To think DH should agree to alter hotel room?

[ObvNC]

DH works 4 hours away from home in our family business.

I'll only nip down once a fortnight nowadays because of covid restrictions,

He always checks into the same room, bit of a creature of habit , but was once put in a different room which I prefer because it has a bath.

The bath is lovely as we get a little bit romantic in this room - 3 nocturnal teenagers at home for a year has had a large impact on our Quality Time together, and a luxury bath adds to the ambience.

The room is exactly the same, maybe 10 yards further down the corridor. No other difference at all. Same view, same floor space, same orientation (these things matter to him )

AIBU to think he should be happy to change to this room and not be ruled by his resistance to change?

First World problems I know there's other far more pressing issues I'm well aware, Colin the caterpillar etc etv

Justanother...

To an exactly the same room?

And not for one night? For all the nights?

It makes no difference to anything except increases the amenity.

@ObvNC

Apologies that should read

Not asking him to change for one night, he could have Room 69 rather than 73 alll the time, really wouldn't affect him

You want him to move to a room he doesn't want to for 7/14 nights to you can have a shag the way YOU want to for 1/14.

If sex in the bath is romantic then I think you've got bigger issues then which room you have, it's hardly the romantic event of a decade or even a day

Changing the room is a nuisance. Is the room identical apart from the bath? I bet it isn't. He likes that room. Perhaps it's further from the noisy life, perhaps the TV actually works (rarer than you'd think) perhaps he just likes the whole set up. And perhaps bath sex isn't as big a thrill for him as it is for you.

I think the fact that he is staying in the hotel all the time and prefers room X means he should stay in room X. You are being ridiculous to expect him to stay in room Y just so on the odd occasion you are there you can have a bath/shag in a bath/whatever you do with the bath.

If I was staying somewhere long term and my DH expected me to change it to suit his one night I would laugh at him tbh.

Op there's obv something he prefers about this room. It might not be something he can verbalise or he might not want to tell you as he thinks he'll sound silly. Maybe it's nosier or quieter or Walter or cooler. But the point is HE LIKES IT.

This isn’t about the room. I see you still haven’t answered a very important question, OP.

Why should he have to incorporate bath intimacy into your sex life when he clearly doesn’t want to?

If the rooms are exactly the same, close to each other and the only difference is one has a bath, then yes he is being pretty unreasonable.

Considering you're travelling 4 hours to see him and he can't do this simple thing which would make your stay much nicer and his stay absolutely no different whatsoever (except the added relaxing bath sex).

Really I am confused as to why he is being this rigid.

Tell him room with bath = night of hot sex
If he can't be persuaded for that reason then there is no hope for him

@emilyfrost

This isn’t about the room. I see you still haven’t answered a very important question, OP.

Why should he have to incorporate bath intimacy into your sex life when he clearly doesn’t want to?

Oh and I understand about the bath sex.

Last year me and DP checked into a hotel room that happened to have a bath. And we spontaneously decided to have a bath together (also teens and dc at home, so never a relaxing bath moment to be had).
It was bloody brilliant! But difference to your OH is when we decide to go away next time DP is insisting if we can try and find a room with a bath :)

I saw that. It doesn’t help your case; he’s done it once and is doing everything he can to avoid getting the room with a bath again.

So he obviously isn’t happy with bath intimacy.

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op... Is he generally uninterested in your happiness?

@emilyfrost

I saw that. It doesn’t help your case; he’s done it once and is doing everything he can to avoid getting the room with a bath again.

So he obviously isn’t happy with bath intimacy.

Fair enough.

It's a point worth pondering.

@Aprilshowersandhail

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op... Is he generally uninterested in your happiness?

He does want a child free night of sex in a hotel room with OP. He just doesn’t want bath intimacy and that’s okay.

I'm with you and the bath all the way. I've brought DH over to the bathside.

@Aprilshowersandhail

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op... Is he generally uninterested in your happiness?

If the only think that can make op happy is sex in a bath, their marriage is doomed.

And what about his happiness? Maybe he enjoyed it but doesn't want to do it again, maybe it feels too contrived to have the bath sex room and know every time she visits they'll be having sex in the bath? Maybe there room is haunted and he doesn't like sleeping there alone? Maybe he had a bad back from the position the next day?

When it comes to sex my dh does whatever gives the night the best chance of success!

Given how much more he stays there than you YWBU to insist on your preference taking precedence. However, I would find a DP who was that resistant to change annoying in a lot of ways so YANBU to find it frustrating.

I know full well if he'd been allocated room 69 first and transferred to 73 for an odd week, he'd have been desperate to get back to 69.

It's not the room that's the issue, it's the resistance to change.

@Aprilshowersandhail

When it comes to sex my dh does whatever gives the night the best chance of success!

Which is BOTH parties being happy, not one having to do something because the other one wants to do the same thing every time

@Aprilshowersandhail

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op... Is he generally uninterested in your happiness?

For fuck sake leave the poor man alone OP he has his room, obviously it feels like a little home from home for him, and you're going on about a bath. Maybe he hates lying about in the bath and doesn't want to do the setting the mood in the bath. I'd be really pissed off if I worked away from home and DH kept yapping at me about a bloody bath.

Tbh op I don't know how you've put up with him for so long

@Aprilshowersandhail

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op... Is he generally uninterested in your happiness?

Maybe he should find someone who understands that he has to live away from more than half the time and if having a room he likes makes that a little more bearable then that's fine.