To ask if this woman was reasonable to make a complaint of sexism against a train station worker?

[CounsellorTroi]

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/train-station-worker-said-door-20427510?fbclid=IwAR1f04ip9QSaRaqT_uAw5d_areNmeBte49_fcmaw3hi58UuHm8T2Vw24ufA

She was having trouble opening a train door and he helped her, saying "it needed a man's touch"

I think that she did the right thing by making a complaint, 100% people should be called out and made accountable for everyday sexist/racist/homophobic comments. Little "jokes" like this foster more serious attitudes. However, it seems a little dramatic to go to the newspapers about it. Man makes a sexist comment is hardly a headline!

@I0NA

It was a light hearted comment.

And no, it’s really not part of a continuum of violence against women.

There's the potential for an interesting debate here, if we don't simply dismiss other people's opinions out of hand.

We all agree that there is an epidemic of violence against women, yes?

OK, assuming we do (you may disagree, or course), where did it come from? How did it start? If we brought up our children to believe that their sex had no bearing whatsoever on their behaviour, predilections and abilities, would we start to see a change? Who knows.

@CounsellorTroi

What about “female intuition” - is that sexist? Or “man flu”?

Yes and yes. Both examples of everyday sexism. Just because women say them doesn't make it not sexist.

@CounsellorTroi

What about “female intuition” - is that sexist? Or “man flu”?

They're all sexist.

Generalisations and stereotypes go both ways.

About 30 years ago I was on a train on a hot day - back then on many trains you opened the window if it was hot because they weren't air conditioned.

1st man - tries to pull window down, gives up.
2nd man - looking superior, goes and tries to pull window down ... and tries ... and gives up.

Teenage girl me, in those days very petite, gets up and pulls window down on first attempt (there's a knack to it .

Men laugh and say 'that told us!'

The woman was over-reacting.

Btw hiding thread now so I don't lose any more of my day on it 😬

I’m not sure I’d be arsed to actually complain but it’s definitely the kind of sexist attitude that would annoy me. Maybe we should start calling out these little micro aggressions, we’re not making any headway with the big stuff. Maybe we should start at the bottom.

Christ almighty. One second the bloke is helping her when she's struggling, and the next he's in the papers being branded a sexist for it.

I hate our world at the moment.

Yes, it might be a sexist comment (if you must label it) but what's the harm? Really?

@LindaEllen

Christ almighty. One second the bloke is helping her when she's struggling, and the next he's in the papers being branded a sexist for it.

I hate our world at the moment.

Yes, it might be a sexist comment (if you must label it) but what's the harm? Really?

Well, if he was the only man in the world with a sexist attitude who let it slip out once then there’s no harm. But it all adds to a culture where women are treated as weak subordinates, because he’s not the only man in the world making sexist comments.

@LindaEllen

Christ almighty. One second the bloke is helping her when she's struggling, and the next he's in the papers being branded a sexist for it.

I hate our world at the moment.

Yes, it might be a sexist comment (if you must label it) but what's the harm? Really?

"Helping her'?

Is his job. He's getting paid. He also made his snide little sexist remark to her boyfriend, who told her, rather than sniggering, all boys together fashion.

@Toomanynotes

I would have light-heartedly called him out on the comment at the time, but not made an official complaint.

Same. How ridiculous.

I guess reporting it means he’s unlikely to say it again to any other woman though, rather than just shrugging her off.

@RoseAndRose

It's the sort of everyday sexism that we can do without

Totally agree 💯. Boils my piss when I hear senior female staff make comments at male colleagues such as "your the man of the office, you need to lift al those files to the new shelf" or "oh of course you can't find it. You're a man, you've had a man look, it needs a women yo get something done round here".

I would have thought “what a prick” and rolled my eyes at him but wouldn’t have bothered making a formal complaint.

She can't do what a man can, and she moans when a man comes and help.

She is an embarrassment on so many levels.

Bonus point for the boyfriend who has clearly been well trained and didn't offer to help her to preserve little Madam sensibility. 😂 What her shame her sense of equality didn't make her miss her stop, sadly for the worker no good deed goes unpunished!

