Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think DH should agree to alter hotel room?

151 replies

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 13:03

DH works 4 hours away from home in our family business.

I'll only nip down once a fortnight nowadays because of covid restrictions,

He always checks into the same room, bit of a creature of habit Grin, but was once put in a different room which I prefer because it has a bath.

The bath is lovely as we get a little bit romantic in this room - 3 nocturnal teenagers at home for a year has had a large impact on our Quality Time together, and a luxury bath adds to the ambience.

The room is exactly the same, maybe 10 yards further down the corridor. No other difference at all. Same view, same floor space, same orientation (these things matter to him Hmm)

AIBU to think he should be happy to change to this room and not be ruled by his resistance to change?

First World problems I know there's other far more pressing issues I'm well aware, Colin the caterpillar etc etv

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2021 16:22

@ObvNC

SleepingStanding

My marriage isn't doomed, any sex outside our teenaged house is fine by both of us.

Avd to reiterate, We didn't have sex on the bath, it just set the tone.

I was replying to April about how your selfish husband clearly doesn't care enough about you to have the bath sex room, not actually making assumptions about the state of your marriage.

He's rigid. You like getting your own way. You'll keep pushing and nagging until you win. If the sexes were reversed people would call you a bully. He doesn't want that room. Boom it for yourself then invite him over if that works for you but stop bullying him into having a room for over half a month because you want a bath BEFORE sex twice a month.

Swordfish1 · 16/04/2021 16:26

It sets the tone FOR YOU.

So what.

Unless a bath actually turns him off, and by op's post that did not seem to be the case the last time, what's the problem with the bath getting OP in the mood more than it might do for him?

theworldsbiggestcrocodile · 16/04/2021 16:27

Well OP if nothing else you've pleased my DP because I've been reminded about how much I like having a bath with him so I've just texted him to go and buy some Badedas 😂

NoSquirrels · 16/04/2021 16:31

@Swordfish1

It sets the tone FOR YOU.

So what.

Unless a bath actually turns him off, and by op's post that did not seem to be the case the last time, what's the problem with the bath getting OP in the mood more than it might do for him?

No problem - but it’s not like (by OP’s admission) she wouldn’t be in the mood without the bath.

So I guess he just thinks why bother?

I’m on no one’s side in this scenario- he could swap, no massive big deal unless he makes it one. Or she could accept no bath for pre-sex mood-setting - again no massive big deal either.

I’m just personally jealous of the idea of having a set up where a) I get the bedroom to myself a majority of the time at home and b) regular hotel sex with my absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder DH. I can but dream!

SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2021 16:33

Op is this about the room or

He's in a hotel 8 nights a week
Someone cooks all his meals
He barely tidies up as there's a cleaner
He brings his washing home

You are home full time
You cook your own meals and the kids
You keep the house clean and clean up after the kids
You do all the washing Inc his
You travel 4 hours each way every fortnight for a booty call and then it's basically missionary, lights off, roll over, snore

JustAnotherOldMan · 16/04/2021 16:43

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

But equally maybe the OP likes bath sex and they don't get to do it at home due to teenagers hanging about, so some compromise is needed on his part-I don't know why everyone is acting like the man has been traumatised by bath sex in the past and that's the deep underlying reason he won't switch rooms? It's surely that he just can't be arsed? It's like me liking one thing more than DP, and DP liking one thing more than I do, (but neither of us has any real objection to the other persons favourite thing)so we both do the thing the other likes from time to time, and then we're both happy.

Op is just asking for a bath in a room...she isn't asking for the moon on a stick.

I think the point you might be missing is why should he switch from a room he likes if he staying away ?. The novelty of working away weeks at a time soon fades, and anything that makes it more bearable is a bonus. Surely there must be a lock on the bathroom door at home is bath sex is that important ?
CorvusPurpureus · 16/04/2021 16:52

I'm just astonished how many MNers can fit in a bath with their DP.

You'd have to feed me & t'chap through a bacon slicer first.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 16/04/2021 17:13

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

Well OP if nothing else you've pleased my DP because I've been reminded about how much I like having a bath with him so I've just texted him to go and buy some Badedas 😂
What the fuck is this? Conker Roleplay?
Alsohuman · 16/04/2021 17:15

@CorvusPurpureus

I'm just astonished how many MNers can fit in a bath with their DP.

You'd have to feed me & t'chap through a bacon slicer first.

