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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbour’s mysterious notepad...

226 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 08:58

The neighbours to the side of us are a retired couple. Pleasant enough to speak to, but a bit on the nosy side.

Their house is immaculate, not a weed on the drive, front lawn and hedges always trimmed. Ours, erm, isn’t. Same for the back, which they can see from their windows. He has commented.

He always puts everyone’s bins back, pretty sure this is not a neighbourly kind gesture, they are collected from opposite his house.

Over the road have caught him chucking cat poo on to my front garden from his (we do have a cat but so do most houses).

Neither of them can walk past my house without craning their necks to look in the garden/windows.

Whenever we have work done he is straight round to find out the details.

Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that he has taken to walking around with a notebook and pencil. We went for a bbq over the road last night and he was out there taking notes on his driveway.

I would so love to know what he’s taking notes on! It’s obviously a shitlist of some sort, or possibly a Covid Police logbook.

AIBU to ask him next time I see it? DH says I need to leave it but enquiring minds must know.

OP posts:

woodlandcalm · 18/04/2021 11:02

he pointed at one of my plants (it’s probably looking tatty or something).

Or maybe he was telling his wife what sort of plant it was or that he'd quite like one? Moving the bins back sounds reasonable too, most of us wouldn't really want all the streets bins outside ours especially if neighbours not in a hurry to take back in. Cat poo - goodness, how many threads on here tell posters to bag up cat/dog poo up and return to owners? Notebook - perhaps he has got medical issues but doesn't sound like its impacting you directly?

You sound like you have a bit of a downer on the old boy.

HandfulofDust · 18/04/2021 11:02

I'd just give him more ammo to write notes about....poor bloke is obviously bored. Maybe leave random objects in your front garden so he can write himself a little story.

Hopikins · 18/04/2021 11:03

He probably does it as it makes him feel important. Sad really

LifeinPieces21 · 18/04/2021 11:04

@Laggartha

Just to be clear, I’m not bothered by it. I think it’s hilarious.

So you started a thread about it, not because his behaviour bothers you, or you're bothered about what's in his notebook, but because it's so funny?

Why is that a problem?

Isadora2007 · 18/04/2021 11:04

You could always say you’d be delighted if he wanted to wash your cars or help you garden. Kill with kindness. Invite them over to the bbqs etc. Nothing he’s doing is actually bad I don’t think- so just embrace it.

PanamaPattie · 18/04/2021 11:05

Don’t forget to have a pen attached to your clipboard on a piece of string.

BlueTiles · 18/04/2021 11:05

Definitely get the large notebook, but maybe a high Viz jacket and walkie talkie too.

tashac89 · 18/04/2021 11:08

I live in a street where everyone is nosy. My next door neighbour in particular is horrible. I've been reported to environmental health for rats because she didn't like the guinea pigs in my garden, accosted and shouted at for my grass being too long as I was leaving for my mother's funeral. She sent her son around to scream at me, when I was heavily pregnant and home alone, about filling a dangerous hole in with chippings because it was by her wall (terraced house, my kid sprained his ankle falling in it) and she put an extra driveway in, complete with dropped curb, so my husband couldn't park his motorbike out there. She doesn't own a car and actually told me it was to stop him parking in front of a little bit of her garden. We rent and when we had to have roof repairs she reported ME to the council for having scaffolding in my back garden for over a week.

Every now and then I take around baked goods, clear her drive of leaves, pop her bins back up to the house for her ect. My kindness annoys her so much more than anything else I could possibly do and I take great pleasure in knowing I would never stoop to her level.

VodkaSlimline · 18/04/2021 11:12

How old are your DCs? I would suggest you buy/read them Harriet The Spy and then give them a notepad each. It is impossible for a child to read this book and not immediately want to spy on everybody around them.

MrsMaizel · 18/04/2021 11:13

@JensonsAcolyte

DH wfh and I’m furloughed until May.

and all your visitors too ? wow - sounds great !

DifficultBloodyWoman · 18/04/2021 11:14

This is the way to go.

I get perverse enjoyment from doing stuff like this. Minus the baking.

Original poster

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 11:16

@MrsMaizel

Ok I’m not sure what you’re driving at here? It’s been the Easter holidays for the last two weeks and lots of people took time off, we’ve had four separate families visiting, more than once each.

OP posts:

converseandjeans · 18/04/2021 11:22

Going against the general consensus here - but you sound more annoying than he does.

Cat poo is vile and I wouldn't want it in my garden.

