to think that the life of pre-school age children is NOT all about 'getting ready fo school'?

[Astrophe]

My DD is 3. I stared taking her to a kiddie gymnastics type thing - 45 minute session once a week in September, thinking she would enjoy it. She doesn't. She has given it a really good try I think - she went all of last half term, and one week this half term. But she finds it very upsetting - no idea why.

When I told them his week that I wasn't going to bring her any more, I copped a lecture from the ladies who run it about how DD "needs to learn to stick at things" and how she "wont get on at school" if she doesn't learn to separate from me better (she is fine elsewhere btw) and that its important for school that children attend these sorts of groups.

It makes me so angry that they think they know my child better than me, but what upsets me more is the attitude that everything a pre-school age child does needs to be preparation for school.

Life as a three year old is important in its own right, not just as practice for being 4! I see this attitude everywhere - friends giving their pre-school DC worksheets 'to prepare them for school' and taking them to so many activities in order to 'build their stamina for school'

Childhood is so fleeting and so precious, it just makes me so sad.

I don't think its helped by the fact that children start school 2 years too early in this country (imho).

So AIBU? Am I setting my child up to be 'unprepared' for school and hence an abysmal failure in life???

YUNBU.

You did the right thing by stopping the kiddie gymnastics, what is the point of making a child do an activity that they don't enjoy???? Madness. They just wanted you to keep paying for lessons so where trying to make you feel guilty for stopping imo.

Yes agree, kids should be kids, not just get ready for school, then spend their lives in school getting ready for adult life!

I would never make my DS go to something he wasn't enjoying because I though it would be good for him. Being miserable is never going to do a child any good imo.

and it's bollox that she won't get on at school because she doesn't go to these groups. Nursery will prepare her fine for the transition to school just fine.

YANBU - My DD1 (3.10) just told me today that she didn't want to go to a similar gym thing anymore (she's been going since January quite happily, but for some reason which she hasn't really explained she's now not keen) and I just thought, well, that's fine. I hated being made to do stuff as a kid, and IMO, the Reception year is what prepares them for school.

YANBU.

I personally do not think that they need to be at school at four anyway, its too young IMO.

I hate the way that nursery now has 'learning goals' or whatever they are called, and that there's a curriculum for three year olds.

Let 'em be children FGS. Mud and paint and cutting and sticking and looking at ladybirds and all that, and if they get tired or bored then so what? They are little.

Bodkin you hit the nail right on the head! She is 3 - let her enjoy being 3!! She'll be in school system for a long time to come so enjoy freedom now!! She'll learn reading and writing at school - that's what it's there for, no need for stress beforehand!! Have fiends who swore their 3 yo could reade the Oxford dictionary for fun!!! AAARGGGHHH!!! Mine splashed in puddles!

YANBU Agree entirely.

In fact I don't think any age should be just all about school - even when they get there I wish they'd back off a bit sometimes. It's like a fast forward button being hit..always on to the next thing and the next. Too fast from day one.

Enjoy this time and stuff their gym class. Being three is lovely and about spending ten minutes watching a snail if you want to.

Mine couldn't be doing with a gym class at that age either. It was far too structured and rigid for them.

And yes, I think we do send children to school too early here. I've always said that too. What on earth the hurry is I'll never know

YANBU completely. I mever could see the point of all those classes and the rush to get children ready for school.

Its such a common attitude though - I mentioned to a friend that I might not use all 5 sessions of nursery as I want DD to have plenty of free time, and she was really shocked and worried for my DD that she wouldn't get on at school. Its maddness, because all the facts show that starting formal education too early leads to worse outcomes in the long run, not better ones.

I have already paid up for the full term at gymnastics btw, so their reaction was borne purely out of their misinformed beliefs I think. Which is so sad

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Astrophe, I couldn't agree more.

I am making pathetically half-hearted attempts to book my ds (three on Friday last) into a nursery for his free 12.5 hours per week.

But frankly, I couldn't give a s~~~ if he goes there or not. If I can't walk there, he's not going.

Modern life is freaky ... keep that childhood for as long as you can. It only seems like yesterday that he was a little 7lb scrap of flesh, and now look at him! I don't want to miss a minute of it ... not even a second of it.

ive kept ds out of kindergarten for lots of reasons and one being

i want to walk there

Please don't report me, I'll force her to go, I promise.

As it happens, she loves the jumping, climbing, cartwheeling etc, but doesn't like being separated from her Mummy.

I've just remembered that they also told me she was manipulating me, and that she would soon learn that she will always get what she wants by acting sad...now theres another attitude that annoys me..." If you take pity on them when they're sad, they will learn to expect that"...yeah?...and?

the nurseries in scotland have no such 'learning goals'. they just go there and play and do fun things.

all i wanted was a caring safe fun environment

within walking distance

DD does go to nursery as it happens - she does 2 full days and she likes it. I panned it so she has some full days where we can just hang out at home and play.

Whilst I think free nursery is a lovely thing and am glad we have it, I also think it is causing parents to push their children earlier and earlier. Its basically come to mean that a child starts institutionalised education when they are 3, which I find rather frightening.

We are in the fortunate position of being Australian, and so will take the DC back to Australia for school. She wont have to start reception until she is 5 years 7 months. Hurrah!

Oh I agree wholeheartedly. Kids should be playing and enjoying themselves - we should be enjoying and dealing with them now not trying to 'second-guess' issues they might have in the future

I too don't think I will be fussed about nursery and that - but isn't the nursery 'curriculum' really sticking and playing anyway? My understanding was that they introduced the 'curriculum' to make sure that kids were getting the opportunity to follow all different types of play - messy play etc whatever childcare they were in.... (and judging by some of the private nurseries I saw when visiting - they needed all the guidance they could get )

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good god they were just in it for the money!!!
How on earth does attending a gym tots thing equate to not being ready for school. DS is in nursery to start school next year and none of his external activities have anything to do with getting him 'ready' for school. It is to do with things he enjoys, and helping him to be a child!!

That's why I'm being half-hearted about it. I'm happy for ds to go to nursery (free) if it's fun, but any whiff of monitoring, marking, observation, or 'goals' ... and he'll be out there like a shot.

Fortunately, my ds is a November baby, so won't start school until he's 4.10 .. but it still seems way to early to me.

If he ever doesn't feel like going to Reception, I won't make him. I think the UK should set the start year 12 months later than it currently is .... at least.

desi

i was cupcakemummy

hi

ds is also a nov birhtday if we stay here he will not go to school till he is seven

Ah, hi Alice! I thought you seemed familiar to me, but it was a new name

Remind me (and forgive me) about where you are now?

how ridiculous.

Soon they'll be preparing children for preparing for school and the madness will continue.

Ds (3) goes to preschool but as far as he is concerned it's somewhere he can play with paint and ride bikes/listen to stories. As far as I am concerned it gives me a couple of free hours in a morn, and he gets to socialise.

I wish they would stop trying to pressure kids so young. It's not good for them. They've got years ahead of them for school. Plus isn't reception to prepare them for school.

Madness.

Doodle - I'm not sure what you're saying...Its not me who thinks she is manipulating me, I was sort of quoting the attitude that others have - did you misunderstand my post, or am I misunderstanding yours?

Alice - where are you?

desi

austria
and i was also a nanny and nursery school teacher

yes armadillo - they will have to go to pre-nursery school when they are 2, nursery at 3, school at 4, uni at 18, work at 21, work, work, work, retire, die.