To ask for your terrible parenting stories

[Spanglebangle]

DS just fell down the stairs. I just took the dinner plates into the kitchen. One minute he was watching TV the next I come back from the kitchen and there's a thud and a scream. He's fine a bump on the head but cheered up after a few minutes and was his usual self, I spent longer crying than he did! He wasn't more than one or two steps up I just feel like complete shit this evening.

So please show me I'm not tho only 'bad mummy' with your stories.

When DS was 1 he got hold of a kitchen knife that was on the counter (I don't know how he reached it, he must be part cat). Absolute panic and grabbing his wrist hard enough he couldn't start waving it around and hurt himself.

I barely turned for a second.

I shut the car boot on my child head

I sent my 3 year old to nursery in wellies covered in dog shite

@JesusIsAnyNameFree

Oh yes been there too. DS has started to 'help' unload the dishwasher. He has an uncanny knack of grabbing the sharpest knife as soon as the door is open. I now grab the cutlery basket and put it on the counter before anything else.

I have told this story many times before.

Many, many years ago, I let toddler ds1 eat tortilla chips from the bin. He was deep in the terrible twos, and had been tantrumming for best part of an hour (after a 90 minute scream-fest the night before), and I was on my last nerve - and on the phone to dh in tears because I couldn’t cope - and then it went quiet.

As quiet is always a bad sign with toddlers, I rang off and went to investigate, to find ds1 at the bin, eating some left-over tortilla chips dh and I had thrown away the previous night. But that isn’t the worst part - I knew that, if I took him away from his delicious bin-snack, he’d have another tantrum, and I couldn’t face it, so I let him carry on until he got bored and wandered off - and then I emptied the bin and found a better place to keep it.

He had no ill effects from this neglectful parenting, and now I use toe story as a way to reassure other parents - you may think you are not a good parent, but are you a bin-snack-BAD parent?

I forgot ds2 once. We were rushing to get to a hospital appt for ds1. Got them both ready. Rushed out the door and into the car. Got to the junction out of our village and glanced in the rear view mirror. Only one child in the back !!
Rushed home . Ds2 still sat on front of cbeebies apparently none the wiser ! He was one. Still do a head count now when we leave the house. He is 13 !

Today I walked through the nursery entranceway with DD on my hip, late and annoyed by her antics and not paying enough attention to the fact she was straining away from me, and scraped her face against the side of it. Earliest accident report of the day, she’s got a big graze scab on her lovely round cheek now

Shut ds's fingers in the dishwasher the other night...
Hes also fallen down the stairs, topped and tailed from the tip. Didn't shut the gate, was cooking dinner, thought dh had him in livingroom, he thought I had him, I heard giggling, stuck my head out the kitchen door to see him jump off the top step, luckily caught him before he hit the wall at the bottom of the stairs. I cried more than him too...

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius

Thank you that literally made me laugh out loud!

I can imagine being an eating out of the bin type of parent too! DS is only 15 months but if this only practice for the terrible twos I dread to think what I'll do to avoid a tantrum...

I was chasing DS6 around the hall and he ran out the front door, tripped on the path and got a massive graze all over his face. School principle asked him the next day what happened to his face? “my mum pushed me out the door and I fell on my face”. Principle started laughing at such an unbelievable story 😳. DS promptly burst out crying as he was telling the truth. Cue principle ringing me in work to talk to me about the incident...

@Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese

Ah yes we have has many near misses with fingers in drawers recently.

I love your username. We have The Handwashing Badge book. So I sing washy washy wash wash around 700 times a day!

So many!!!

Bumped DS’s head against doorframes countless times as a baby (terrible spatial awareness while carrying him).

Trapped his finger in a door as a toddler.

Dropped him while messing about swinging him around aged 5 (he was loving it until the dropping part)

Clumsiness aside, a recent embarrassing parenting moment was when picking him up from school last year and being terribly badly organized. Just realized as I arrived to collect him that we had to go straight away to an appointment that I’d completely forgotten about at the other side of town, and on bikes too, so had to cycle together in a rush to make it on time. He complained he was tired and hungry....and I had no snacks with me and no time to go home for any first. So I ran into the post office next to the school and bought 2 chocolate bars for some instant energy for the journey. Of course I’m there stuffing chocolate into son’s face just as judgey parent from his class who only feeds her children organic whole food walks past us. The shame!!!

Hahaha! Bin snack! Hahaha! I try not to swear around my children but don't always succeed. My DD was about 3 helping her Granddad in the garden. He was taking the slugs off the lettuces and shouting look there's another slug eating my lettuce and little sweet DD shouted 'the Bastard!' I got told off by the Grandparents.

Walked away from pre-school after depositing child 1 and crossed the road towards the local shop. Kept patting my pockets, rummaged through my bag as I felt that something was amiss.
Yep... a voice from behind shouted "Mrs Onemore, have you forgotten something?"
I turned around and said " Err, no..." to which a member of the pre-school staff replied, " child 2"

acquaintance I knew had their cot up against the radiator, baby fell asleep with hand up against it and ended up with blisters. Worst part the child was screaming for 2-3 hours in the night and would not settle and the parents never noticed. Only realised in the morning at breakfast time. Hence why I say acquaintance not friend and I really wish I was making it up. Saw them not too much longer after that and as a weaning meal they forgot food for DC while out in town and just fed them an adult size chocolate bar.

