Who pays?

[Imfinallyhappy1]

Have had my niece (11) for a day at the park. We parked and as it was crowded said to my ds and dn be careful opening car doors please.

Dn and ds acknowledged and then dn Flung open her door and has hit a gorgeous merc beside us.

We were all wtf and she said sorry I didn't think.

There was approx 5 seconds between the warning and her opening the door.

I've left a note for the car owner and taken pictures.

Dn lives with my dsis and my parents. My mum said they will pay but my dad has said he's pissed off and I should pay?

Aibu? If my kids damaged someone's property even if they were with someone else I wouldn't expect them to pay.

This is what insurance is for. Your DSis should pay any increase in premium. If she doesn't, I would refuse to take your niece out for a set period (next few months) and put any amounts saved from trips/treats out towards the costs. I'd still have niece at home though, just no expensive treats.

Why has it even been suggested that your father pays? The only solution in which that would be appropriate would be if your DSis was underage (and given niece is 11, I assume DSis is an adult!) or if your parents have parental responsibility for some reason. Otherwise, your sister's child, she foots the bill.

I’d love to know where you all park. Everyone seems to think OP parked to close to the flash car as though there are that many choices on roads/car parks in the UK.

I’m suggesting you (the general ‘you, not you personally) attempt to come to an arrangement with the owner of the car when they inevitably contact you, assuming you haven’t fake numbered them. All they’ll want is their car fixed and if you’re offering to arrange that quickly and without involving insurance companies, they’re generally receptive.

I don’t know I’ve person who would be receptive to that. Invariably the person who will be paying by out of their own pocket rather than insurance will favour a cheap substandard job as that benefits them. So in this case, going through insurance the entire door will be taken off, stripped, sanded, resprayed for several layers, have any surface treatment required that the car has as standard, door reattached and externally detailed. That’s not cheap. OP will go ask for someone to give the chip a touch up with some paint. There will be a huge difference in pricing.

The Merc driver will also have something in their insurance about being covered for another car while the work on the door is being done so while a bit of faff it’s not that bad. With the insurance coverage we pay for we can not have to put ourselves out with a drive to an agreed repairer and back home on collection, everything else including another car meanwhile is taken care of.

I’ve had people try this on and blocked them. I pass it on to my insurance, inform them that my insurance will either deal with their insurance or them directly if they have not also given details of insurance at time of accident and it’s not appropriate to talk directly then I leave the call. If they try contacting me again I block. DH does the same and so does everyone I know so not sure who all these people who are receptive are?

OP, if it were me I would deal with it myself. Any child/teen or even young adult (as they can be worse than kids at times) in my care I take responsibility for. If it happens on my watch, I deal with it myself including any out of pocket whether they are related or not.

@Faultymain5

I’d love to know where you all park. Everyone seems to think OP parked to close to the flash car as though there are that many choices on roads/car parks in the UK.

Same, op says there was enough room to get out, but there's not a car park in the UK I've ever seen where you can fully fling the car door wide without it connecting with the next car. I wonder if dn may have picked up on the attitude towards op from her dsis and df?

My view.
I'd assume it was a mistake by dn, mistakes happen. Misjudged the weight or angle of the door etc.
As the person in charge of the car, I'd take responsibility. When my kids were that age (and older), I'd get out and open the doors if it was even slightly tight.

Your the driver and it’s your responsibility for any passengers

Your insurance pay and you dn covers any direct resulting inflation to your insurance for one year

But actually it’s your responsibility. She’s a child and children do these things without thought. Your best bet is asking them to jump out before parking the car

Remember to put the child locks on and open the doors yourself from now on!

I would just pay it. But if in your family, you know that your sister wouldn't have paid had it been your child out with her, then yanbu to expect her to do it. It all depends on the family.

@Memedru

Remember to put the child locks on and open the doors yourself from now on!

For an 11 year old? Don't you just teach them to pay attention instead?

All they’ll want is their car fixed and if you’re offering to arrange that quickly and without involving insurance companies, they’re generally receptive.

Really?! Receptive to spending goodness knows how long taking your dented car round the area to different garages for quotes - purely for the benefit of the person who dented it? Even though you're both insured??

Your car insurance covers a courtesy car in the event of your vehicle being in the repair shop for a few days, but you say:

''nah, it's fine, we'll do this privately and i'll get the bus for a week while my car's being fixed because i SO don't want the person who dented my car to have to go through their insurance, y'know, that thing we're both paying out for every month in order to sort out situations just.like.this.one ...''

AND - what if the work this 'cheapest garage' does to the car is shit? Who's going to chase that up? What a mess that would be.

Insurance all the way here.

Her (niece) mother or father should pay. I know I would and give my daughter a good telling off too.

It was an accident, you can claim on car insurance. Lesson to be learnt put child lock on doors then people can only get out if you open the door.

Is your sister hard up, and a single mum, is that why she's living with your mum and dad? If so, and you are financially better off, then you might take a generous view - though I don't think it is your responsibility to pay. You warned her and she took no notice. Maybe your dad feels he and your mum are already supporting them quite a lot by giving them a home and that's why he doesn't want to pay up. But that doesn't make it your responsibility. FWIW, I bailed out my DN to the tune of £4,000 of rent arrears when she had to leave a violent boyfriend - he ran up the arrears after she fled. I did it because no-one else in the family could afford to help her. So I think if one can afford to be generous, then it's a good way to go.

@Saltyslug

But actually it’s your responsibility. She’s a child and children do these things without thought. Your best bet is asking them to jump out before parking the car

If she's thoughtless enough to bang a car with her car door, she's thoughtless enough to jump into traffic without looking if it's clear.

No way would I be telling a child like that to get out before parking.

If this was a small child and the damage was caused by your negligence you. But neither is true. Your niece should contribute / cover and her guardians cover the rest.

Your sister should step up to the plate. Has she been told about it?

My dad wouldn’t pay..... my sister would offer straight away to pay but I would probably just pay and not Evan mention it. Kids do shit it’s just life

You should pay; she was with you at the time.

A mercedes repair will be expensive even if it is tiny, and you'll presumably have your excess to pay too. I think you'll have to do it through your insurance unless the driver is very kind and chooses to let you pay for it yourself - in which case I hope your sister will pay, though from the sound of it that is unlikely.
.

My DS did this. My insurance paid for it and it was registered against me as a none fault accident so the premiums and no claim bonus were unaffected. Check with your insurance.

@veryverytiredmummy

My DS did this. My insurance paid for it and it was registered against me as a none fault accident so the premiums and no claim bonus were unaffected. Check with your insurance.

Insurance companies will usually register this as fault. If they didn't then you are very fortunate.

At 11 she's old enough to follow a basic instruction surely? A bit younger and I'd have expected you to hold the door as she got out - just in case, but not at that age. Her parents should cover it, and deduct from her pocket money if they feel the need. If she comes out with you again, I'd be saying to her to put her hand around the door as she gets out. She'll take more care if she doesn't want to hurt her fingers!