Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour’s mysterious notepad...

226 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 08:58

The neighbours to the side of us are a retired couple. Pleasant enough to speak to, but a bit on the nosy side.

Their house is immaculate, not a weed on the drive, front lawn and hedges always trimmed. Ours, erm, isn’t. Same for the back, which they can see from their windows. He has commented.

He always puts everyone’s bins back, pretty sure this is not a neighbourly kind gesture, they are collected from opposite his house.

Over the road have caught him chucking cat poo on to my front garden from his (we do have a cat but so do most houses).

Neither of them can walk past my house without craning their necks to look in the garden/windows.

Whenever we have work done he is straight round to find out the details.

Anyway, recently I’ve noticed that he has taken to walking around with a notebook and pencil. We went for a bbq over the road last night and he was out there taking notes on his driveway.

I would so love to know what he’s taking notes on! It’s obviously a shitlist of some sort, or possibly a Covid Police logbook.

AIBU to ask him next time I see it? DH says I need to leave it but enquiring minds must know.

OP posts:
CrisisManagement · 18/04/2021 09:33

Oh goodness. We live across from one of these. He has complained about everything - DH leaves for work too early (6am), our garden, our tree, our cat etc. We can't go outside without him watching us. He waits all day for the poor postman to come and then dashes out to speak to him.

I'd feel sorry for him, but the constant complaining and staring is just so irritating.

I think you need a clipboard and a walkie talkie. Out-supervise him.

AbsolutelyPatsy · 18/04/2021 09:34

does he have a high viz?

Goatinthegarden · 18/04/2021 09:35

My dad is retired, terminally ill and has dementia. He can’t go very far or do very much. He has recently developed a love for a notebook.

It drives my mum insane. He makes constant little inward notes about himself, his weight, his water intake, the weather outside, the dog’s demeanour that day.

When my grandfather passed away about 30 years ago, we acquired dozens of very similar notebooks. I tried reading them once, but gave up pretty quickly.

Homebird8 · 18/04/2021 09:37

@LadyMonicaBaddingham I have a notebook in my apron pocket

The note book makes complete sense but I am intrigued by the apron?

Saltyslug · 18/04/2021 09:38

Ask him what his notebook is for

mummyiveseenabeebumble · 18/04/2021 09:40

Shove him a deck of those sex playing cards through the letter box

HeddaGarbled · 18/04/2021 09:41

Oh, who wants to live like this? So, he has some irritating habits. Clearly, so do you. Make friends with him. Someone who’s at home a lot and keeps an eye out can be a really useful neighbour to have, not least for the bin-hauling.

dudsville · 18/04/2021 09:42

You need to get yourself a notebook and go out and observe and record his behaviour, visibly. If he asks about it just give a likely but obviously false cover story. That would be so funny!

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 18/04/2021 09:44

Off topic but I too am intrigued by the apron. It never occurred to me to get one but it would be brilliant in my case to wear something that signalled to myself and others that I’m taking time to do the work required to get to grips with home maintenance. The DCs (and DH to a lesser extent) just don’t ‘see’ that work and since we’ve been having to work from home it’s all got a bit blurred. Having a stand out ‘this is what I’m doing’ outfit would be a game changer!

wombatgoeswild · 18/04/2021 09:45

Goes off to google aprons with pockets...

Brain fog for a variety of reasons means this might be an idea. Neighbour sounds a bit OTT tho.

Laggartha · 18/04/2021 09:45

I couldn't find it in myself to be bothered by this, let alone to try winding him up even more.

It's a stage of life thing - the older, retired couples on our street have the tidiest gardens and most well-kept houses because they have the time and money to do so. They are also the ones most likely to deal with dustbins as they tend to see what happens during the day.

We also want different things from our neighbourhood, perhaps your music and visitors and kids and dogs and work on the house disturb his peaceful enjoyment of his garden, but he doesn't say anything because he understands that's part and parcel of living on a street with other people.

Laggartha · 18/04/2021 09:46

They are also the ones most likely to deal with dustbins as they tend to see what happens during the day.