My daughter hit her head against ironwork on our stairs because I told her to be careful. I was behind her crawling up the stairs. Ironwork to her left, I was slightly to her left. I spoke to warn her to be wary of the ironwork and she turned to look at me. Left. Really whacked her head. We both cried A&E nurse laughed at me a lot. She had a mild concussion I felt so bad. I don't try to warn them anymore I either hold my breath or intervene depending on the risk. I think it's actually made the younger two less anxious. But I'm not sure it's better parenting.

My DD decided to jump down the first half of our stairs to the half landing, 8 stairs.

I also caught her trying to do press-ups using the sides of the bath while the bath is full, she is 3. Her brother who is 4 was encouraging her.

My DS had to have a tooth removed when he was 1 as he tripped on the smooth patio and managed to catch his tooth on the edge of a slab.

There are lots more from them, I am convinced they plan who is going to be the wild one each day to keep me in my toes.

Oh god loads.

Worst one was when DC2 was about 3 months old and not rolling- we’d just come in from the car and I placed him carefully in between some sofa cushions while I dashed into the kitchen to grab something. Cue a bloodcurdling squeal- he’d somehow managed to flip himself off the sofa and landed face first on the floor. He was fine but I nearly had a heart attack.

Another was when DC1 aged 2 managed to open the front door despite the handle looking like it was well out of reach. I noticed when I could hear road noise- I dashed outside and dd was sauntering along the pavement beyond the front garden, and turned back and smiled at me very pleased with herself. I dragged her back inside and called DH in tears as I was so scared out of my wits.

So yeah, shit happens and you learn from it and become more vigilant.

Shut my eldest DDs hand in a door when she was a toddler.
DS once grabbed the antibacterial spray and gave himself a face full of it.
DD2 has fallen down the steps and nicked a car turd from the litter as a toddler.
There's loads more.

My cousins (much younger than me) used to tantrum a lot wanting to eat dog food from the dish so my uncle just let them get on with it once. Suffice to say they never did it again and it didn't harm them.

My dad once left me with the cashier at a supermarket checkout when I was 5, because he's forgotten his wallet and was leaving me as collateral while he went to get it. I remember I wasn't frightened, I knew he'd come back for me, the cashier was lovely and she gave me a fudge bar.

I slammed the fridge door without realising my 1yo had stuck his hand in. Same child cut his face open on the tiles at the edge of the bath because I don’t know how to adult and wasn’t aware that an external corner should be filed flat for safety. Twice I’ve let go of his hand so he could have a little bit of freedom and he’s run two steps, fell over and seriously hurt himself. And the worst one: he got hold of one of my crisps and nearly choked, and in my rush to leap up and grab him I broke my ankle.

My toddler daughter set fire to her bedroom by leaving a plastic toy balanced on the bulb of an uplighter when I wasn't looking. (I was in the room with her and we left, then a few minutes later could not work out where the foul stench of burning plastic was coming from).

She also fell down two kitchen steps at 11 months old just before I opened the door to a Tory party canvasser who pointed out "your baby appears to have a nosebleed". Luckily she didn't call social services.

I also forgot to give my son dinner one night. We were going to a friend's dinner party (he usually slept upstairs for the duration) but as soon as we got there he announced "I'm hungry" and I thought "oh no!"

We also lost him at Heathrow Airport (he was playing with some other kids) and lost both kids at a festival. Both those times it was because we thought the other parent had them.

On another occasion he missed the coach to a school trip because I not only turned up too late at the drop off point but it was the wrong drop off point. (I am now in the process of being assessed for ADD).

@Sleepisoverrated150

acquaintance I knew had their cot up against the radiator, baby fell asleep with hand up against it and ended up with blisters. Worst part the child was screaming for 2-3 hours in the night and would not settle and the parents never noticed. Only realised in the morning at breakfast time. Hence why I say acquaintance not friend and I really wish I was making it up. Saw them not too much longer after that and as a weaning meal they forgot food for DC while out in town and just fed them an adult size chocolate bar.

Fucking hell, that’s a social services one!

(The radiator, not the chocolate bar)

When DS was about 4 months old I got up from the sofa whilst holding him and somehow tripped over my own foot, went flying towards a bookcase and his head got a proper bash bless him. He cried (obvs) and I started crying hysterically. DH came downstairs and took DS who had stopped crying by this point whilst I continued to bawl my eyes out. It was a complete accident but I felt like the worst mother in the world for a few days. He's a toddler now and bounces quite well, I'm over it

*cat turd not car turd

@Ukholidaysaregreat

Hahaha! Bin snack! Hahaha! I try not to swear around my children but don't always succeed. My DD was about 3 helping her Granddad in the garden. He was taking the slugs off the lettuces and shouting look there's another slug eating my lettuce and little sweet DD shouted 'the Bastard!' I got told off by the Grandparents.

😂😂😂😅