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AIBU?

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Original poster

Neighbour’s mysterious notepad...

226 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 08:58

The neighbours to the side of us are a retired couple. Pleasant enough to speak to, but a bit on the nosy side.

Their house is immaculate, not a weed on the drive, front lawn and hedges always trimmed. Ours, erm, isn’t. Same for the back, which they can see from their windows. He has commented.

He always puts everyone’s bins back, pretty sure this is not a neighbourly kind gesture, they are collected from opposite his house.

Over the road have caught him chucking cat poo on to my front garden from his (we do have a cat but so do most houses).

Neither of them can walk past my house without craning their necks to look in the garden/windows.

Whenever we have work done he is straight round to find out the details.

Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that he has taken to walking around with a notebook and pencil. We went for a bbq over the road last night and he was out there taking notes on his driveway.

I would so love to know what he’s taking notes on! It’s obviously a shitlist of some sort, or possibly a Covid Police logbook.

AIBU to ask him next time I see it? DH says I need to leave it but enquiring minds must know.

OP posts:
SylvanianFrenemies · 18/04/2021 10:02

Just leave him to it.
It sounds like you aren't the perfect neighbour either (I'm sure my neighbours would say the same about us).
He brings your bin back, keeps an eye on things, has a neat and tidy house. It could be worse.
Just be glad he isn't coming to you with gripes.
As others say there may be an explanation such as dementia/cognitive difficulties.

Nicolastuffedone · 18/04/2021 10:03

I bring my bin in immediately ever since someone dropped their dogs used pop bags in it

Nicolastuffedone · 18/04/2021 10:04

*poo

RuggerDownHere · 18/04/2021 10:04

I'd go one better than a notepad and I would have a Dictaphone Grin

The second he stepped out of the house I would be out there, big brother style voice, and speak into the Dictaphone. "Day 108 in Arcadia Crescent, the male occupant of number 40 has come out onto his drive, he is looking at me, notepad in hand. Now he is writing something."

I would actually just do my own notepad but I would love to have the balls to do the above.

Teddyandsuzie · 18/04/2021 10:04

You sound like a nosy neighbour too.

He’s probably wondering why you’re staring at him when he’s in his own garden making notes. He might even start a thread Grin

ChangeNameagain2 · 18/04/2021 10:08

I have a notebook in my apron pocket so I can make a note of anything I notice when I'm doing housework (fixtures that need tightening, paint that needs refreshing, shoes that need attention, etc)

@ladyMonicaBaddingham I have so may questions! What is your apron like? Do you wear it everyday? Do you live in a very large house that requires daily work? Do you have a spare apron or a selection? Do you keep it on all day? Anything else in the pockets? Also roughly what age are you?

My wee granny, god rest her, was the only women I ever knew who wore an apron and I loved it so much, I got hers after she died and I genuinely treasure it so much. It had magical pockets, you never knew what would she would pull out. For some reason I can't stop smiling at your post. I think my granny would like you Smile

OP, Totally agree buy a clipboard.

MisfitNotMissFit · 18/04/2021 10:08

I'd definitely buy one of these and make sure he sees it Grin

https://www.pocketperfectdesigns.co.uk/ourshop/prod_6996365-Surrounded-A6-Notebook-Free-Pen.html

Omemiserum · 18/04/2021 10:09

The best thing is to get a large pad and a tape measure and take lots of measurements in the front garden. Lots of arm waving and discussion and see if he can contain himself.

babbaloushka · 18/04/2021 10:09

High vis jacket with clipboard and headset for you OP!

DumplingsAndStew · 18/04/2021 10:16

I see others have beaten me to it - a clipboard would definitely denote the seriousness of the note taking.

Catswithflamingos · 18/04/2021 10:17

OH you have to start acting up on this. I don’t know how. Leaving the house in fancy dress, or coming home dressed as a bird. Imagine his notes. They’ll think he’s going mad.

