To wonder what kind of funeral you would like

[SylvieHortensis]

I'm not a royalist but watched Prince Philip's funeral yesterday as I love a bit of British pomp and circumstance in the sunshine.

It got me thinking how much I hate 'normal' funerals - and I've been to a fair few including my parents.

What kind of send off would you like (if any)?

As the funeral is for the living and not the dead.....I really don't care.....as long as those throwing it are happy. If I had.my choice they would go for a lovely walk to a beach. Throw my ashes in the sea (happy that I was burnt first in private) - have a picnic. Have a lovely time. Hopefully they would have a couple of good stories to tell or nice memories to recall. Make a fun day that also becomes a memory.

The cheapest one possible

OH and I discuss this- will be a fun filled day- including a silent auction, bingo at half time, a 1920's dress code, 10 minutes each of speed dating and charades.
Music will include Baby shark and Gangnam Style.

Green bin, if possible. Otherwise a direct cremation and immediate disposal of the ashes.

I don't want to be embalmed or an expensive coffin, things that would be environmentally the worst of options. I would be unhappy at huge costs to my loved ones, too. Buried under a tree in a cardboard box or my body donated to science would be ideal, but very not essential.

Not bothered mostly. It's for others to decide.

My mother probably wanted a noisy raucous wild wake and instead got a quiet traditional Methodist church ceremony. She was raised in the church, had huge affection for it, but hadn't attended in decades - and hadn't specified any funeral wishes so it was up to us to decide what to do. That traditional ceremony is what comforted my religious (& strongly grieving) brother so fine by me.

It's funny I don't have much relationship with my brother but when my mom died we worked together extremely well. No problems at all deciding what to do & just getting it all done. I am eternally grateful for that, after reading all the dispute stories on MN about funerals & wills etc.

Body and organs to donate as needed, then cremation with humanist funeral.

People on MN often say "funerals are for the living..." but the living are often obliged to follow a tradition that might not bring them comfort.

Choosing a coffin, sitting in a grim crematorium, listening to someone (who is usually a stranger to the deceased) deliver a eulogy. This can bring more distress than comfort for many.

A cheap one.
Take me to the skip, compost me, whatever.

I want a humanist funeral if there's to be one. My burial plot is already there.

When my Grandad died my Nana didn't know anything that he wanted as they'd never discussed it and it really upset her worrying if she was doing the "right" thing. On the other hand a friend died and they planned every single aspect of their funeral and a couple of things, in particular two music choices, really upset their family. One was a song from their wedding and now their spouse can't bear to hear it as it reminds of the funeral. They also very strictly wanted no wake and their closest family felt they had to respect that, but they really wanted ot go somewhere together after the funeral.

We have an envelope in with the important paperwork with some things in it. Some facts and stories about my childhood (I have no close contact with anyone that has known me since I was little - I was brought up by GPs who are long gone) and a list of music that I like to help whoever is organising it. I've also written down, so they have it in my hand, all the things that I really don't mind about (wearing black, having a wake etc) and would like them to do what they feel comfortable with. If that's a party for 500 or a small private thing for just them.

All I want is that my kids, and DH assuming I go first, do whatever brings them the most comfort and least stress.

Funerals are a production just like weddings and can be as unique and interesting or boring and dull as other weddings or productions are.

It doesn't take lots of money to have a good funeral.. Something short, quirky... Large picture of deceased, good music... Personal memories... Nice wake...

For me absolutely no church readings or Christian aspect at all... And good music without organs!

I found yesterday strange, it was incredibly personal and almost felt intrusive to be watching this grieving family... At such an intimate moment.
But inspite of the funeral itself being designed by Philip it felt impersonal to me. Perhaps the lack of speakers talking about him like you would have at a normal funeral?
Diana's funeral immediately brings to mind her brothers speech, Elton John... Totally unique...

Strange.
.

Not having one - having on of those "Pure Cremation" ones. Then my ashes put in the family grave.

Told the family so no problem with them.

Direct cremation, scatter me in the bluebell woods or in the woods round my favourite lake. No fuss, least expensive option

As cheap as possible then put some money behind the bar for during the wake

I'm having Mr brightside playing quietly as they all walk out!
For coming in I'm having ' in my life' by the Beatles. I'm being cremated.
My sons know my music choices.
The rest is up to them.

The most environmentally friendly and cheapest one possible. I don't see the point of chopping down yet another tree to have it destroyed by fire.

I want a matte black coffin, stereo banging out edm tunes and people just generally remembering me and how I tried my best to make people happy. I want people dressed however they want, and free flow Prosecco. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I want everything usable to be donated so I'd like the usual wake but I'd have instructions for what food there is and how much drink is laid out. Basically I want people drunk and laughing, am a bit Nana from the Royle family about buffet directions.

For those saying you want a humanist funeral - be aware that they have strict rules about not allowing anything even vaguely spiritual.

My DM chose a humanist funeral for my DDad and it was a bit of a nightmare tbh. There were a couple of poems we wanted that the humanist celebrant vetoed because they were too "spiritual" ( think those "don't grieve I'm only in the next room" type poems). She was very clear that humanist funerals were not allowed to have a spiritual content. A bit like not being allowed to mention God in a registry office wedding.

We found it quite restrictive. I wish we'd known more about it before we hired her. By the time we realised we were quite a way into the process. DM just wanted it to go without any arguments - so she just accepted what she'd been told and the rest of us had to go along with it.

I don't want one. I want straight to cremation and everyone to go to the pub to celebrate my life. No service.

Direct cremation for me too, they can help themselves to any organs beforehand.

I have asked that I be buried and would like a standard funeral mass. I also hope that I will always respect other's choices.

Direct cremation, no family and no mourners. Ashes buried discreetly up the Rhigos mountain with my dads ashes and all my pets ashes. Do not mark the spot, do not return to mourn ritually and don’t tell anyone where the fuck I am. I’m leaving a few hundred for a slap up meal for my husband and son, they are the only people I love and they don’t need the misery of a funeral.

@TheOnlyKoiInAPondOfGoldfish that's sad, we had a humanist service for my gran but a recording was played of a hymn she happened to love.
It was absolutely the most perfect service I have ever attended.

Something colourful and celebratory, semi religious, but I'm going out to Copacabana by Barry Manilow!

Then lots of booze and a really cracking buffet in a nice pub afterwards.

I did try leaving my body to science a few years back but they said no