to think that the life of pre-school age children is NOT all about 'getting ready fo school'?

[Astrophe]

My DD is 3. I stared taking her to a kiddie gymnastics type thing - 45 minute session once a week in September, thinking she would enjoy it. She doesn't. She has given it a really good try I think - she went all of last half term, and one week this half term. But she finds it very upsetting - no idea why.

When I told them his week that I wasn't going to bring her any more, I copped a lecture from the ladies who run it about how DD "needs to learn to stick at things" and how she "wont get on at school" if she doesn't learn to separate from me better (she is fine elsewhere btw) and that its important for school that children attend these sorts of groups.

It makes me so angry that they think they know my child better than me, but what upsets me more is the attitude that everything a pre-school age child does needs to be preparation for school.

Life as a three year old is important in its own right, not just as practice for being 4! I see this attitude everywhere - friends giving their pre-school DC worksheets 'to prepare them for school' and taking them to so many activities in order to 'build their stamina for school'

Childhood is so fleeting and so precious, it just makes me so sad.

I don't think its helped by the fact that children start school 2 years too early in this country (imho).

So AIBU? Am I setting my child up to be 'unprepared' for school and hence an abysmal failure in life???

two arguments going on here

1. no formal preschool/laods of clubs before school - yes suits some children not others

1. no formal learning when in early years and reception, year 1 - I don't agree at all

noonar if she is enjoying it and learning stuff then she is ready for it

if not then you are wasting your time (and hers!)

dd1 started going at nearly 3 and if she hadn't I dread to think what she would have been like at school

some children DO need to learn how to play in a group/deal with the noise of a group/be away from home environment etc etc

so I think it depends on the child

look school is fun you know

its not a life sentence

Enid, I'm glad school is fun for your dd's, that's great but school is NOT fun for some children. It's just not.

Well done OP a great thread!!

I run a DAYCARE nursery & I try so hard NOT to growl at parents who proudly refer to it as "School" or even "pre-school"

We always say our children learn, but we don't teach ! Exploring the world around them & making sense of it in relation to them is how they grow & mature.If they want a nap they nap, we have lot sof cuddles & fun It breaks my heart to see some of the little dots we have nurtured being pushed into the school system at just 4 when they do so well in a more homely less structured environment. (not parents choice at all!)

It might upset people to hear this but I think the worse thing the govt ever did was make PLAY-groups into PRE-schools & therefore under OFSTED's educational umbrella. There were some lovely small playgroups led by a local group of parents often attached to the school or church hall. Some you could leave your kids at for afew hours, some needed mothers to stay & help & there would be a rota. The kids learnt to socialise & have fun at their own pace.

Now I'm not saying there should be NO supervision, OFSTED do the Care side too, quite rightly, to ensure safety standards & staff vetting procedures are followed. But let the children be children!

We have to comply with OFSTED to get our registration so parents can claim these blessed vouchers, but TBH I'd love tell OFSTED I didn't want them but why should "my" parents miss out?

So we fill in these forms & tell them what they want to hear, but we do the minimum so we can spend more time with the important people.....the children!

sorry to rant as you can see it's a hobby horse of mine!!

enid, we literally started doing a bit of phonics only last week. very low key. she seems to have learned about 4 or 5 letters so far, with very little effort. (just letters in her/ her sister's name, so far)

flippin eck, they get how many years of having to meet government targets learn stuff at school and so on, let a 3 year old be 3 year old!

geeky we'd love to but in our last OFSTED inspection the things we were marked down on were literacy & numeracy strategies!!

For 3-5's FFS!!!

ok, trouble is that expectations for autumn term reception can be crazily high. i was told that dd1 was 'behind' with her reading at AUTUMN half term, when she was in rec.

not surprising that i'm reacting to this a bit with dd2, and doing a bit of phonics earlier.

not sure i approve of it. still doing it, though.

bossy, what a great post. Hear hear. And it's heartening to hear that's where a provider is coming from. I totally agree with you about it being a shame that play groups are now pre-schools and under that educational umbrella.

