To not want kids after 30?

[Pennyblossomx]

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

How could that be unreasonable plus you already have dc.

Okay....so Do you want desperately want more kids but the only thing stopping you is that you would be 30? Are you planning on 3rd and someone is forcing you to wait another 4 years against your will?

Or are you just done with having kids?

You are not unreasonable if that us what you want. You are unreasonable if you think having kids in your 30's is wrong for everyone.

@Scrunchy95

You have used your twenties up having children when your peers are partying and growing their careers. Completely agree you can decide to grab your thirties for some personal growth. Go for it!

With 2 under 10s? Lol

FWIW the idea of having a first baby around 21 is pretty unpalatable to me.

This! It completely depends on your life style & peers. I had dc similar time to my friends (we all started in our 30s) even though a few of us had met our DHs at uni.

You started your family young and other people choose differently. Neither choice is wrong but an individual one. I'm glad I waited and enjoyed myself in my twenties rather than spend it on childcare.

Erm...how can you be unreasonable?! You don't need to justify this to anyone!!

Things can change.
I had two kids with my ex-husband at 26 and 29 as I felt the same as you. Was done.
Then divorced ex and met my now fiancé at 36. He had no kids. I had no intentions of having any more.
Changed my mind at 39 and we now have a 10 month-old baby girl. No regrets at all. She is totally adored!

People could choose to have or not have kids at whatever age they want. It doesn't really matter and I'm not sure why these kinds of threads crop up on MN so much. Why are people so obsessed with telling women that they are too old or too young to be a mother? Men don't get scrutinised in the same way.

@JellyNellie

I don't want more children after 30 either,I always wanted 4 children and that's what I have had my children at 18,20,22,23 and I don't want no more,we have been lucky we have a mortgage free house 🏠 and have been together since being 16&17,I couldn't imagine having children any older but that's me,my mum is 50 this year with a 10year old and she love it and says she wishes she had her older three children when she was in her 30s.

Have you done anything for yourself though? Yes you have a mortgage and kids. But are you working. Studying? You had your kids one right after another. That must have been very hard. No offence but I don't think that's a life.

can't imagine the hell that is dealing with children/teenagers, and the menopause.

I take some comfort in the fact that my peers will be going through the same thing together so we can commiserate. I'm not sure I would like to be at completely different life stages to my friends, I'd have none to do stuff with.

I’m sure if you didn’t have two kids already you would feel differently. You just happen to have met someone to have kids with before you turn 30z

@Pennyblossomx

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. But I just don't want anymore kids after I turn 30. I'm 26 got an almost 3 month old and a 5 year old and I just can't see myself wanting a baby after 30. AIBU?

I suspect I'll get flamed for this but I've just had 2 cups of tea and I don't want another one.

I don’t really understand your post - why would you be unreasonable? It’s your life and your choice. I wouldn’t have wanted kids before 30, but the same applies in reverse.

@WorraLiberty

I'm pleased I'm not the only one who was confused as to why the OP would be flamed for not wanting children with a 9+ year age gap

My "kids" are 24 & 22. I'm 51. But I do know some women who will still be on the school run in their mid 60's! We are all different I guess!

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. I just don't fancy chicken for dinner tonight.

If that’s how you feel that’s how you feel. Not sure why you have to come on here and say it. But you’re not unreasonable at all. In the same way you wouldn’t be unreasonable to want to have kids after 30. When you reach 30 you may not feel that old though!

[quote Pennyblossomx]@Ginuwine I guess i then think about having say a 10 year old when I would be 40 and for some reason that puts me right off, I'm not sure why it just does.[/quote]
See that will be me roughly, and for me personally it’s great. Each to their own. The thought of having one kid, let alone two in my twenties - not for me at all. I was enjoying uni, and working and partying. I have no regrets waiting till my thirties to have a kid.

Basically each to their own - you have one life, best to live it how you see fit.

@arethereanyleftatall

I suspect I'll get flamed for this. I just don't fancy chicken for dinner tonight.

Heartless bitch

🤣🤣

I expect I'll get flamed for this but I was too busy partying, travelling the world and setting up my successful business to have DC at 21.

Presumably you are struggling with the two you have.

Depends really. My 20s were a fabulous carefree time spent travelling the world, going out partying, making friends, building a career. Met DH in my early 30s and had kids mid 30s. So at 37 I have 2 young children. I love our family days spent playing/days out and luckily we have lots of willing babysitters so if DH and I fancy a night out together we can do that or we can go out separately with friends.

I suppose if I had my children in my 20s I would be more ‘free’ now but I still wouldn’t be able to go off travelling for months, or make a life decision to move cities just for the experience, or just spend a weekend drinking in the sunshine with friends on a whim. I also had lots of lovely relationships with men that I feel gave me the life experience I needed to help me decide that DH was ‘the one’. I think of the life I would have now with my boyfriend when I was 25 and I shudder (as much fun as he was at the time).

Of course you are not unreasonable to think you are finished before 30, especially after two. Entirely up to you.
I had two after 40 and that's not unreasonable either.

No one cares

[quote Pennyblossomx]@Ginuwine I guess i then think about having say a 10 year old when I would be 40 and for some reason that puts me right off, I'm not sure why it just does.[/quote]
YANBU - if you don't want kids after 30, don't have them!

Based on you not having any more kids between now and turning 30 though, your youngest will be 10 when you are 36 and potentially 37 depending when your birthday is, so you won't be a million miles off turning 40 but if it is a phycological hurdle for you then just don't do it