Also the ones most likely to note suspicious behaviour from criminals.

Ozgirl75 · 18/04/2021 09:46

Get a clipboard and have a piece of paper on it that just says “MURDER” over and over again and “accidentally” let him see it for a split second.

LubaLuca · 18/04/2021 09:50

I think I'd just leave him to it. It's a harmless if slightly annoying to other people hobby, but then so is playing music and having gatherings of people and animals in the garden.

Sparklingbrook · 18/04/2021 09:51

My parents are a bit like this but minus the notebook. The bin would be brought up the drive two seconds after the collection. Garden is immaculate all mowed and trimmed. But they have all the time in the world to do this. I am sure they clock everything that goes on in their street too.

Original poster
JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 09:52

Just to be clear, I’m not bothered by it. I think it’s hilarious.

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 18/04/2021 09:53

*They are also the ones most likely to deal with dustbins as they tend to see what happens during the day.

Also the ones most likely to note suspicious behaviour from criminals*

And put your bins out for you and keep an eye on your house when you go on holiday.

serin · 18/04/2021 09:54

I think he finds you annoying.Grin

Original poster
JensonsAcolyte · 18/04/2021 09:54

@serin

I think he finds you annoying.Grin
Oh he definitely does Grin
OP posts:
Sandgrown1970 · 18/04/2021 09:56

Our neighbour was like this, had full on arguments if bins weren’t brought in within an hour of the bin men coming and failing to understand that some of us (most of us!) worked and he’d interrogate workmen very rudely to the point they didn’t want to come back, then he started taking notes on us, sneaking out in the night to nose around.

It was dementia. I am haunted now by the day, after sheer exasperation and the roofer who had come to fix damage after a storm saying they felt very uncomfortable and wouldn’t be back to do future jobs if they had to put up with that level of abuse, I shouted at his lovely wife that she needed to sort him out as I didn’t know what his problem was with us. The early part of his dementia manifested in a need to patrol everything that was going on and a paranoia against both neighbours and anyone who visited them. He’d go around taking bins in too. He knocked on my door at 7.30pm on bin day, after I’d returned from a Parents’ Evening at the school I worked at, absolutely raging that he’d HAD to bring my bin in and what the hell was I playing at and how the council would fine me. I’d been working out of the house 12 hours and he didn’t take kindly to me saying “no one asked you to bring the bin in, it would have been done the same night. In future stop taking it upon yourself to bring other people’s bins in.”
He was paranoid about the Council, thinking he was saving us all from fines for leaving the bin out “too” long.

I’m quite direct and if I spotted your neighbour taking notes I’d say “What are you writing about? I’ve been feeling uncomfortable lately as you seem to be taking notes about the neighbours, am I right or is there another explanation which is less intrusive?”

DungeonKeeper · 18/04/2021 09:56

My first thought was you should also get a notebook. Definitely a headset so you can stand outside their house and speak into it every now ask again. Occasionally nod. Maybe get some different colour pens.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 18/04/2021 09:58

Could you leave a trail of clues for him to find?

Slightly out of context objects that when he’s noted them all down reveal some thing dastardly?
Maybe one week leave out several objects being with F, week after objects being with U , and so on...

Allwokedup · 18/04/2021 10:00

Ask him what he’s writing?

Laggartha · 18/04/2021 10:00

Just to be clear, I’m not bothered by it. I think it’s hilarious.

So you started a thread about it, not because his behaviour bothers you, or you're bothered about what's in his notebook, but because it's so funny?

PatsyJStone · 18/04/2021 10:00

If he were my neighbour I wouldn’t be answering the door or telling him anything if I were having works done.
In fact, along with wearing a fancy dress outfit (quite like that one) I’d be inviting a few builders around for some discussions on an extension that I wasn’t planning on having. All discussions taking place at the back of the house where neighbour couldn’t see... I’d probably also get a random friend to dress up smartly and arrive with their own note pad and take notes while looking at said neighbours house.

Swipe left for the next trending thread