to think that sil should pay me to look after her child?

[tegan]

I have been hvaing him 1 day a week since he was 4 months old, the other days he is passed between various family members. The child is nearly 2 and i have offered not to accept a full time job but to look after him full time (8 til 6)for £50 a week. She is mortified. AIBU

Why is she mortified? or do you mean horrified?

i think £50 is dead cheap i would of expected you to ask for more or tell her you cant do it anymopre and except the full time job it'll be more than £50 a week

she cant expect you to look after her son for nothing and then pass up on an income while she is obviously getting an income id tell her you cant look after him anymore yanbu

You're a saint for looking after him for so long without payment!!
YANBU

No I think she IBU to assume that looking after her child is a job that is not worth monitary reward. Also I think that she could also see just £50 a week as being expenses for food etc while he is with you, it hardly consitutes payment.
Does she get paid for her full time job - Thought so!
People like this make me mad

I think by the way if i have not already got my point across that YANBU just a sint for having done it for so long

I think she is getting a bloody good deal. She needs to think again. I have a friend whose child goes to kids club 2 days a week ie. half an hour on both mornings before school and 3.30 till 6.00pm and she pays around £100 per month just for those hours.

you are selling yourself short
its hard work!

she reminds me of denise from royale family farming out baby to anyone who will take them..its sad

like i said he currently gets passed between me and his nans which isn't ideal. and as such he still doesn't talk as he doesn't have constant one to one attention. both nans put him in front of the tv. he never asks for food or drinks as he is left in his own company so often. Dh and love having him as well as our own dds and thought it would be ideal for him to have some stability.

it is fair that you receive fair renumeration - tactfully discuss it with SIL. people can often make informal arrangements on the hoof and overlook the details, maybe genuine oversight unintended your SIL might have overlooked things and wrongly assumed it was ok

you are a star for helping her out
hope this resolves well

my dd's childminder charges £25 a DAY for full-time, and she's not expensive.

Take your job, you've done enough for your SIL

A saint

Sorry to put a downer on this but if you accept payment for looking after him you will be breaking the law. You need to be an Ofsted Registered Childminder. Someone could report you.

Sorry!

Oops don't know why bold didn't work.

OMG! Poor baby being shoved from pillar to post.

Is it your dh's sister?

Can't he say something to her?

And fwiw I pay my c/minder more than £50 per week & she has him fewer hours than you would have your nephew

Either tell her you are looking for a full time job, or ask her to pay you.

Did you offer to look after nephew at the beginning & now it has gotten out of hand?

Strawberry, I thought it was ok if it was a family member? Wasn't there a new law brought in a wee while back?

Oh, not sure. Will post on CM board. Could well be true, if so I apologise. I realise relatives look after children all the time without being registered but I'm sure when you get paid it's a different matter.

The original arrangement was that i would have him 2 days a week he would be in nursery 2 days a week and she would have a day off with him, well it has never happened.

she is dh's sister but he won't say anything as he won't rock the boat.

I have been offered a full time office job on good money but i have been a sahm for 4 years and would prefer to be able to be around for my kids so this would be ideal.

If she paid you she could claim tax credits against part of the cost but you may need to register as you are not immediate family. If she is still mortified tell her to look elsewhere and find a registered cm (or more likely another mug in the family) as you now need to earn and feel valued.

i would be happy for her to buy my kids things or pay for me to have my hair done now and again, i just feel being taken advantage of and i would be doing this for my nephews benefit in the long run

yanbu

Surely you can get round the payment thing by saying it's for expenses?

I get really annoyed over the money issue. DH earns £20000 a year and supports a family of 4 with the normal bills and mortgage, she has a £60000 a year job, her bloke gets about £18000 they have a brand new car and rent so they can still have a life, but i have bought nappies, clothes and feed her child when i have him and have never had a penny from her.

but why do you want to look after him, for virtually nothing? It's incredibly kind of you, but she doesn't seem the sort that will appreciate it, and your own career and family will miss out.

My Mum used to do this for a friend years ago and they split her friend's wages 50/50! So YANBU.

YANBU

As far as I am aware, it is illegal for an unregistered childminder to look after a child for reward. However, £50 would just cover food, electric, water, heating, etc. Therefore, if anyone were to question you, you would not be doing it for reward. Your SIL would simply be paying for his food etc. Am I wrong?

Well you are a mug, she is taking the mick out of you.