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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want kids after 30?

387 replies

Pennyblossomx · 19/04/2021 08:54

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 19/04/2021 11:36

@araiwa

Yes. 30 kids is enough
Grin
Ginuwine · 19/04/2021 11:37

@WhySoSensitive

What on earth was the point of this thread?

You haven’t even made it discussion worthy.

It's already at 200 posts and climbing.

The irony is it doesn't have to be "discussion worthy" in its craft for it to kick off and give the OP an ego boost etc

It just has to contain a few trigger words around age and life choices, and boom! Will be a 15 or 20 page thread by the end of the day

Flowers24 · 19/04/2021 11:38

I also wanted to have mine by 30 and just managed it, only because fertility declines after 35

Kpo58 · 19/04/2021 11:40

What is the point of this thread?

You have kids and don't want more. That's fine. The age thing is irrelevant.

When clicking on the thread I was expecting: I'm 28.5 years old and childless. I have been with my BF for 2 weeks. I want to get pregnant now because I don't want kids past 30.

This would have been a totally different thread with a completely different set of answers from people.

Christmasfairy2020 · 19/04/2021 11:41

I was sterilised at 26 after my 2nd dd xx

Candyfloss99 · 19/04/2021 11:46

So you just don't want anymore kids, what has your age got to do with it?

Inastatus · 19/04/2021 11:46

Up to you innit!

brushlaptop · 19/04/2021 11:47

Why would you get flamed? Totally your decision! If you are lucky enough to meet your partner early it's actually much better for your body to have kids earlier rather than later x

UCOinanOCG · 19/04/2021 11:48

Well you are lucky enough to have had two children before age 30 so there is no issue is there?

wesowereonabreak · 19/04/2021 11:49

Pennyblossomx

you are there?

EmbarrassingMama · 19/04/2021 11:49

Well done you for not being an old mum.

Yawn.

pheasantsinlove · 19/04/2021 11:50

Genuinely OP, who gives a shit?!! There is no point to this thread at all. You've not even come back to post anything about why you felt the need to post in the first place. What conversation are you trying to create.

Have more kids or don't have more kids. Random strangers on the internet don't give a shit what you do 🤷‍♀️

bishbashbosh99 · 19/04/2021 11:51

I don't think anyone really cares what your cut off is,. But if this is a fascinating topic nowadays then mine was 40.

vannyy · 19/04/2021 11:51

In the past women had more dc so did to have them in their 20s through to their 40s.

"Fertility among women aged 40-44 in 1947 was 19 births per thousand women in England and Wales. In 2010 the number was 13"

"In the 1940s around 75% of births to women over 40 were to mothers who already had at least two children. In 2010, by contrast, 61% of births to women in their forties were first or second children."

YellowTwinklyStar · 19/04/2021 11:51

Ginuwine what a weird thing to do

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 19/04/2021 11:54

@wesowereonabreak

Pennyblossomx

you are there?

She's too busy being young to reply to us.
Embracelife · 19/04/2021 11:54

Your decision
But you don't know what the future holds

MarshaBradyo · 19/04/2021 11:55

Up to you. I couldn’t see myself with a dc at 21 as you did but we all can make a decision on it.

throwa · 19/04/2021 11:55

I didn't want kids before I was 30. I wanted to establish my career first and to be able to return to work at a senior level after having them.

Some people don't want kids at all. Some people want 4 kids. Some people want 2 kids.

The point is - who cares? You have your kids when it is right for you yourself to have them, when it works for your particular life, and you have as many or as few as you want (nowadays we are very lucky that there are a range of contraceptives which help with all of these, rather than 'having' to have lots of children from an early age.

Unless of course you want them and you can't, in which case Flowers

Frazzled2207 · 19/04/2021 11:57

you're not at all unreasonable to feel you've had enough after 2 children. Very strange to be basically asking for permission to stop???

Yanbu to stop.
but YABU if you're suggesting (if you are) that it's wrong to have them older. Mine came along in my late 30s and I have no regrets whatsoever.

Heysiriyouknob · 19/04/2021 11:57

Don't then.

I was the same. Had my first at 22.

Then I got divorced and met now Dh at 32. Had two more at 34 and last year at age 40.

HelpMeh · 19/04/2021 11:57

You're no more unreasonable than me, who doesn't want any at any age 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Ileflottante · 19/04/2021 12:01

Presumably even at your ‘young’ age you can figure out how to work a condom?

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 19/04/2021 12:08

Is anyone saying you have to have a baby after 30? If not, there’s no issue is there? And if anyone is forcing you to have a baby after 30 then there are bigger issues at play.

HoppingPavlova · 19/04/2021 12:09

Yes, okay, you’ve made a decision for you, why would anyone else care?

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