MrsPeacockInTheLibrary · 18/04/2021 10:18

Get some large talk and write a coded message in Russian (or whatever) outside of your house. Then get the neighbours to write a reply the next day.

Or stick random signs in windows.

Bagamoyo1 · 18/04/2021 10:20

The notebook is weird, and peering through the window is nasty - but I’m with your neighbour on the bins and the cat poo. If the bins are collected from outside his house, I’m not surprised he wants them moved away when they’ve been emptied. Maybe you should all retrieve your bins promptly so he doesn’t have to. And if your cat poos in his garden then he’s right to throw it back. And yes, maybe it’s someone else’s cat. But it’s most likely yours, and it’s certainly not his.

pinkearedcow · 18/04/2021 10:20

Just be grateful that they are not drug dealers with huge music speakers that make your house shake (bitter experience).

Livelovebehappy · 18/04/2021 10:21

Ignore. You’re equally going to be at risk of also being labelled nosey. You seem to know a lot about their daily actions, so guessing you watch out for them leaving their front door and what they do. Just ignore them and get on with your life is my advice.

pinkearedcow · 18/04/2021 10:21

Although throwing poo is not a nice thing to do.

Doilooklikeatourist · 18/04/2021 10:22

I have about 6 aprons , though I do have a favourite
I can’t cook without an apron on !
I didn’t think about a housework apron , but that such a good idea !
Thinking about it though my Grandma had a house coat ( a nylon button through garment like an overcoat ) that she wore for housework
@JensonsAcolyte definitely a clipboard

CantBeAssed · 18/04/2021 10:24

I would go the extra mile.with the clipboard and buy it for him, pointing out to him that you have noticed he is running out of room on his notepad...maybe put a bow on it and throw in a good bicGrin

AmyDudley · 18/04/2021 10:27

When my Dad had Alzheimers he used to walk up and down the village writing down all the car number plates in a notebook.
After he died I was looking through his notebooks and he had lists of stuff like 'animals' 'cars' etc. I think because he was so confused he was trying to form some sort of order out of the things around him (animals was because they sometimes looked after my sisters dogs and so the number of pets in the house would vary). He'd also peer through people's windows.

He was about as far from being a nosy neighbour as you can get before he became unwell.

Original poster
JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 10:27

I don’t watch them at all.

I’m sitting on my sofa right now and they’ve just walked past really slowly staring in and commenting to each other, he pointed at one of my plants (it’s probably looking tatty or something). The other side of my house is the footpath out of the estate so they walk past mine every time they go out.

Yesterday when we went across to the bbq he was out on his driveway, I waved and said a cheery hello and he got his notebook out and watched us knock on the door, like actually standing and staring.

All the other neighbours have commented that he watches and takes notes on them too, it’s not just us.

I’d love to get my hands on those notes!

OP posts:
Original poster
JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 10:28

It is interesting that a few of you have said about dementia, I hadn’t considered that so will bear it in mind and not be unkind about it.

OP posts:
mummyiveseenabeebumble · 18/04/2021 10:30

Laggartha I agree with everything you've said, digs and jokes aside that is the truth

Hellodarknessmyoldpal · 18/04/2021 10:30

He sounds pretty irritating and uptight and i don't think i would want to add to that. There is likely a reason for his behaviour from early signs of dementia to just generally being a stressed out type of person. Either way i don't think i would want to make things worse for him, especially if he is elderly.

I voted YANBU it sounds very annoying for you but rise above it and if you really want to know i see no reason why you can't ask.him what he is writing about in a friendly way (and if you find out come back and let us know).

FunTimes2020 · 18/04/2021 10:33

@Blublubblubbing

How old is he? A relative of mine has dementia and would do this
Dementia mentioned already!!
PhilCornwall1 · 18/04/2021 10:35

Why not once or twice a day, stand outside his house, whip out your phone and pretend to make a call, whilst looking directly at his house.

Childish? Yep, but if he says anything, tell him you'll stop when he fucks off back in his house with his notepad.