to think that the life of pre-school age children is NOT all about 'getting ready fo school'?

[Astrophe]

My DD is 3. I stared taking her to a kiddie gymnastics type thing - 45 minute session once a week in September, thinking she would enjoy it. She doesn't. She has given it a really good try I think - she went all of last half term, and one week this half term. But she finds it very upsetting - no idea why.

When I told them his week that I wasn't going to bring her any more, I copped a lecture from the ladies who run it about how DD "needs to learn to stick at things" and how she "wont get on at school" if she doesn't learn to separate from me better (she is fine elsewhere btw) and that its important for school that children attend these sorts of groups.

It makes me so angry that they think they know my child better than me, but what upsets me more is the attitude that everything a pre-school age child does needs to be preparation for school.

Life as a three year old is important in its own right, not just as practice for being 4! I see this attitude everywhere - friends giving their pre-school DC worksheets 'to prepare them for school' and taking them to so many activities in order to 'build their stamina for school'

Childhood is so fleeting and so precious, it just makes me so sad.

I don't think its helped by the fact that children start school 2 years too early in this country (imho).

So AIBU? Am I setting my child up to be 'unprepared' for school and hence an abysmal failure in life???

ibblewob - you might be able to find a good nursery should you decide to send him. My DD goes to the local surestart one, and it is just wonderful - great staff, great building, great equipment - they paint, play with soil and sand, ride bikes, sing songs etc and i am really happy with their philosophy on education (although i have seen first hand the pressure they are under from certain parents of children who wil start school next year).

I hope you wont feel under pressure to send him though, if you don't want to. What children need is a loving, stimulating environment with lots of talk and interaction and freedom to explore. Whether they have this all at home, or some at home and some at nursery is completely a matter of what suits the family.

Unfortunately there are some parents who are not able/inclined to give any of this, which is where good nurseries are absolutely crucial. Your DS, however, will be fine whatever you choose by the sounds of things

Madness!!!

Ds goes to nursery 5 mornings a week but it's more playing be it messy play, adventures outside, playing with toys inside etc etc - he loves it and it's a fab place. My reason wasn't for stucture but for him to build confidence away from mummy with a big group of kids around the same age so he's ready for when he HAS to go to school around age 5! (as I remember being terrified of leaving school, thrown in at all day every day).

What upsets me is I'm a childminder and from Sept next year, we will have to formally plan learning goals (age appropriate), do observations etc etc. and we are currently training for it now. FFS, I've had a babies start at age 7 weeks and 8 weeks (7 week old 5 weeks prem so more like a newborn) and we are STILL supposed to do observations for this bloody age. I think parents should be able to choose these things and it's like the government are trying to institutionalise children from such a young age - very sad

Right, rant over.

YADNBU!

Oh.... just notice Theprisoner here

TP - do you reckon those in CM Club who've said they will do permission forms and not observe if a parent doesn't wish them to, will get away with this? I'm seriously liking that idea.

FFS....I won't be doing obs and planning for my own ds, does that mean he's missing out and I'm a crap mum to him - no it bloody doesn't!!!

Oh dear....I really didn't mean to take over there, sore point and I'm hormonal (pg) so just ignore me!!

Good point Looney, you are a terrible mother and should be reported to social services, for not giving your son the best start in life. HOWEVER, your paper work and obs for your minded children is deemed Outstanding! Yay!

I seriously think that if a parent doesn't not want you to observe and plan and teach as per Ofsted rules, you should be able to say so.

And in answer to the OP, yanbu!

Really interesting thread.
I am SAHM, DS1 came to M&T groups with me until he was 2.5 then he started going to a local playgroup 3 monrings a week. This september when he was 3.5 he has started going to the nursery class at the primary school. They play indoors doing painting and cars and dressing up and jigsaw puzzles and then they get their coats on and play outside on cars and bikes or just run round like loonies then they get their coats off and come inside for more play and a story. I love it, he loves it, and it is preparing him for school. He is learning to take his shoes off and on without me forgetting he is nearly 4 and doing it for him. He is learning to form friendships with the children who are going to be in his class. He is learning new songs and games. He is learning that there are some children he likes more than others. He is learning road sense as we walk the mile there and back each day. He is learning all sorts of things - through play.
I don't feel he is institutionalised to early. There are 24 hours in a day he sleeps for 12 of them and is at "pre-school" for 2.5 of them the rest of the time he is with me and DS2 and I enjoy the time we all have together very much. I can really see that he is getting alot out of Preschool at the moment.

All that said, I think that anyone that suggests that a childs Gym class is supposed to be preparation for school seems to be missing the point of these activities for little ones.

I never went anywhere on my own until I was 5.5. My mum tried to take me to playschool but I was a Madam and kicked up until she let me stay at home. She took me to toddler groups until I was 5! Then she sent me to school and I leapt in head first and enjoyed it thoroughly.

I agree, children are being 'got ready for school' when they have only just got out of nappies! Reception is supposed to be for getting ready for school, that's why it's not bloody compulsory (although no school will ever tell you that unless you ask directly). Preschool is just that - BEFORE school. Not 'prepschool', preschool.

Yo Mo - I'm a crap mum and proud of it You know what......he loves me to BITS and that's all that matters to me, that he's HAPPY and LOVED

Exactly, parents should be able to choose but would we be 'prosecuted' like we've been told we can, if this was the situation?

Sorry hun, but it ain't gonna be my problem. Wish you all lots of luck with it though and I'll watch and listen with advice and interest.