Do I treat DC the same for Uni fees?

[teerocks]

Hi,

2 DC, both due to start Uni this September. DC1 is older and has done a 3 year apprenticeship and so has been told they will qualify as an independent student and get the maximum student loan. DC2 will be fresh out of 6th form and will only get the minimum loan due to our incomes.

I'll obviously need to top up DC2's to at least the maximum loan amount, but morally it feels like I should be offering DC1 the same.

Any thoughts?

Have you had DC1 living at home through his apprenticeship and not paying rent?

I would calculate it by how much debt each will get in with the student loan. If one is getting into more debt I would give money to that one so that their debts are equal.

I would make sure they get the same total amount. So dc1 is getting the maximum loan, you need to top up dc2 to that amount. Then if you want to give even more then give the same to both dcs.

It would NOT be fair to give the same amount to both dcs, so the one with the maximum loan can have a higher standard of living than the other one.

@Pinpointer is correct. ..assuming you can afford it.

Get them to take the same amount of loan and give them the same amount of top up. The loan has to be paid back. I wouldn't want to leave one DC with a massive loan to pay off if the other wasn't going to have to be saddled with it. That would be really unfair.

@Pinpointer

I mean tell DC1 to take the minimum loan and top them both up. Then it’s fair and they both have equal debt at the end.

You'd really spend thousands of pounds unnecessarily just to be seen to be fair?

Of course not! It's hardly DC2's fault that he only gets the min loan. I think it would be far more unfair to give more money to DC1 on top of the grant, resulting in DC1 having it way better than DC2.

Oh so if the accommodation is unavoidably much different then I would pay that and then balance it up so they have roughly similar for expenses. My aim would be to ensure that they have roughly similar lifestyle opportunities whilst at uni and leave to start their life with roughly similar levels of debt.

Dd1 got her orthodontic treatment on the NHS due to a massive overbite.

Dd2 didn’t so I paid for her braces.

By your logic, I should have given dd1 the amount I spent on dd2’s braces!

Fair doesn’t mean equal. They should both get the same amount of money. It does not matter whether this comes from you or from the government.

@5566rfghh

Of course not! It's hardly DC2's fault that he only gets the min loan. I think it would be far more unfair to give more money to DC1 on top of the grant, resulting in DC1 having it way better than DC2.

There's no grant. It's a loan. So if the parent doesn't pay them the DC will have to pay it(at some point)

OP I think @MyGorramShip is correct.

But I notice on MN if everyone is not given the same it’s a problem. Which I think is stupid but there you go.

How do you think your kids will take it?

I recall my older sister being upset cause when my DB turned 18 he got a car and when she turned 18 she got a double bed. The fact that she didn’t pass a test or took driving lessons never occurred to her or that she needed a new bed at the time.

I’d be more concerned with their reaction to the help they’re getting. Some children will always feel that they’re unfairly treated. You won’t help that because if it’s not this it will be something else.

Its really tricky.
Can you afford it?
If you topped up DC1 would they only take the minimum student loan so they didn't get in as much debt? Or would they take the max and use money you gave them for treats?
I try and treat all my dc equally, sometimes its not possible. Although DC1 looks in stronger position, without help they
would end up with much bigger student debt which potentially could cause resentment in the future.

I don't know if I'm being stupid but does this not mean that child 1 will be worse off in the longer term.
Say child one borrows 8000 and child two borrows 4000. You then top up child two by giving them 4000. So child one has to pay back over their life 8000 whilst child 2 only has to pay back 4000. If you give them both 4000 you are actually making it equal.
Both will then only pay back 4000.

Or am I getting this wrong???

Agree with PPs. Focus on your youngest who's help from the government is reduced on the assumption parents will contribute. The oldest has already been supported through the apprenticeship. It wasn't a degree but it doesn't matter. They'll have enough funds from the loan to cover halls (and some left over) then will need to find part time work.
When I chose to do a masters after my degree, I also took on full time work to fund it. My parents had already supported me through uni, regardless of the support my brother got, I wouldn't expect the same again. When does it stop? What if one wants to go on to do masters or PHD?
I would probably give the oldest a bit of a sweetner to put them on for the first term until they find work and have the conversation with both about supporting them through early adult years and what you can and can't commit to. I managed a woman in her early 60s who was putting off retirement despite ill health, not liking the job any more (and being terrible at it as the tech side had evolved so much it wasn't the job she started 30 years ago!), because she was running her adult daughter's university fees and living expenses!

Ps I realise my figures are based on 1989 money but you get my drift.

@MyGorramShip

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

This. Each according to need. If you decide to go above maximum loan level, then it should be equal unless circumstances of degree mean one has extra expenses or is less able to work part-time throughout.

My son is managing on minimum loan .
No spare money here
2 dc with autism and not in school ,so I can’t work

If you can afford to give both the same why not encourage DC1 to take less of the loan. In the long run they will thank you as won't have to pay as much back .

And to those who point out the differing loan amounts between the two, yes I agree, but they've chosen different courses (I assume) and different priorities (18 year old in uni and the other considered a mature student as went to apprenticeship first). The parents can't be expected to make up the short fall for all their kids choices? What about if one takes on a mortgage and the other doesn't? One gets a well paid salary, the other minimum wage?

Are you sure your eldest qualifies for the full loan? DS didn’t, despite having worked for some years before uni, as he was under 25 and living at home.

@MyGorramShip

No.

DC1 is getting the maximum loan, DC2 the minimum loan.

You need to make sure they have the same amount of money.

Fair doesn’t always mean equal.

But DC1 will end up in mote debt as a result. It'll take them longer to pay their loan back than DC2.

It's not an easy question.

Don’t give the money to DC1 now. If you can afford it invest the same amount that you give to DC2 as a top up. Then when DC1 reaches the earning stage they are paying off their loan, use the original money that you invested to pay off the bit of their loan that they took out that DC2 didn’t. Use some of the profit to pay off the interest accrued on that part. Split remaining profit between the two DCs or keep for yourself. That would be the most meticulously fair way to do it!

It would also likely be better financially than just DC1 not taking the higher portion of the loan and you topping up, as the amount you could get if cleverly invested should be more than interest accrued on that part of the loan. Worth checking that though.

Dc1 has been subsidised at home while on his apprenticeship and presumably will be going back into a well paid job once he completes uni. So I would subsidise dc2 at the moment and not dc1.

Good luck to both of them, you and your dh must be very proud of them

Pinpointer

I mean tell DC1 to take the minimum loan and top them both up. Then it’s fair and they both have equal debt at the end.

This-because it’s not just about living expenses whilst doing the degree, it’s about the debt at the end that will hang over them-especially the older one with the maximum loan, forever.

In my opinion the best thing would to be to contribute the same amount to them, and for dc1 to take less loan. It’s not great to take the full amount and end up having a massive debt to pay back.