in no way think they’re abusive.
Those who are keeping their kids in boarding school over the pandemic probably don’t have much of a choice. If they’re working full time the child would be at home alone for hours maybe even over night, trying to learn online and not having a very nice time whereas staying where they are is normal and probably more preferable to them.

@TableFlowerss if everyone with long hours or compulsory overseas travel quit their jobs, who is going to do them? We can’t all work in our hometown, have flexible hours, readily available childcare and put family time over everything else. If every person doing one of those demanding jobs wanted to swap and do something easy and local, the economy would collapse.

I swear some posters on MN think it’s as simple as having a choice and can’t grasp why it’s not as easy as that.

Oh, yes, that's right. Poverty . . . a brilliant choice

So then money is your motivation over and above?

Are you actually suggesting that everyone that works in Britain is poor? I assume not, because that would be absolutely ridiculously wrong!!!

Oh wait a minute, does that mean that people can actually earn a descent living here, without having to move abroad? Wow - who knew 🤦‍♀️

OP I don't know why you started a thread when you are not willing to consider any other viewpoint.

I have no experience of boarding schools and in all likelihood I wouldn't use one for my dc but that's because I live in a safe democracy with a good free education system, access to private healthcare and I'm in a 9-5 job which allows for family friendly work practices.

I do realise not everybody in the world is in the same position as me though. Even a cursory glance at news headlines will give you a list of countries that don't enjoy all those benefits. Is it really unimaginable that people might want to give their children a consistent education?

I’m not the biggest fan of boarding schools, but I think there is a spot of exaggeration on this thread. My kids are day pupils at an independent school with a number of international students and the vast majority are secondary school and older. Their education is hugely important and I wouldn’t particularly want to consider uprooting the children and changing schools at this stage either if I’m honest. They certainly aren’t being shipped abroad at 7 years old as some pp’s have said.

@TableFlowerss

*Oh, yes, that's right. Poverty . . . a brilliant choice*

So then money is your motivation over and above?

Are you actually suggesting that everyone that works in Britain is poor? I assume not, because that would be absolutely ridiculously wrong!!!

Oh wait a minute, does that mean that people can actually earn a descent living here, without having to move abroad? Wow - who knew 🤦‍♀️

You're so naive. People's circumstances vary hugely and on threads about boarding school the closed mindedness of some people really comes out.

@swimlittlefishy

How judgemental are you suggesting that TA aren’t ambitious! Ambition and money isn’t the most important thing in many families lives

Well which is it? They are ambitious or they don't value ambition? You seem confused.

Oh I’m not confused, I’m pointing out that some people assume low paid jobs = lack of ambition. That isn’t the case...

Family time and hours that fit around school are more important that money to some people.

@TableFlowerss

*Oh, yes, that's right. Poverty . . . a brilliant choice*

So then money is your motivation over and above?

Are you actually suggesting that everyone that works in Britain is poor? I assume not, because that would be absolutely ridiculously wrong!!!

Oh wait a minute, does that mean that people can actually earn a descent living here, without having to move abroad? Wow - who knew 🤦‍♀️

I’m not the person who wrote that but I’m not after money. I’m after paying bills and feeding those who depend on me.

In my industry no, you can’t earn a decent living in the UK only. Because the government won’t invest in it, and the going rates are extremely low compared to working abroad. So most people are freelance and half their work happens abroad, where their job is actually valued and they can earn accordingly.

But sure, we could all quit the jobs we’ve been studying and training in since we were six years old, and like MN suggests all the time, ‘retrain’. Because that’s easy, cheap, and will pay for our families’ food and clothes.

Family time and hours that fit around school are more important that money to some people.

Paying the mortgage is more important to some people. Family time and hours that fit around school aren’t always the equivalent of paying the mortgage. Do you really struggle to understand that?

Perhaps they are children of military families whose parents have decided that allowing their children to board offers them much more stability than being posted to a new country every couple of years and having to slot into a new school and make new friends over and over again.