Who pays?

[Imfinallyhappy1]

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

My non fault accident 2 yrs ago (I was rear ended) still saw my premiums go up. And my insurance co initially told me I was going to lose my no claims.

That aside...

Oof! If I’d taken a 7yr old out for the day and this had happened, I’d be paying for the damage.

But an 11 yr old... I’d be asking the parents at least for a contribution. If my 11yr old had been the car-door-whacker, I’d defo accept the financial hit.

Your responsibility shes a minor in your care.

I have 6 nephews and nieces, when they are with me they are my responsibility so I would pay for any mistakes they make like this one. I know it’s annoying but they are children and they do these things, they don’t think and sh*t happens. She should be fully made aware of the cost and the mistake but she is a child at the end of the day.

Do you have protected no claims bonus?
It needs to go through insurance and if a company car may have to.
There will be an excess - and at 11 I think your sister should pay it for her daughter who by that stage should be well trained to open car doors respectfully. If your dad wants to pay it for her, let him.

Whilst the dd was in your car for the trip, she's been in her mother's care for 11 years and should have been taught to: listen, be cautious and to respect other people's property.

Is your car damaged?

@ElleMac44

Your responsibility shes a minor in your care.

Absolute nonsense

I'd pay myself. If I take my niece out then I'm responsible for her.

I would pay as she was in my care

An 11-year-old is old enough to know better. I would be angry if my child acted like that, especially given the warning. I'd be making her pay a little from her savings so she understood actions have consequences and then pay the rest myself. I don't think you should pay.

I'd also be cautious about taking her out places again. And would hold the door open for her if there was any car nearby.

I hope your parents don’t give you too much hassle.

I saved up to buy a new car (worked from a very young age) 20ish years ago and my older brother refused to apologise or pay to have a cigarette burn and scratches on the bumper sorted when he borrowed the car. I always thought he was a bit of a shit and realised he acts like that because he’s allowed to. Some people have funny families when it comes to ‘different rules for each child’.

A few years ago my dad got a Mercedes, it’s 2nd hand and came with damage to the doors (small dents and paint chipped off. He had a mobile repair person come out to sort out the dents and paintwork. It cost a fair few hundred to do and he made lots of ‘jokey’ comments about us/me being careful about how we park next to it on the drive (my children were under 8 at the time and I’ve never been so glad to have childlocks on the two rear doors!!) - only for my dad to leave a massive scratch and red paint mark on one of our car doors! no apology or offer to sort it out because ours is a ‘proper old banger’ and had dents from the previous owners already our car is always good enough to use for material collections and dump runs as his two seat sports car isn’t suitable for builders work/needs

I'd pay. My niece, my trip, my responsibility.

I really don't think it's your dsis's responsibility to pay. You were in charge of dniece, as well as you parked the car close enough for a child to bash the door against another car.

Either way I’d never ever take her with you again.

What a shitty way to treat a child. My 11 year old is generally sensible and careful but occasionally she will make a silly mistake. Should I shun her?

so valuable NCD

If it’s that valuable, pay to protect it. If it’s not a big claim, you don’t lose it all at once, they knock a couple of years off.

I would just let the insurance deal with it. If I were them I’d offer to pay, if I were you, I wouldn’t accept an offer to pay. If I’m in charge of someone else’s kid, I take the responsibility.

If I were you I would take responsibility I wouldn't have parked close enough for a door being opened to cause damage I feel sorry for your niece who is an eleven year old CHILD

At that age me and my sister would pay for our own child’s mistake. If they were smaller then I’d expect to open their door myself and therefore no damage. You gave a warning to be careful and still the damage occurred. I wouldn’t go through car insurance if I were you. (Haven’t read full post so not sure if that sides been dealt with).

It might not sound right but would be OP's responsibility as she was in her care and is a child. If she wasn't wearing a seatbelt do you think the police would fine OP or the child's mum?

I would go half with my sister. I know exactly the situation you are in as we have similar. I would ask my sister to pay half.

what a tough call for you OP. all i can say is if i was in that situation, i’d take ownership of the damage and deal with it as best as i can within my means, ie paying for the repair out of pocket or insurance. i’d just make sure that niece’s parents knew about it.

did the owner of the Merc get in touch? if they own the car and it was less than three years old, am sure they will have taken out Smart cover or equivalent which covers situations like these.

This is an unfortunate incident. No-one likes paying for things like this, but sometimes they happen and my view is that when they happen to us, we just have to pay up.

It's really bad luck this happened, but children do daft things and have accidents all the time and when they're in our care, we are often impacted and just have to pick up the tab.

It's up to you if you claim on insurance or pay it. It's annoying and it could have just as easily been one of your own kids that did it. It was your vehicle with kids you were in charge of and so sadly I think you just have to swallow it....through gritted teeth.

I'd tell the parents/ who she lives with. I'd hope that if you are pretty hard up, they would offer to pay. If they offered, I think I'd accept something towards it. It probably helps if you have a figure of the cost before you tell them it happened, so they aren't offering something without knowing how expensive it is.....unfortunately peoole often renege on an offer if that happens and then lots of bad feeling is created.

It's really annoying but it's one of those things that happens with kids. If it had been a friends child or a family child, I'd take the view I'm just unlucky but as it was my car and I was the adult in charge it will be at my cost.

There's no point feeling furious about it. It's a shame if people don't at least offer to contribute.....but that says a lot about them, but if you don't expect to pay either, it sounds like all of you are possibly a bit the same. In my family, everyone would be bending over backwards to pay and the row is about wanting to pay and everyone wanting to more than pay their way.

It was up to you to supervise your 11 year old niece, you can’t expect your sister to cover costs for something she may have prevented had she been there. Cover half each if you can’t afford it?

If you have to go through your insurance company, I would expect (if I were in your shoes @Imfinallyhappy1) for my sister to cough up the excess that I would have to pay to insure my car until the insurance comes back down to pre-incident amounts. Depending on how much that is, it might be for 1 or 2 years.
That's what I would expect to happen.
Your sister should pay for the incident that her daughter caused.

What damage was done to your car?

It was an honest mistake, not like your niece was having a tantrum. Claim off your insurance. Your niece probably feels terrible. She is a kid, let her off the hook.

Kids make mistakes. It's unfortunate and often no adult is to blame. It's not as easy as parking so far from all other cars that a car door cannot hit another car...those parking spaces don't usually exist.

It wasn't your fault. But kids make mistakes and have accidents. It's a reality.

If you can't cope with that and aren't willing to take any responsibility for the daft things they can do, it's best not to have kids or to take other kids out for the day.

It's just bad luck that happened on your watch. Sometimes things happen that we just have to suck up which aren't our fault. It's life.

It's not your parents' responsibility but honestly I'm not sure whether you or your sis should pay. She's their child yes but she was with you. You chose to go where you did and park in a particular place. I'm not saying you're at fault, just that you took your niece out and she's a child. Things happen.

Your sis could offer to pay half though.

That's why we keep the child locks on.....my bil is shocking for doing this and he really should know better! Don't let them out until you know you can trust them. Same goes for my parents. Trapped in car until I can safely open the door to release them.

I would pay if the child was in my care, these things do happen, yes DN shouldn’t have swung the door open but she’s a child and occasionally they do stupid things.

I actually did exactly what your DN did but as an adult, I opened my car door in a car park and hit a Bentley 😬😬, the owner was sat in the car, I apologised and explained that the wind took the door, he was so loaded (owning a Bentley) that he couldn’t care less, excepted my apology and drove off.

It’s just a tiny dent, chances are they won’t be too bothered if they are then it shouldn’t cost a fortune to fix.