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AIBU?

To think DH should agree to alter hotel room?

151 replies

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 13:03

DH works 4 hours away from home in our family business.

I'll only nip down once a fortnight nowadays because of covid restrictions,

He always checks into the same room, bit of a creature of habit , but was once put in a different room which I prefer because it has a bath.

The bath is lovely as we get a little bit romantic in this room - 3 nocturnal teenagers at home for a year has had a large impact on our Quality Time together, and a luxury bath adds to the ambience.

The room is exactly the same, maybe 10 yards further down the corridor. No other difference at all. Same view, same floor space, same orientation (these things matter to him )

AIBU to think he should be happy to change to this room and not be ruled by his resistance to change?

First World problems I know there's other far more pressing issues I'm well aware, Colin the caterpillar etc etv

OP posts:

Report

JustAnotherOldMan · 16/04/2021 15:27

@ObvNC

Justanother...

To an exactly the same room?

To you the rooms might be exactly the same, but maybe he just prefers the “non-bath” room, (so clearly not the same), but the point I’m trying to make his, why should he change his preferences, if he is the person staying away from home.

Sorry but I think your the one being unreasonable

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:27

SleepingStanding

My marriage isn't doomed, any sex outside our teenaged house is fine by both of us.

Avd to reiterate, We didn't have sex on the bath, it just set the tone.

OP posts:

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:28

@LimitIsUp

Tbh op I don't know how you've put up with him for so long

Oh he has very many major redeeming qualities

OP posts:

slashlover · 16/04/2021 15:28

It's not the room that's the issue, it's the resistance to change.

Yet you're not willing to change your preferences for one night to accommodate his preferences for the 7 other nights?

slashlover · 16/04/2021 15:29

@ObvNC

SleepingStanding

My marriage isn't doomed, any sex outside our teenaged house is fine by both of us.

Avd to reiterate, We didn't have sex on the bath, it just set the tone.

It sets the tone FOR YOU.

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:30

Oh I'm.not forcing the issue, just perplexed as to why, when the in the main body of the room, there's no difference between 69 and 73, he's resuscitation to change.

OP posts:

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:31

Terrible sentence construction and ridiculous autofill error, apologies.

OP posts:

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 16/04/2021 15:32

If you need to resuscitate the man as well, I'd be very concerned the rigidity wasn't anything to do with you washing your wotsits in front of him...

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:33

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

If you need to resuscitate the man as well, I'd be very concerned the rigidity wasn't anything to do with you washing your wotsits in front of him...

OP posts:

KoalaOok · 16/04/2021 15:34

It's hard enough having to live in a hotel that long. If it helps him cope by having the same room each time then I think that's fair enough. YABU to want him to move for one night just so you can have a bath. Have a bath before you visit him. Maybe he hates sharing a bath with you.

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:35

Just realised I missed a tricked when explaining ceremonial sex.

Sex with Bareskin

I'll get my coat

To think DH should agree to alter hotel room?

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2021 15:35

@ObvNC

I know full well if he'd been allocated room 69 first and transferred to 73 for an odd week, he'd have been desperate to get back to 69.

It's not the room that's the issue, it's the resistance to change.

It might not be rational to you op but it obv gives him a sense of safety / security that he's in HIS room not another room. Take a trip to Ann Summers or give him a copy of the karma sutra if you sex life outside the bath is so boring. Have shower sex

NoSquirrels · 16/04/2021 15:37

@ObvNC

Oh I'm.not forcing the issue, just perplexed as to why, when the in the main body of the room, there's no difference between 69 and 73, he's resuscitation to change.

Why does it matter, though?

You know he’s resistant to change. This is a known fact about him.

So you know that he’s not going to want to change his ‘regular’ room to the bath-having room.

But still you want him to.

You’re just setting yourself up for annoyance for no reason.

Every fortnight or so you get to escape your teenagers to have hot hotel sex with your rigid husband uninterrupted. During a pandemic.

You really don’t need the bath for ‘ambience’, do you?

If your DH is rigid, you’re at risk of sounding spoiled, IMO.