Bossybritches - we once got a comment on a report because we didn't have a word bank in our 3 yr old room so they could copy familiar words on their work! Arggghhhh! Tried to explain that no one in the group was developmentally able and that if they were staff would consider such things but Ofsted said it so it went in the report!

I think sometimes OFSTED feel they HAVE to have something to comment on to make sure there is something to work on for next time!

We were told by a previous inspector we were on course for an "excellent" grade if we kept on doing what we were doing & keeping up the standards we had set. But no this last one would NOT have it that we didn't have monitoring systems in place to ensure we tracked the lieracy & numeracy skills of ALL the children above 3. So we got an overall good with an Excellent for Caring & achieving but nice comments so tha made up for it. a bit!!

Back to work I'm supposed to be doing accounts but it's sooo boring.!

Meant to say we DO record their achievements but not the way SHE wanted them kept!!

Honoria - I agree that children "take" to school in totally different ways.

I hated school for years, didn't settle well etc. My daughter has taken to it like a duck to water. Other children bawl outside at 9am not wanting to go in.

It would be really lovely if all children could start school when they were ready... at some time between 2 and 7. How could this be achieved?

Noonar - it seems like some parents put pressure on their school (to do more 'real' work), and then the head f school puts pressure on the teachers, who in turn put pressure on the children and parents...and so the expectations rise higher and higher...

I totally understand you helping your DD to prepare her - its just such a shame that you need to do that...a shame she needs to have those expectations on her at such a young age.

So what can we as parents do then?

Anna - in Australia children must turn 5 by the April of their first year (remember school year in antipodes is Feb-December), which the equivelent of saying 'all children must be 5 before 1st of November' here. I think its a step in the right direction.

My DS has a March birthday, so he will be able to start at 4 years 10 months (and be one of the youngest) or at 5 years 10 months (and be one of the oldest). I think its wonderful that parents are given the choice -it shows respect for parents knowing their children best, and respect for childrens developmental differences.

sorry, I should say in New South Wales, as not all Australian States have the same rules.

Just to add to this, my neighbour is a registered childminder who is planning to stop, as more regulations are coming in requiring her to formally monitor the children's progress/have goals to work towards etc in a similar way to nurseries.

This is such a shame and means that if parents are going out to work then, unless their children are being looked after by a relative, they have no choice but to enter their children into the "system" - if she is right then there is not even an option to find a childminder who can let the children just "be" in the same way that they can at home.

i've only read the OP but agree entirely. I was told by a mother the other day in the playground that if i don't send my 3 year old to nursery he will 'get a good kicking' when he gets to school.

Also agree children start school far too early. Think 6 is a much better age.

but your nursery sounds v nice bossybritches...

Lol ruty thanks!! We keep it as homely as possible & only small.

I agree with you actually I think 5-6 is a good age for formal school with an increasing amount of good quality other care (nursery/CM/nanny) before hand if both parents are working.

Crumpet- that's exactly the point I meant to make earlier, all this paperwork & "goal-setting" actually detracts from the quality of care the children are getting IMHO.Such a shame your neighbour is stopping. Make sure she writes to her local council & OFSTED to let them know why as well!!

I think OFSTED ought to do their "Care inspections" as they do now so CM's & small nurseries like us can be registered (& therefore of a reputable quality one would hope!) but not have to have any educational inspections at all unless we request one.

It drives me mad that all they go on about during inspections are the "funded children", "How are the funded children doing x,y,z?" as if we put the non-funded ones in a cupboard till they turn three!!

They really aren't interested in the overall quality of the provision merely justifying the vast funding the govt is paying out to parents, by ticking lots of boxes.

Me.....bothered naahhh!!!!

yes! Quality, well funded, play/talk/explore based child care, then school at 6. Brilliant. Now lets run for PM.

Gawd when we rule the country watch out eh?

also free chocolate for all mums...fair trade of course