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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want kids after 30?

387 replies

Pennyblossomx · 19/04/2021 08:54

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

OP posts:
TheOneWithTheBigNose · 19/04/2021 12:09

I personally didn’t want kids before 30. I was still establishing my career. Ended up having them at 30, 32 and 35 and now I’m done!

Wizzbangfizz · 19/04/2021 12:11

I personally would have hated to have kids on my 20s, and will be strongly encouraging my two to do the same. My 20s was spent building my career, travelling, enjoying myself mainly. Kids are hard work in the early years and I'm glad I had built a life around myself which I could return to when I came out of the early years fog.

AgathaAllAlong · 19/04/2021 12:14

I don't understand this question. It's just how you feel, isn't it? If you didn't have two kids already you might feel differently. People hit different life stages at different ages, prioritise different things, have different levels of energy etc.

ThisIsMeOrIsIt · 19/04/2021 12:14

YABVU to even ask this question. Clearly you know it's not unreasonable as it's your choice and circumstances.

I'm not sure why you bothered to make a thread about it. To make people like me who had my first child at 37 feel bad?

VettiyaIruken · 19/04/2021 12:15

Were you hoping to get those who completed their families before age 30 and those who completed theirs after age 30 at each others throats?

Hesma · 19/04/2021 12:17

I would only flame you if you were saying no one should have them after 30. You’re happy, it works for you and that’s great. Personally at your age I was career focussed, had bought a house and was about to move to Oz for 4 years so kids were the last thing on my mind. I had mine at 36 and 39 but hey ho each to their own 🙂

Threebecomesfour · 19/04/2021 12:17

Not at all. And I wasn't unreasonable for enjoying my 20s footloose and fancy-free, travelling the world, before having my kids in my 30s. Different strokes for different folks.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 19/04/2021 12:17

I had my two at 30 and 32. It seems like a good age as we were married, owned a decent house and were both established in our careers. I am still one of the youngest Mums at the school gate and DH is definitely youngest Dad.

Candyfloss99 · 19/04/2021 12:20

You would not be unreasonable if you didn't want any kids at all and to be footloose and fancy free your whole life so I don't see how you could imagine you would be in any way unreasonable to have none after 30.

BettysCardigan · 19/04/2021 12:25

Why is it that threads which begin 'I'll probably get totally flamed for this' are so very, very boring.

TheOneWithTheBigNose · 19/04/2021 12:26

@BettysCardigan

Why is it that threads which begin 'I'll probably get totally flamed for this' are so very, very boring.
Yes, they’re always completely mundane and unflameworthy!
BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 19/04/2021 12:29

@araiwa

Yes. 30 kids is enough
Grin Grin
WhySoSensitive · 19/04/2021 12:31

Ginuwine I meant discussion worthy WITH the OP if that makes sense?
The rest of us will join together in discussing a pointless thread though! 😂

TakeMe2Insanity · 19/04/2021 12:33

Maybe when you get a little older you’ll realise that life doesn’t always turn out how you’d like.

Stoptalkingtome · 19/04/2021 12:34

I said that too and then had a last one at 35. Shock

Graffitiqueen · 19/04/2021 12:36

I was exactly 30 when i had my first child. Wish I'd waited longer to have my kids due to the impact on my career.

user159 · 19/04/2021 12:39

Personally I didn't want children before 30. But it doesn't bother me that you did!

coffeecup88 · 19/04/2021 12:41

I was the same but DC3 was born when I was 31. I won't have anymore now. The difference in how I handled the pregnancy at 26 and at 31 was marked

Dogman2020 · 19/04/2021 12:47

@imissthe90s

YANBU.

My friends are only just having babies while mine are grown up near enough, I couldn't think of anything worse than sleepless nights, baby sick and nappies now. I feel for those who have to deal with it in their 30s +.

They probably felt for you stuck at home changing nappies in your early 20's while they were off on lovely holidays and weekends out.

Each to their own hey.

shivawn · 19/04/2021 13:04

What a strange thread.

No its not unreasonable, the same way its not unreasonable for me to have never wanted to have children in my 20's because I was busy travelling and living life.

MixedUpFiles · 19/04/2021 13:09

You are more likely to be flamed for wanting a large number of children.

You had your kids relatively young, so you are done before 30. I don’t understand the intention of the post. Is this about age spread of kids? How long to extend your own child-bearing years? Or are you trying to start a discussion on the timing of becoming a mother?

Biscoffontoast · 19/04/2021 13:16

I didn’t want to have kids UNDER the age of 30... too many things I wanted to achieve first such as getting a good education and career established 😉

LST · 19/04/2021 13:16

I didn't want to go to uni and hadn't got the money to travel in my 20s so having kids then suited me. Now I am in a better situation financially and still 'young'. Everyone is different.

Biscoffontoast · 19/04/2021 13:19

@shivawn

What a strange thread.

No its not unreasonable, the same way its not unreasonable for me to have never wanted to have children in my 20's because I was busy travelling and living life.

Not strange at all. The OP clearly came on to be goady and insult those of us who actually wanted to experience other aspects of life before becoming a parent. What a sad little existence she must lead to get a kick out of starting threads like these. Anyway, it goes both ways - personally, I wouldn’t feel triumphant about having a five year old at the age of 26 but that’s just me 😁
CervixHaver · 19/04/2021 13:20

[quote Pennyblossomx]@Ginuwine I guess i then think about having say a 10 year old when I would be 40 and for some reason that puts me right off, I'm not sure why it just does.[/quote]
My Mum had me at 40 and my Dad was 45. Whilst I do think my Dad was certainly too old and very tired by the time we were born, my Mum certainly wasn't! I've learnt from it and won't be having anymore once I reach 45. However if the opportunity arises when I'm say, 40/41 then I'll go for it!