To ban my parents from using mobile phones

[AndromedaGal]

I am fed up instructing my parents (in late 60's) how to use their mobiles. They don't even know how to turn the volume up properly, so all you hear when you call them is "Hello? Hello?...." Followed by an inevitable pause then, "Oh. Er, it doesn't appear to be working Pam. How do I........." and then lots of intermittent sounds as they randomly press buttons, followed by me being inevitably cut off. This has been going on for years. It's just painful.

They ring people inadvertently when they've stashed their phones in their back pockets because they don't know how to lock the keypads.
They send text messages to landlines.

They delete contacts, forget to turn them on when they're out and about (so what's the effing point having one) and lose them ALL.THE.TIME. And accessing the internet on their phones just causes a whole new level of trauma.

Why can't they learn the basic principles of mobile phone usage? They're intelligent and manage very well independently. But it's so exasperating as they don't always take their phones with them, and when they do, they have them turned off.

I think they should just stick to their landline TBH. Anyone else experience similar??

Yes of course that's what I'm suggesting. obviously it isn't

Very much seems to be. Perhaps you could explain in what other way your comment could be interpreted?

Laughing at someone does not become ageist just because that someone is elderly.

Three cheers for Gingernaut Dad he's spot on

I find this thread quite funny and sweet actually.
My dad is in his mid 80s and is brilliant with mobiles and computers. He will always be the first in the queue to get the latest iPhone Recently he’s been booking covid vaccines appointments for all their friends who can’t use a computer and other members of the family, sometimes having to wake up at 4am to get the first slots being released (different country).
My mother is 10 years younger than him but is useless with phones and has never used a computer. Recently she left her smart phone outside in the garden and of course it got ruined under the rain. She’s great at other things but is just not interested in technology (and relies on my dad!).
I don’t think this thread is ageist - my 85 yo dad is the first to lose patience with (and make fun of) my mum’s clumsiness with her phone or my uncle who calls him every now and then to debug his computer because he’s clicked on a stupid link/virus.

Lockdown has forced my parents to use fb.
They've got it that if a friend posts something they also get an email.

I'm like just switch your notifications off. But they don't know how to do that it's fine .

I think they like getting emails from people.

Mum also doesn't like getting junk mail which is personalised for them. She doesn't understand how mail merge works

And so nobody in a decade other than their 60's does any of these things?

Of course this is ageist.....

You sound delightful

@Operasinger

Don't get me started on the "Netflix is not Amazon Prime and neither of them are BBC iPlayer" debacle. Also it has to be plugged in to the TV, not the DVD player. I regret buying them that firestick. Quite tempted to super glue all the HDMI cables into the TV so they can't fuck with them to be honest.

Nice! Oh well, at least they could be trusted to change your nappies.

I wouldn't expect an infant to be able to change their own nappies.

I absolutely would expect someone intelligent and in full possession of their faculties to be able to operate a TV.

I've reported this OP. I'm so utterly fucked off with the casual ageism on Mumsnet which is so prevalent just now.
I've in my 60s and have been here since my now adult children were babies.....and somehow still managing to grasp my mobile in my gnarled fingers and cobble together a response
Stop being so fucking rude OP...
.

And so nobody in a decade other than their 60's does any of these things?

Nobody has said that. In fact people have said its got nothing to do with age, and there are many examples of the opposite.

Of course this is ageist...

No. See above. It is categorically not ageist. I'm not sure you actually know what that means.

Oh I hear ya! My dad bought a mobile.....took great delight in telling me all about it. Then when I rang it and couldn't get through he told me it was on top of the living room unit, switched off so they didn't have to keep charging it all the time 😂

And he still refuses to ring people's mobiles from his home phone because he thinks 'it costs an arm and a leg'

@PuppyMonkey

My MIL is forever forgetting passwords to everything. She's got about six Facebook profiles because she's always getting locked out of her old account and has to start new ones. When it's her birthday, I get a notification "Sheila and five other people have their birthday today" - the five other people are all her.

That’s brilliant

@IbrahimaRedTwo

And so nobody in a decade other than their 60's does any of these things?

