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Original poster

Do I treat DC the same for Uni fees?

135 replies

teerocks · 24/04/2021 08:23

Hi,

2 DC, both due to start Uni this September. DC1 is older and has done a 3 year apprenticeship and so has been told they will qualify as an independent student and get the maximum student loan. DC2 will be fresh out of 6th form and will only get the minimum loan due to our incomes.

I'll obviously need to top up DC2's to at least the maximum loan amount, but morally it feels like I should be offering DC1 the same.

Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Havehope21 · 24/04/2021 19:17

Something similar happened with me and my sister - she got more funding than I did (by a long way). My parents couldn't afford to top mine up so I just got by with less. I have learnt excellent budgeting skills though. My parents supported me as much as they possibly could with the funds they had available though. I don't think YOU need to offer both children the same support if it is financially difficult. However, if you can help the one who is financially poorer - than 100% do. If the one who gets more help from the government falls into difficulty, that is the time to help them. I am much better at managing money than my sister because I had no choice at university. She did and is much more frivolous (and selfish).

ToffeeAppleCaramel · 24/04/2021 19:27

I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been said but if not, don’t tell DC1 to take a lower loan than they can get and top it up yourself. The way the loans work lots and lots of students will never pay them all back so if they need the money for living expenses and are entitled to it, take it as a student loan ALWAYS. You should also not give them extra money to make overpayments for the same reason (unless you are certain they will be high enough earners to repay in full).

Given the way the loans work I would just think of what you need to do to give them equal money now and not about the different levels of debt that means in the end.

DIshedUp · 24/04/2021 19:34

Top up number 2. Its not unfair because they will end up with the same amount of money

You've supported DC1 though their apprenticeship already.

If DC1 moans tell them your willing to give them the same as DC2 to make it fair, but it would also be fair for DC1 to share out their extra maintenance loan

Wotsitsarecheesy · 24/04/2021 19:35

Agree with the recent posters pointing out the fact that most students don't repay their loans. Dc1 should still take the maximum loan. Dc2 gets the minimum loan but you top it up to the same amount. That way they both get the same amount of money to live on. That is fair. Neither is likely to pay off their loans, as long as the rules don't change, so one loan being larger than the other is unlikely to actually make a difference. You could always keep the extra money to one side and see how things pan out.

MasterBeth · 24/04/2021 19:38

Talk to them about it. What do they feel is fair?

TheLastLotus · 24/04/2021 19:40

you’re a very good parent to be thinking about this!
It’s very hard to be absolutely equal. For example DC1 has lots in savings because he/she benefitted from living at home.
DC2 will have an absolute smaller amount of money if he/she graduates then goes straight on to a job in a different city.
Do what each child needs at the time - and have an open discussion about the reason for your choices so that the DC understand

Belladonna12 · 24/04/2021 19:42

@Wotsitsarecheesy

Agree with the recent posters pointing out the fact that most students don't repay their loans. Dc1 should still take the maximum loan. Dc2 gets the minimum loan but you top it up to the same amount. That way they both get the same amount of money to live on. That is fair. Neither is likely to pay off their loans, as long as the rules don't change, so one loan being larger than the other is unlikely to actually make a difference. You could always keep the extra money to one side and see how things pan out.
You can't say that students don't repay their loans in the past tense as no student loan has yet been written off and we don't know whether that will actually happen. It is something the Conservatives say will happen but that doesn't mean it will. Who knows what will happen in 30 years time.
MissConductUS · 24/04/2021 22:30

I have two in uni now in the US, where it's four years and wildly expensive. On has a year to go, the other three. Their costs are different as their tuition and fees are different, as are their scholarship packages.

We've decided that our goal is for both of them to graduate free of any debt, even though one will cost more than the other. Both will also likely need help with a car at some point. I think it will all even out in the end.

serin · 24/04/2021 23:13

We dont really keep scores in our family.
DC1 we supported through a 3 year arts degree but she will still have to pay back her tuition costs.
DC2 has his tuition paid (NHS degree) and we are trying to pay all his other costs so he is debt free at the end of it.
DC3 Has got a degree apprenticeship and fully supports himself including his accommodation fees, car etc.
They each chose their own path in life and we have supported each of them as much as we could.

Hesma · 26/04/2021 17:01

I take it you supported DC 1 through the apprenticeship? If so then I wouldn’t give extra... they’ve received it in a different way over the last 3 years Smile

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