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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want my autistic daughter to walk to school after this?

122 replies

Anon778833 · 22/04/2021 20:33

I’m absolutely fuming. My 12 year old autistic daughter who lives just 10 minutes from home, was walking home from school today with her two friends when three year 11 students (girls) from the same school came up behind her and her friends, started harassing her then pushed my daughter over.

My daughter now has an egg on her head, big grazes on her knees that need a tetanus shot because they were caked in dirt and swollen fingers.

I took photos of the girls who did this and sent them to school & reported the incident. I’ve also reported it online to the police.

My daughter is a tiny little thing and these girls were massive, compared to her and are actually taller than me. How can they be so nasty? Dd hasn’t even processed what happened yet. I only know what happened because her friend who does not have special needs knocked on my door and explained what had happened.

Should I drive her to school now?

OP posts:
Fruityfriday · 22/04/2021 20:36

How did you manage to get pictures. Did you go looking for them? I hope they apologised

birdling · 22/04/2021 20:37

Your poor daughter, that's awful. I would certainly drive her for a while, especially until the incident is dealt with effectively.
How on earth did you manage to get photos of the girls after it happened?

GreyhoundG1rl · 22/04/2021 20:39

Did this happen outside your house?

LagneyandCasey · 22/04/2021 20:42

That's awful. Your poor dd. If the school don't deal with it appropriately I would go to the police. Your dd has been assaulted.
Does she want to carry on walking to school? Maybe drive her tomorrow and see how she feels at the weekend.

Silverfly · 22/04/2021 20:42

Oh your poor DD, that's awful. Hopefully it was a one-off incident not part of a pattern - has she had any trouble from these girls before? I would carry on letting her walk to and from school if she wants to.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 22/04/2021 20:49

She doesn’t know them and has said that she’s never seen them before. She’s in year 7 and they don’t mix years at all due to Covid.

When she got home, I immediately got in the car and drove down the road and asked dd to point them out. Then I managed to park and get a picture of them. This was the only way they were going to be held accountable for their actions.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon778833 · 22/04/2021 20:50

@GreyhoundG1rl - it happened about 300 metres from our house.

OP posts:
GreyhoundG1rl · 22/04/2021 20:50

If the school is halfway decent they'll be on this like a ton of bricks Flowers

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/04/2021 20:51

I'd call the police if it's on a public road.

Bitofanexpert · 22/04/2021 20:52

Horrible bitches. Straight onto the school tomorrow, they should be on this like a ton of bricks. If not as said above, police.

itsgettingwierd · 22/04/2021 20:53

My ds is autistic.

How does she feel about walking?

What I found was the more incident my poor da ended up at the receiving end of they more anxious he got and so I'd say if they're is a way to help her feel confident I'd use it.

It may be she's happy for you to walk 50- 100m behind her and they feel confident an adult is there if needed but she gains confidence and skills walking again.

Does the school have someone who can talk to your dd if she feels overwhelmed in school? I know with my ds the reaction is often delayed and it's something else happening that triggers memories and a reaction.

Hope your poor dd is ok. What nasty bullies to do that.

sqirrelfriends · 22/04/2021 20:54

Horrible girls, of the school is even halfway decent then they should take it seriously.

I hope your DD is ok Thanks

beginningoftheend · 22/04/2021 20:56

Really sorry your daughter was assaulted Flowers

I would try to let her walk and hope the school deal with this very robustly. It would be a real shame if she loses that because of one incident.

One of my children had a one-off incident coming home from school - not as bad - but the school absolutely rollocked the kids and it never happened again - I hope you get the same outcome.

EmeraldShamrock · 22/04/2021 21:04

That is awful it's hard to keep faith in humanity hearing these things.
I'd probably drive her, once you get a chance to speak to the school take the next step.

Hankunamatata · 22/04/2021 21:10

How does dd feel about walking?

Angrypregnantlady · 22/04/2021 21:11

It's awful but I wouldn't stop her walking. Take it to the school they should come down on the older kids like a tonne of bricks if they're half decent.

Sleepdeprivedmama1 · 22/04/2021 21:14

@SugarbabyMilly

I’m absolutely fuming. My 12 year old autistic daughter who lives just 10 minutes from home, was walking home from school today with her two friends when three year 11 students (girls) from the same school came up behind her and her friends, started harassing her then pushed my daughter over.

My daughter now has an egg on her head, big grazes on her knees that need a tetanus shot because they were caked in dirt and swollen fingers.

I took photos of the girls who did this and sent them to school & reported the incident. I’ve also reported it online to the police.

My daughter is a tiny little thing and these girls were massive, compared to her and are actually taller than me. How can they be so nasty? Dd hasn’t even processed what happened yet. I only know what happened because her friend who does not have special needs knocked on my door and explained what had happened.

Should I drive her to school now?

..and you're asking whether you should drive her to school now?

I have an autistic daughter and I have no intention of leaving her to walk to school with or without friends when she hits secondary school. She's unaware of danger and not able to defend herself, so very vulnerable. If your daughter is the same, for the sake of her safety - drive

MaxNormal · 22/04/2021 21:16

Could you phone the police? That was a violent assault.

vinoandbrie · 22/04/2021 21:21

Drive her from now on. I’m so sorry for you both having to deal with this nastiness. Your poor girl 💐

Original poster
Anon778833 · 22/04/2021 21:21

I’m going to drive her. The school have identified the perpetrators and have said they will be dealt with tomorrow. I have also reported it to the police online.

OP posts:
Winterbaby21 · 22/04/2021 21:25

I would probably phone the police, yes they're school children but above the age of criminal responsibility. I have known of teenagers being arrested for much less than this.

Do you think they know she has a disability? If that was their motivation for targeting her then they'll be in very deep shit with the police, let alone school.

Your poor DD. I'm sorry this happened to her. I have an autistic child and it knocks me sick that vulnerable children are targeted like this.

Winterbaby21 · 22/04/2021 21:26

Crossed posts. Good call OP. I hope they come down hard on the little sods. I could call them much worse but don't want to be banned.

Wavingnotdrown1ng · 22/04/2021 21:35

I’m really sorry to hear this - I also have an autistic DD. I sincerely hope the school deal with it robustly and yes, report it to the police if they don’t - it’s a serious assault and a possible hate-crime.
In the short term, driving would be reassuring for both of you, I’m sure. Would walking up to meet her be an option for you? My DD finds walking home from school very helpful to regulate her emotions and make the transition between home and school manageable - it might be a shame for her to withdraw this bit of independence, when there are quite often things that our neurodiverse children are not able to do. Sending you both Flowers

beginningoftheend · 22/04/2021 21:37

I totally understand why you want to drive her but it seems a shame that she will lose this bit of freedom. Does she want to be driven or does she want to walk?

Shrivelled · 22/04/2021 21:41

When she got home, I immediately got in the car and drove down the road and asked dd to point them out. Then I managed to park and get a picture of them. This was the only way they were going to be held accountable for their actions.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 This is brilliant, well done. I hope these girls get in some serious shit for this.

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