All the noise in the garden isn't going to be fun for neighbours.

An untidy garden would annoy me too.

I wouldn't make it obvious and wouldn't make notes, but might moan to DH.

You don't sound especially considerate - it's like you want to annoy him by being untidy & noisy. His note taking sounds far less annoying 🤷🏻‍♀️

WhereYouLeftIt · 18/04/2021 11:24

"Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that he has taken to walking around with a notebook and pencil."

I'm torn. That he's doing it so openly, I have to think he wants you to ask him (or amend your behaviour so that he doesn't write you into the notebook). And so, I'd be thinking it would annoy him more if I completely ignored his notebook, even if he had it in his hand whilst talking to him.

I'd probably compromise by criticising his "immaculate garden", because doesn't he know that insects, not just bees, are vital ecologically speaking, and his gardening style is just creating a wasteland for the planet? If you could splutter a bit with the passion of your speech, bonus points!)

MrsMaizel · 18/04/2021 11:24

[quote JensonsAcolyte]@MrsMaizel

[/quote]
Even throughout Covid, we bubbled with my sister so she’s round with her kids and dog most weekends and since 12th April we’ve had people round in the garden most days

I'm suggesting he's maybe sick of all the socialising going on in your garden .

giletrouge · 18/04/2021 11:24

You want to be out there like this OP. (Famous photograph - not me!)

MusicWithRocksIn1t · 18/04/2021 11:30

I had a neighbour like this as a student, always complained, I used to kill him with kindness, every time I saw him before he could complain I'd be in there first with something like "lovely day today isn't it? Your hedge looks wonderfully straight did you do that yourself? Oh dear I better be going, have a lovely day!" And walk away.
He gave up on me after a while and would complain to everyone else instead which I count as a win.

lorca · 18/04/2021 11:30

Oh - pristine NDNs!
When I moved in I had a tree stump ground out, as I wanted to put an extension (all Planning applied for and won) and some of the dusty grindings when through the fence (weave-type) into next door. I obviously didn't know this. NDN swept up the dust and woodchip into a dustpan - and threw it back over the fence. I couldn't imagine being so petty.
Same neighbour out in the road gossiping with her-across-the-road saw me coming, and turned her back. Still carried on talking. Presumably about me and my extension-building ways. Across-the-road will literally say hello to my DP (who doesn't live here) and ignore me. The also use my drive to reverse into theirs, but that's ok apparently. I don't think I'd be allowed to do the same to their drive!

Audi driving son will leave their house (copious goodbyes) and then HOOOOOT as he drives away - at 10pm. Twat.

People are bastards.

lorca · 18/04/2021 11:32

I'm suggesting he's maybe sick of all the socialising going on in your garden and what can he do about it? Absolutely nothing. Her garden. Her property. He can fuck off. He's had a year of no socialising.

Original poster

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 11:32

@MrsMaizel

Well he can do one about that quite frankly as you until two weeks ago we weren’t allowed to socialise so we’ve made the most of it over the holidays.

I’m talking about families in the daytime, not loud parties late at night.

The houses behind us have been similar throughout the hols.

Tbh I’d have thought buying a five bed house on an estate of similar houses wasn’t their best move if they wanted a quiet retirement. It’s fairly obviously going to be families.

OP posts:

CornishTiger · 18/04/2021 11:34

I’d be tempted to pop a bigger notebook through his door

Hollywolly1 · 18/04/2021 11:34

You say you had people around in your garden most days? Yes you are an extremely selfish person that doesn't care about yourself or your family's health during covid times in fact you are absolutely reckless and then people like yourself wonder how you got covid or maybe you are one of the people that doesn't believe in covid.
How about if your child gets covid and suffers the long effects of it for years
You do come across as a nightmare neighbour to be honest

Original poster

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 11:36

@Hollywolly1

You say you had people around in your garden most days? Yes you are an extremely selfish person that doesn't care about yourself or your family's health during covid times in fact you are absolutely reckless and then people like yourself wonder how you got covid or maybe you are one of the people that doesn't believe in covid. How about if your child gets covid and suffers the long effects of it for years You do come across as a nightmare neighbour to be honest

What the fuck are you on about?

We’ve had Covid back in January anyway.

You do know we are allowed garden visitors, right?

OP posts:

Chipanzee · 18/04/2021 11:38

You're allowed to do a lot of things, that doesn't mean they are sensitive to all people.

And you can get covid twice BTW.

Macncheeseballs · 18/04/2021 11:39

Blimey Hollywooly, bit much

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