🤣
Alwaysandforeverhere · 16/04/2021 17:17

Really his being asked to give up a walk in shower so op can bathe one a fortnight and he when has to shower over a tub.

I’d keep the walk in shower.

Original poster
ObvNC · 16/04/2021 17:20

There's a walk in shower AND a bath in 69! I think the bathroom part of it is bigger that 73 because it backs on to a cleaners cupboard section. The rest of the room is exactly the same. bears repeating

Badedas is a blast from the past Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
ObvNC · 16/04/2021 17:26

*Op is this about the room or

He's in a hotel 8 nights a week
Someone cooks all his meals
He barely tidies up as there's a cleaner
He brings his washing home

You are home full time
You cook your own meals and the kids
You keep the house clean and clean up after the kids
You do all the washing Inc his
You travel 4 hours each way every fortnight for a booty call and then it's basically missionary, lights off, roll over, snore*

8 nights a fortnight Grin

No meals at hotel till recently, he had reasy meals at the office and shreddies in his room - milk the fridge. He does his own washing at weekend (plus any household that needs doing).

I'm happy at home with him (company) or without him (big empty cold quiet bed).

It's a system that works well for us.

Teenagers are pretty self sufficient.

It's not a booty call only, I actually have work down there, but have tweaked it recently to only being there once a fortnight because of Lockdown 3.

OP posts:
DontBeRidiculous · 16/04/2021 17:35

I think hotel baths are gross, but obviously OP and her husband enjoyed theirs "That One Time".

I don't think it's asking too much for him to switch over to the better (in your opinion) room. The problem is that your husband is too set in his ways to want to change things, so... There's really no solution. Either he will or he won't.

You could explain that it would make you feel more valued if he went to the very tiny bit of trouble that it would take for him to accommodate your wishes. I wouldn't be impressed, in your position. If the extra steps are the only issue, he sounds lazy!

GoToSleepBabyPlease · 16/04/2021 17:55

Does he have hotel room neighbors he'd like to remain near to?

slashlover · 16/04/2021 17:56

@DontBeRidiculous

I think hotel baths are gross, but obviously OP and her husband enjoyed theirs "That One Time".

I don't think it's asking too much for him to switch over to the better (in your opinion) room. The problem is that your husband is too set in his ways to want to change things, so... There's really no solution. Either he will or he won't.

You could explain that it would make you feel more valued if he went to the very tiny bit of trouble that it would take for him to accommodate your wishes. I wouldn't be impressed, in your position. If the extra steps are the only issue, he sounds lazy!

So because OP thinks the room is better, he should move to a room he doesn't want for 7 other days?

Maybe OP should make him feel validated when he's eating Shreddies in his room and living on ready meals at the office for more than half the week?

SnowAllSpring · 16/04/2021 18:07

If I were a man and someone said "Le sigh" to me, I think my penis would retract so far that I would never be able to fornicate again.

theworldsbiggestcrocodile · 16/04/2021 18:23

Is Badedas made out of confers? I've never actually used it-I just inserted it for comedy effect...

theworldsbiggestcrocodile · 16/04/2021 18:23

*conkers

Original poster
ObvNC · 16/04/2021 18:42

@SnowAllSpring

If I were a man and someone said "Le sigh" to me, I think my penis would retract so far that I would never be able to fornicate again.
Luckily I said it to myself, and I have never clamped up yet,
OP posts:
MrsBobDylan · 16/04/2021 19:01

Did he get the tap end op, hence he is not keen on a repeat? Wink

SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2021 19:22

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

Is Badedas made out of confers? I've never actually used it-I just inserted it for comedy effect...
You inserted the conifers / conkers WHERE for comedy effect?
carawaybaby · 17/04/2021 12:54

@ObvNC

I know full well if he'd been allocated room 69 first and transferred to 73 for an odd week, he'd have been desperate to get back to 69.

It's not the room that's the issue, it's the resistance to change.

Sad

Maybe his tastes don't include 69.
Mishmased · 17/04/2021 13:02

@LaurieFairyCake

Cant you just say "you're getting a shag if you take the room with the bath"

That would swing my dh Grin

@LaurieFairyCake 😂😂😂
Mishmased · 17/04/2021 13:03

@ObvNC

Bath is setting the mood folk Wink
Can you not set the mood in the shower @ObvNC 😂
Mishmased · 17/04/2021 13:05

@SleepingStandingUp

Now op wants him to be rigid naked in the bath
He's rigid everywhere but where she wants him to be rigid Grin
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.