Is it rude for people to comment on who your child looks like ?

[nonaomi]

For example - wow Rosie really looks like her mother doesn't she ! Or, wow I can really see her father in her. Etc. Is it rude to do that?

Not generally but it could be for some people, like if you know someone is sensitive about this but you keep saying it.

Haha it's funny isn't it? I let her crack on. It's no skin off my nose. Use to bother me when my first was tiny but my kids my rules so

Oh thank god. When I saw this post I clicked on it, cos it’s something I say.. and I was worried i’ve been secretly annoying everyone I’ve said it to!!!

I love it when people say my DS2 looks like me (DS1 is the spit of his dad)!

Maybe the person doesn’t think they are very attractive themselves so was offended on behalf of their child

It doesn't annoy me, my boys are scarily like their dad, they look nothing like me. 😂

The first thing people (who know my DH say) is 'wow, isn't DS a close of DH?'. It would be nice if it happened less frequently because it gets tedious, but you get used to people commenting on your kid whatever.

I do worry whether it's polite to tell someone that their daughter looks like their dad.

It is something myself, friends and family do all the time. I can see some individuals may have a issue with this for various reasons but it is a normal comment to me.

However we do have a thing in my family of tell each other that each others kid looks or shows a behaviour of a certain relative. The relative in question is a total pain in the butt and has been since childhood. So it winds the parent up 😂 Naughty I know but all families have their traditions 😁

Wtaf is rude about it???

Mumsnet is weird today

My youngest DD is basically a clone of me - poor thing. Complete strangers literally used to say it out loud, cashiers, lifeguards, a random person on the street. I actually never minded.

Now in her teens, people still say the same.... DD is less happy about that!

A new family moved into our street. I made a comment that the daughter looked like her mum. I wanted the ground to swallow me up when she told me her daughter was adopted. But she did look like her. She saw the funny side of it.

Of course it's not rude are you okay op?

Dd1 looks like DH which I loved as I think he is really good looking and she was a gorgeous baby. When DD2 came along everyone said she looked like me which devastated me as I think I'm ugly therefore I thought they were saying DD was ugly. I was often quite upset (secretly obviously) during the hormonal early new born stage as I thought she was the most beautiful thing ever and yet she couldn't be if she looked like me! And people went on about it constantly which I hated. However I was aware it was my issue and that most people would be happy to be told their baby looked like them, therefore never said anything to anyone and once the hormones settled down I got over it. Totally get that am the opposite to most people though!

PS told don't think it's rude at all by the way! Completely normal new baby conversation!

No. People do it all the time.

I’m a twin and people are always saying I look like my mum and my sister her dad. How is it rude? I’m not getting this

Hardly.

No.
Half the time the child doesn't, but it's just conversation. Not rude.
Rude would be "He doesn't look anything like his dad, are you sure thats his dad?"

One of the sweetest things I came across was a family - Mum, Dad and son. They were always saying 'oh he looks like me', 'he's just like your Dad', etc etc. And the boy did look like his parents. We later found out he was adopted.

I suppose if you or other parent have something you don't like, eg big nose, you might feel upset. I say it a lot. You've made me wonder if I should stop. I suppose being told they look like partner all the time and not you might affect some people too. My child is exactly like I was at their age apart from colouring - my friends and family mention this all the time, however his dad's family insist he is the double if him. I suppose it does annoy me a bit. I'm thinking are you blind?

No, it isn’t rude. It’s quite nice to be told that our DD1 looks like my DH, though, as our DDs are adopted. (She really does too! )

An old school friends daughter looks exactly like she used to but friend has had quite a bit of work (nose job, chin implant, brow lift, something to the hairline) so in those circumstances I don't say it! Hasten to add her daughter looks lovely.

If they don't like that feature because they were teased or whatever I can see why they would think For example if you're ginger and were teased for it, you wouldn't be gushing with thanks when someone points out how ginger your child is.

Last PE I was told I look just like teen ds and I was so happy but ds was about it. He's my only child with brown eyes and hair so I think he looks most like me (but obviously a much better upgrade )

It's not rude but I hear it all the time and it drives me nuts. I get told ds looks like dp at least twice a day by all sorts of people. It is starting to grate tbh

“ Goodness, he’s the spit of the Co-op milkman isn’t he? “

That would be a bit off.