MrsKingfisher · 16/04/2021 15:37

I get it op, you have an opportunity to have a nice evening, for you a bath sparks some romance and you get to enjoy intimacy without the kids.

Him not wanting to change his room probably frustrates you and maybe for you a bath is a way for you both to reconnect or it could be you just like a shag after a nice bath, whatever the reasons if you explained the importance wouldn't he just ask for the room with a bath as his preference from now on?

Take some bleach with you before getting in it though.

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:40

NoSquirrels you're verging on being bang on, I do tend towards enjoying being indulged. The only child is strong in this one

OP posts:

ObvNC · 16/04/2021 15:42

MrsKing, I'll pack it next time I'm guaranteed room 69.

Will work on my persuasivity.

OP posts:

rainbowthoughts · 16/04/2021 15:46

@Aprilshowersandhail

Maybe find a man who would walk over hot coals to spend a child free night in a hotel with you op...

He is spending a child free night in a hotel with OP

Twoforthree · 16/04/2021 15:51

He wouldn't be swapping a shower cubicle for a shower over a bath would he? I couldn't be doing with that.

NoSquirrels · 16/04/2021 15:59

I do tend towards enjoying being indulged

I see, I see.

So you “tend towards being indulged” (aka demanding) but your husband is “ruled by his resistance to change” (aka rigid).

Perhaps neither of you are wrong nor right?

I think you’ve lost perspective on whether the Bath is necessary to an already delightful set-up and your DH can’t see why you get to dictate he changes things for one night as ... it’s one night.

I really couldn’t be arsed worrying about this.

Or maybe you should book the hotel room with the bath for the weekend for yourself, and invite him up after meeting for drinks in the bar? Then Chuck him back to his room whilst you luxuriate in the bath alone?

1Endeavour2 · 16/04/2021 16:00

YABU

MayflowerMaisie · 16/04/2021 16:04

Could you book room 69 for that one night, in addition to his usual room 73?
It would save him packing up all his stuff and moving it for the night. It would also mean it was nice and clutter free - one of my favourite things about hotel rooms!
Holiday Inns are cheap enough, plus you’d get an extra few reward points.

theworldsbiggestcrocodile · 16/04/2021 16:11

If I was making it obvious that I wanted to have a bunk up with someone in a bath I'd like to think they'd wear the inconvenience of switching to an otherwise identical room! I'd be miffed too OP.

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SleepingStandingUp · 16/04/2021 16:14

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

If I was making it obvious that I wanted to have a bunk up with someone in a bath I'd like to think they'd wear the inconvenience of switching to an otherwise identical room! I'd be miffed too OP.

But maybe HE doesn't want bath sex??

Maybe he doesn't want the obligation to have bath sex every second Thursday into perpetuity hanging over him?

If op came on saying she lived at a hotel 8/14 and her DH expected her to swap to a certain to so they could have one particular type of sex every time he visited would everyone be telling her to do it and accept that he liked sex in that way so she should do it whenever he visits as he's making the effort to visit? No.

JustAnotherOldMan · 16/04/2021 16:21

@theworldsbiggestcrocodile

If I was making it obvious that I wanted to have a bunk up with someone in a bath I'd like to think they'd wear the inconvenience of switching to an otherwise identical room! I'd be miffed too OP.

If I was staying in a room I liked and someone said “can we go next door for a bunk up in the bath”, I would be a bit miffed, what’s wrong with the beds in the room I’m in ?

theworldsbiggestcrocodile · 16/04/2021 16:21

But equally maybe the OP likes bath sex and they don't get to do it at home due to teenagers hanging about, so some compromise is needed on his part-I don't know why everyone is acting like the man has been traumatised by bath sex in the past and that's the deep underlying reason he won't switch rooms? It's surely that he just can't be arsed?
It's like me liking one thing more than DP, and DP liking one thing more than I do, (but neither of us has any real objection to the other persons favourite thing)so we both do the thing the other likes from time to time, and then we're both happy.

Op is just asking for a bath in a room...she isn't asking for the moon on a stick.

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