If we are not careful we will end up creating a society where customer interaction becomes a silent transaction.
It's very difficult to be at the top of your game all the time in a customer facing role and I do think many people underestimate the challenges it brings. Those kinds of roles are often dismissed by lots of people who think themselves far superior.
Some people need to stop overthinking everything, every day sexism, thin end of the wedge etc.
We are losing sight of what's really important.

I think some of the comments here such as "your the man of the office, you need to lift al those files to the new shelf" are a bit tricky - if we deny that men are usually stronger and bigger built than women why shouldn't transgender women play sport with women.
We don't want sexism but there are some differences generally across the board between men and women.

@Quincie

I think some of the comments here such as "your the man of the office, you need to lift al those files to the new shelf" are a bit tricky - if we deny that men are usually stronger and bigger built than women why shouldn't transgender women play sport with women. We don't want sexism but there are some differences generally across the board between men and women.

I so wish people (and the so-called "feminists") could see that!

@apooagnuandyou

She can't do what a man can, and she moans when a man comes and help.

She is an embarrassment on so many levels.

Bonus point for the boyfriend who has clearly been well trained and didn't offer to help her to preserve little Madam sensibility. 😂 What her shame her sense of equality didn't make her miss her stop, sadly for the worker no good deed goes unpunished!

That’s the whole point of the thing though, he wasn’t able to do it because he was a man, he was able to do it because it was his job and there’s a knack to it that he knew, because he’d done it so many times. If it was something any random man could do her boyfriend would have done it. So he could so easily have said ‘it needs a guard’s touch’ but he didn’t.

Yes men are generally stronger but some men aren't strong(er) than some women. Consequently, some women are stronger than some men.

Saying "you're the man of the office..." without considering individual strength (i.e: Has he shown that he's a strong person or is he assumed to be strong just because he's a man?) will put this one man in a difficult position where he has to live up to being this expectation of strength - and I can imagine it would be seen as weak/shameful (in this case) if he isn't.

That and other comments like it (directed at either a man or a woman) are much more damaging than the ignorant "requires a man's/woman's touch", after you've done something particularly "manly" or "womanly".

Although, the 'woman's touch' statement will also have the same pressure if it's said as a form of expectation as well (Eg: "We need a woman's touch around here. Can you take charge of the decorations?" Said to a woman, automatically assuming every woman is a born interior decorator or that it's her job because she's a woman.) Can also imagine the shame or disappointment if she fails at her "womanly" job.

The real damage is in the expectation from others based on one's sex, not in patting oneself on the back for doing something supposedly "manly" or "womanly". In my opinion, it's fine to correct both but only one deserves to be made a big deal out of.

That’s the whole point of the thing though, he wasn’t able to do it because he was a man, he was able to do it because it was his job and there’s a knack to it that he knew, because he’d done it so many times. If it was something any random man could do her boyfriend would have done it. So he could so easily have said ‘it needs a guard’s touch’ but he didn’t.
Do they really design train doors that can only be opened by a trained guard? I'm pretty sure they don't.

Couldn't get excited about it tbh and certainly not enough to complain. Bit vindictive.

Depends on how it was said and tone of voice.
I think you can tell who is being patronizing and who isn't or if they made her feel small by saying it. I wouldn't have complained at all , but if it means the train workers are given some training in how to speak and behave around the customers then some good might come of it maybe? It feels petty to me, but comments do hurt sometimes and can make you feel uncomfortable or a bit inadequate. People talking down to you can be annoying.
I tend to struggle with door handles or just things I'm not sure about sometimes and might need a hand ( especially as I've aged) or it may have been stuck and needed a shove or something. The comment was uncalled for though.

@GreyhoundG1rl

That’s the whole point of the thing though, he wasn’t able to do it because he was a man, he was able to do it because it was his job and there’s a knack to it that he knew, because he’d done it so many times. If it was something any random man could do her boyfriend would have done it. So he could so easily have said ‘it needs a guard’s touch’ but he didn’t. Do they really design train doors that can only be opened by a trained guard? I'm pretty sure they don't.

Is this a serious question?

I always think these ridiculous people are the most antifeminists of all. Why else would you try to embarrass women so much otherwise? No one could make such a complaint with a straight face and taking it seriously!