Nobody has said that. In fact people have said its got nothing to do with age, and there are many examples of the opposite.

Of course this is ageist...

No. See above. It is categorically not ageist. I'm not sure you actually know what that means.

Would you like to enlighten me IRT? I'm all ears....

I just forwarded the thread to my elderly parents. My mum has read some of the anecdotes and is having a good laugh. She’s feeling better that she’s not an isolated case!

Would you like to enlighten me IRT? I'm all ears....

What enlightenment do you need? Which of my words confused you?

The thing is they were ok with the older-style phones & mum is good with Facebook- I think they just don’t like the new i-phones as there’s so much on there to get their heads around

My DH is 50.

He is like this.

Refuses to learn anything involving "the fucking internet", cannot even send an email.

If he wants to check the football scores and I make him do it himself, he holds my tablet like he just found the Holy Grail and starts delicately touching the screen with his pinky finger outstretched, scrolling super slow as if he thinks "the internet" will fall out of the top of the screen or suck him inside if he pushes too hard.

All smooth dollops of plastic which light up are magical and unfathomable, apparently. Actually it doesn't always need to light up, he is also highly suspicious of TV based remote controls that posses too many buttons.

He can make mobile calls and send texts but there is much beep beep beeping involved as he gets the wrong menu choices. He has owned a mobile since the nineties.

I have tried to teach him simple things but it always descends into me losing the will to live very quickly because he just simply will not read the words or look at the symbols on the screen. Let's face it, most consumer tech is geared towards people who might need a lot of help. There are screen prompts and instructions everywhere, but you do have to actively bleeding look at them to get the benefit.

Does my fucking head in.

Oh my this thread is killing me 😆. My parents exactly the same! Me and my sister argue over who’s turn it is to be the h support because it’s so painful!

However they can do many many things I can’t, not a practical bone in my body, they are diy pros. I’m sure they are as exasperated with me as I am with them!

FYI it’s not ageist if it’s true - not everyone over 60 struggles with tech but it’s ok to acknowledge a significant number do. After the painful bit is over we usually laugh together later on. No mean spirit.

*PuppyMonkey
*
Both my parents have lots of Facebook profiles because they tried it a decade ago and can't remember the passwords or what email addresses they used. Now they have started using it more I get so confused which profile is their live one.

@Coconut2010

Pleased they’ve got some lighthearted fun out of it!! My parents are the first to see the humour in what they do, I have in the past watched my dad hold his mobile upside down to his ear. He told me it wasn’t working, so I just spun it round for him & he gave me a thumbs up

The thing is these "thick" ,"annoying" , eye roll worthy people have wiped your shit covered arses for years .

Assuming they're decent,loving parents how many hours have they spent teaching you how to hold a spoon? Tie shoe laces? Do up a button? How to wipe properly? Not to lick the pavement and eat off the floor? How much effort,time and money have they put in to ensure you had a good education,opportunities,access to technology etc. How many hours have they spent listening to inane chatter about nothing and everything?

It wasn't easy, it was like GroundHog day, frustrating and I'm sure they had better things to do too.

Now they're thick and idiots and "they're gonna get themselves blocked".

Well I’m the same I’m 57 and I’m so not interested in tech.
I’ve an email address but I never email anyone ( who ami going to email?)
I’ve a mobile. I can do online shopping, same password for everything. Online banking. And WhatsApp for texting and photos.
Is an old fashioned day nav a map?
I used to know everyone’s phone number at one time when we had to remember them don’t know any now.
Absolutely leaves me cold.

@IbrahimaRedTwo

Would you like to enlighten me IRT? I'm all ears....

What enlightenment do you need? Which of my words confused you?

I really cannot be bothered....

You will be in your 60s one day and, if people like me have not fought your cause, you will still have the unenlightened assuming you are incompetent simply because of your age.....

And the fucking thing changes my correctly spelled words to gobbledegook.

@Tlollj

And the fucking thing changes my correctly spelled words to gobbledegook.

Are you in your 60s? That'll be the reason. If you were younger you'd be able to stop that from happening

Cos that never happens to anyone but us....

Some of these posts are funny, some are just judgemental.
Technology isn't easy for everyone, so what?