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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ban my parents from using mobile phones

351 replies

AndromedaGal · 19/04/2021 13:27

I am fed up instructing my parents (in late 60's) how to use their mobiles. They don't even know how to turn the volume up properly, so all you hear when you call them is "Hello? Hello?...." Followed by an inevitable pause then, "Oh. Er, it doesn't appear to be working Pam. How do I........." and then lots of intermittent sounds as they randomly press buttons, followed by me being inevitably cut off. This has been going on for years. It's just painful.

They ring people inadvertently when they've stashed their phones in their back pockets because they don't know how to lock the keypads.
They send text messages to landlines.

They delete contacts, forget to turn them on when they're out and about (so what's the effing point having one) and lose them ALL.THE.TIME. And accessing the internet on their phones just causes a whole new level of trauma.

Why can't they learn the basic principles of mobile phone usage? They're intelligent and manage very well independently. But it's so exasperating as they don't always take their phones with them, and when they do, they have them turned off.

I think they should just stick to their landline TBH. Anyone else experience similar??

OP posts:
abc4321 · 19/04/2021 17:34

Just to add I think it comes down to confidence in having a go. Both sets of our parents think they need formal lessons rather than just learning through trying. I think they're very nervous about "breaking" their phone or computer.

mosgirl · 19/04/2021 17:35

Your parents are adults. You can't ban them from doing anything.
There are so many ageist comments on this thread.

Arbadacarba · 19/04/2021 17:36

I am the family tech support person but I have been since the 1980s when my parents were only in their 40s.

I think some people fear technology, regardless of age - they think if they press the wrong button, the device will explode or something.

Lweji · 19/04/2021 17:38

People who posted screaming ageism, particularly those who claimed there are many ageist posts, could you give specific examples? As in a list, to demonstrate how ageist the thread is. And please explain why you consider them ageist.

(the opening post is, but the thread and many posts on it?Hmm)

Original poster
AndromedaGal · 19/04/2021 17:38

lol to the posters who are telling me I can’t ban their phones. I can.

I’d just give them one of the remote controls for the tele. They wouldn’t know the difference Smile

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 19/04/2021 17:39

@Curlygirl06

My dad was given a printer and was trying to connect it to his computer. Cue swearing and cursing, peering at the instructions, more swearing. Eventually (after hours and hours) my mum rang me. The land line was in the hall, so she's sat on the stairs shouting questions from him and responses from me, you get the picture. Anyway, I'm asking questions and not getting far, and then I asked if dad had the printer on his desktop. Mum toddled off to look, came back and said " no, he's got it on the windowsill". I had to put the phone down.
Grin Grin Grin
idontlikealdi · 19/04/2021 17:40

It's really not. Its fucking infuriating when people who are totally capable refuse to engage.

IbrahimaRedTwo · 19/04/2021 17:40

Saying something negative about people who happen to be old is not ageist.
It's not their age that prevents them from being able to use a mobile phone.

Macaronirabbit · 19/04/2021 17:41

My DH is in his late 50s and until the last year or 2 has been quite rubbish with mobiles. Then he got a new phone (not dissimilar to his previous one) and suddenly "got it" I've no idea what changed! Now hes always emailing, whatsapping and checking sports results, on his phone and uses it for everything, 2 years ago he insisted it wasnt possible to do that! However he doesnt find anything new (websites/apps etc) intuative at all.

Roussette · 19/04/2021 17:42

If you had no inkling at all of using modern technology I would have thought that you would need someone to show you the basics to start you off. This kind of thing isn't intuitive for everybody

Well.... I worked for an IT company in the 80s when computer terminals were the size of a room and I mastered word processing then when it came in, so from there on I think I did it myself. But maybe my memory is failing!

Nanny0gg · 19/04/2021 17:43

@mosgirl

Your parents are adults. You can't ban them from doing anything. There are so many ageist comments on this thread.
Not really. They're all moaning about specific people not just Oldies. (I'm late 60s and more than competent)
Nanny0gg · 19/04/2021 17:46

If you had no inkling at all of using modern technology I would have thought that you would need someone to show you the basics to start you off. This kind of thing isn't intuitive for everybody.

Nope. I learnt to use a computer by taking one home from school (back in the days of Acorns) and taught myself with a manual
Same with my first PC (DOS)
So I've just carried on really. I quite like manuals (sad)

MrsTreglowan · 19/04/2021 17:47

If I tried to ban my Mum from anything I'd get told exactly where I could go and not to be so bloody full of myself, fortunately she's brilliant with her phone and her computer(s) she even runs the local whatsapp group

Roussette · 19/04/2021 17:49

Ditto NannyOgg
I was just fascinated by it all and wanted to know more.

