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AIBU?

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Original poster

Do I treat DC the same for Uni fees?

135 replies

teerocks · 24/04/2021 08:23

Hi,

2 DC, both due to start Uni this September. DC1 is older and has done a 3 year apprenticeship and so has been told they will qualify as an independent student and get the maximum student loan. DC2 will be fresh out of 6th form and will only get the minimum loan due to our incomes.

I'll obviously need to top up DC2's to at least the maximum loan amount, but morally it feels like I should be offering DC1 the same.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
FelicityPike · 24/04/2021 08:26

Personally I think you should. Otherwise 1 could view it as favouritism.

Hwory · 24/04/2021 08:27

I think the most important thing is can you afford too?

Liverbird77 · 24/04/2021 08:27

I would give them the same.

MyGorramShip · 24/04/2021 08:27

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

ZenNudist · 24/04/2021 08:28

Just make sure they both have the same funding. It's not morally wrong to give one less than the other. Its morally wrong if one is better off than the other.

I'd argue the older one doesn't need supporting further. Really one degree or qualification is enough. I don't know anyone whose parents funded further study.

Original poster
teerocks · 24/04/2021 08:28

Hwory just about, but things would be more comfortable if we didn't.

OP posts:
Kpo58 · 24/04/2021 08:29

I think it rather depends if you are giving or loaning DC2 the money. If it's a loan, you can treat them differently, if you are giving the money then you should treat them the same.

Palavah · 24/04/2021 08:29

Presumably DC2 gets the lower loan amount because there is an assumed parental contribution which isn't assumed for DC1. If you make the parental contribution then doesn't that bring them both to the same level?

You can treat DC2 contribution as a loan they have to pay back, if that helps.

Zoecarter · 24/04/2021 08:29

No dc 1 will have more money which is unfair on dc2

Original poster
teerocks · 24/04/2021 08:29

Zennudist the apprenticeship was Level 3 not degree, this will be a first degree for both of them.

OP posts:
Slankets · 24/04/2021 08:29

I agree you need to make sure they are getting the same total, it seems more unfair for one to have more money than the other

TeddyBeans · 24/04/2021 08:29

@MyGorramShip

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

This
ItsOnLikeDonkeyKong · 24/04/2021 08:29

Give the additional support to the one that needs it.

You provide support when needed. It doesn't always have to apply to all.

HighlandCowbag · 24/04/2021 08:31

Top dc2 to the maximum amount. If there is any spare money to top both of them up, split it 50/50 then you are giving both of them the same.

NoWordForFluffy · 24/04/2021 08:31

@MyGorramShip

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

This is my thought.
Pinpointer · 24/04/2021 08:31

Tell DC1 to take a smaller loan if they are both at the same stages in degree.
DC2 would then both be helped financially by yourself and have less debt at the end of their degree.

Ducksurprise · 24/04/2021 08:32

Have you supported DC 1 through his apprenticeship?

Pinpointer · 24/04/2021 08:33

I mean tell DC1 to take the minimum loan and top them both up. Then it’s fair and they both have equal debt at the end.

SuperMonkeys · 24/04/2021 08:35

I don't think that is necessarily fair. I would make up the income of the lower 'earner', and then help both of them as and when with sporadic things.

Money for the sake of it makes no sense.

NailsNeedDoing · 24/04/2021 08:36

Did you support the living expenses of dc1 while they’ve been doing an apprenticeship?

If so, you’ve already given that support, so I don’t think you have to make what you give exactly the same, because then the outcome would be that one of them has more money available to spend than the other.

GoWalkabout · 24/04/2021 08:37

Tricky. I think that topping up only dc2 will give them the same amount to live on and unless they become high earners they are unlikely to pay back the full amount over the years (remember that the loan is the fees as well as the maintenance). And if dc1 does end up paying back more, then that will be because he is a high earner. I think you should not overstretch your family budget to top up dc1, and if you do, he should take less loan (is this possible). Instead, you will be able to afford little extras for both.

chocolatepudandchocolatesauce · 24/04/2021 08:37

I agree with @Pinpointer. Get the older one to take a smaller loan and top them both up. Equal and fair.

MeadowLines · 24/04/2021 08:39

I agree with @MyGorramShip especially if you have financially supported dc1 through their apprenticeship. Equal doesn't always mean the same

GeorgiaGirl52 · 24/04/2021 08:40

@MyGorramShip

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

This^
frozenpeaz · 24/04/2021 08:40

@Pinpointer

I mean tell DC1 to take the minimum loan and top them both up. Then it’s fair and they both have equal debt at the end.
I agree with this. It wouldnt be 'fair' for you to top up younger ds so they both have the same amount but but ds1 comes out with thousands more in debt. I'd give ds the option to take the smaller lone and be topped up by you as you've said you can afford it
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