But if, when computers first came out, you thought 'sod this, I'm not doing computers' you would find it hard if you've tried to avoid it all your life.

MrsPnut · 19/04/2021 17:50

My DH is like this, he cannot use any kind of technology at all without stabbing at it and complaining that it isn't working.
He'll click and click at websites and not even consider that he's got every tab open for everything he's ever looked at on his phone and when we help him I spend 10 minutes closing safari tabs.

It wouldn't be too bad except he's a software developer and has been for 30 years.

wobblyweasel · 19/04/2021 17:53

My parents are in their 70s and are quite fine with using their mobile phones and other technology. My DGM was another matter, we got her a very basic video player, and my god the trouble we had just explaining it to her. I don't think she ever used it unless we were there. We wanted to get her Sky TV- she went into panic mode saying she'd never be able to work it. She flat out refused to get a mobile phone. Bless her...

Lockheart · 19/04/2021 17:54

I feel your pain. I hate playing tech support for my parents. They buy themselves more advanced things than they need and which they don't know how to use.

I'm desperately trying to persuade them not to get (another) wireless printer, because the last three have been abject failures - not the printers, but in terms of user error... Last time I was home my dad told me it wasn't working. It was working just fine, my dad was trying to print to one of the previous (perfectly good) ones that they'd chucked and didn't have anymore but the software for which was still on his laptop.

I hope they get a normal USB-connecting printer next time, it would save me so many headaches.

Don't get me started on the "Netflix is not Amazon Prime and neither of them are BBC iPlayer" debacle. Also it has to be plugged in to the TV, not the DVD player. I regret buying them that firestick. Quite tempted to super glue all the HDMI cables into the TV so they can't fuck with them to be honest.

Operasinger · 19/04/2021 17:54

@Fairyliz

Wow a hint of racism and you will be banned for life, but you are allowed to post this ageist shit?
Apparently it's fine with Mumsnet.
Operasinger · 19/04/2021 17:56

I've been told it's not ageist

No it's not. FGS LIGHTEN UP

Yes, lets all laugh heartily at those older than us, excellent way to behave.

saraclara · 19/04/2021 17:56

I have ranted many many times in MN about ageism. But yes, though I'm slightly uncomfortable with this thread, apart from the OP's independence comment, I don't think I can point to ageism itself in many comments.

Though I do think that those who didn't grow up with computers or digital technology, and didn't need to use it at work, could be given a bit more of a pass. Most younger people are blissfully unaware of just how much knowledge they absorbed and adapted to over the years, that people over 60 didn't have the same opportunities to learn.. The comment about the DM who didn't know the digital meaning of desktop is classic in that regard, and that's before she has to learn the basics that even pre schoolers will know.

So yep, not ageist as such, but many posts are somewhat unreasonable and unempathetic

Original poster
AndromedaGal · 19/04/2021 17:57

@Operasinger

Why read the thread & continue to post? You’re clearly intent on pursuing an imagined slight. It’s meant to be lighthearted!! It’s not ageist, so give it up.

OP posts:
IbrahimaRedTwo · 19/04/2021 17:57

Yes, lets all laugh heartily at those older than us, excellent way to behave

Are you suggesting we can't laugh at people who are older than us, when they do something funny? They are, be virue of age, off limits?
THAT is ageism.

Operasinger · 19/04/2021 17:57

Don't get me started on the "Netflix is not Amazon Prime and neither of them are BBC iPlayer" debacle. Also it has to be plugged in to the TV, not the DVD player. I regret buying them that firestick. Quite tempted to super glue all the HDMI cables into the TV so they can't fuck with them to be honest.

Nice! Oh well, at least they could be trusted to change your nappies.

Operasinger · 19/04/2021 17:58

@IbrahimaRedTwo

Yes, lets all laugh heartily at those older than us, excellent way to behave

Are you suggesting we can't laugh at people who are older than us, when they do something funny? They are, be virue of age, off limits?
THAT is ageism.

Yes of course that's what I'm suggesting. obviously it isn't
Gingernaut · 19/04/2021 18:06

My mum is pretty good with tech, although she hates it. My dad is the same, although he had a Facebook account for all of 24 hours before he asked me how it could be deleted as it was full of twats

To be fair to your DF, @Rocinante, he's not wrong. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤗