To ask for your terrible parenting stories

[Spanglebangle]

DS just fell down the stairs. I just took the dinner plates into the kitchen. One minute he was watching TV the next I come back from the kitchen and there's a thud and a scream. He's fine a bump on the head but cheered up after a few minutes and was his usual self, I spent longer crying than he did! He wasn't more than one or two steps up I just feel like complete shit this evening.

So please show me I'm not tho only 'bad mummy' with your stories.

Just moved house. I was carrying some boxes the other day, not realising that 2yr old DD had come in behind me. So if course, I didn't see her when I turned around, started walking and kicked her across the room. She found it hilarious and spent much of the rest of the day running into my leg and pretending to fall over.

When she was about 6months, I was carrying her in one arm and dropped her. Managed to grab her with the other hand but only caught her cardigan, which started to unravel as I pulled her up. Somehow, I managed to grab her with the other hand so she never actually hit the floor, but my god it scared me.

Middle child ended up in A&E after tripping over thin air, I yelled dont drop the glass as she tripped which resulted in her not using a hand to stop her face planting into the path - soft tissue damage to nose, concussion and a black eye, as she said 'well I didnt drop the glass.'

Same child went rock climbing, then went visit Grandma, climed a tree in grandmas garden and fell out. She had happily been up to the top of the climbing walls and not a scratch. She climbs a tree, decides to try sliding out and is grazed from her knees to her forehead.

She is 15 going on 16. Always been a bit bull in a china shop.

Never mind the time she tried to sleep like a bat on the top bunk and fell off. Consultant thought she had fractured her knee, jokingly suggested she had been bouncing on a trampoline or the bed. Nope she was hanging off the top bunk being a sleeping bat.

DS, aged around 9, fell off a bouncy castle at a party. Kids were outside and adults were inside. He came in to tell me he'd hurt his hand. He wasn't crying so I asked if he could wiggle his fingers. He did, I asked if it hurt and he said a little bit. Told him he'd be fine and off he went again. He complained all week and I wrapped his hand in a bandage each morning. Dh even made him do karate twice that week (which involved push ups and burpees, so lots of weight on his hand). On the sixth morning I took off the old bandage and the back and palm of his hand were completely black! Off we went to A&E to find he'd fractured two metacarpals. Same DS has swallowed a penny right in front of me and found a pack of sterilising tablets at the back of the junk drawer in the kitchen, opened them with scissors that he'd climbed up on the worktop to get, and ate one of them. We visited A&E so many times when he was young it was embarrassing. He's not much better as a teenager but at least medical staff can see it's not my bad parenting now.

I accidentally put a bonio dog biscuit in my sons packed lunch shortly after we got a rescue dog . In the excitement I think I must have got the two mixed up .

Closed the door on his little fingers yesterday he cried for a few minutes and got over it but I felt sooooo awful

Electric cooker, turnt off cooker ring, little DS on counter top placed his hand on that very ring... rushed to neighbour who just do happen to have the cream stuff .

Out shopping with same DS , he was in buggy with grandmother, I’d gone to Superdrug and he’d climbed out of buggy and cane to find me..,.. ran around the shopping centre panicking, security guard had him... worse 3 or so minutes. GrandMother said I knew he’d be ok... this was a few years after poor James Bulger, DS wore reigns every time we went out

When DS was about 3 everything was an epic tantrum, so when one morning he decided he wanted to use his scooter but not wear a helmet I just let him go without it as I couldn’t bare another battle. Within 30 seconds of the journey he’d crashed into a wheelie bin at full speed and landed headfirst in a recycling tub full of tin cans, left out for collection, cutting his head open. First thing I was asked at A&E was why wasn’t he wearing a helmet

We had our newborn son in his car seat attached to the buggy and went for some lunch. While we were there we undid his straps. On leaving the restaurant we forgot to do them up again. His dad took the car seat off the buggy and the handle hadn't clicked in properly (new to using it so he didn't realise. He lifted the car seat and it just tipped our tiny baby out onto the concrete floor in front of many people who audibly gasped!

He was checked out at A&E and was fine. The doctor cheered me up by telling me his baby had fallen out a shopping trolley!

As a baby I stood up and threw Ds1 over my shoulder, slightly denting his soft spot as I swung him into a hard light fitting. Google was actually very helpful at stopping me worrying too much!
Had a glass of hot water on kitchen worktop for warming Ds2 bottle and Ds1 pulled it over, burning his wrist

Took Ds1 for a lesson. Teacher called me as we were leaving, distracting me. I thought he was by the car, panicked when he wasn't, and found him running off down the middle of the road. It was a 60mph country lane, and no pavements. He would have run straight into the road and likely died if a car was passing. Drive home was 30 mins. Wife took one look at me and asked what was wrong! Apparently I looked so shaken.

I burnt DS’s face with the grill pan. I was about to dish up the tea, pulled the grill pan from under the grill and DS had snuck into the kitchen without me hearing and stuck his head in front of the grill to look in. Thankfully it wasn’t a big burn, just a little line, but the teacher at school did ask what had happened. I felt awful about it. Little sod hasn’t ever stuck his face in front of the grill while I’m cooking again though.

Once when we had just moved house to a place with no working bath or shower DD2 got D&V and I still let her wear my wedding dress because she was on her last nerve and I just couldn't cope with another tantrum.
Once her D&V calmed down she became ravenously hungry but the only thing she would consent to eat in our half unpacked kitchen was a tube of red food colouring. I emptied the tube, made up some runny water icing and squeezed it up into the colouring tube. Like the alien from Men in Black, she ate about 4 tubes full of the sugary stuff before the red mist cleared and she was then able to eat a sandwich, cut into the shape of a butterfly naturally.

I forgot to do the seatbelt on my 4 year old when she was in the front seat on a 4 hour car journey. I noticed after 45 mins when we were about to enter the motorway on a slip road. That was frantic getting the belt on her and I almost threw up after.

@MistressoftheDarkSide

When DS was about 4, I used to do an exercise video - think it was Cindy Crawford - in the sitting room while he toddled about the made safe landing, kitchen, played in his room etc. Often he'd chat and play around me, it was quite fun tbh.

One memorable day I was doing the on all fours and kick your leg back thing - DS had decided to ride his little indoor trike into the room and caught my foot in full back swing - I pretty much punted him straight back out the door. He was fine, but obviously pretty shocked, and I hid the trike when I was doing it in future - I swear my heart actually stopped for a few seconds though!

😂😂😂 I laughed out loud at this, I can just picture it 🙈

My son fell in the duck pond as I bent down to my bag to get the bread out. Saw his shoe as if he was going to step on the water and he went right in. Terrible, terrible moment! Not sure I can laugh about it yet!

@Whatisthisfuckery I had to explain a burn on DD to school. Aged 7 she was allowed to make her own toast. One day she decided to make crumpets and they didn't pop up all the way so she reached into the toaster to fish them out and burnt her little finger.

She told her teacher that she is often alone and regularly has to make her own breakfast. FFS!

@cutebutscary

I accidentally put a bonio dog biscuit in my sons packed lunch shortly after we got a rescue dog . In the excitement I think I must have got the two mixed up .

OMG Bless!

Oh god, why do they do that? I hope you showed her the bouncing them out trick.

My 3 years old got hold of my anti-depressants- I only found out because she told my sweeties were yuckies. We took her to a&e and she was all fine but I felt dreadful for ages :(

I've been on here too long ages and I remember the thread where a poster accidentally removed her babies hair. With Immac. I'm pretty sure she also dyed her baby blue accidentally too so..
it's fine

Two things stand out - both involving my fourth-born !! First was when I went through a car wash when he was about 8 weeks old. He was crying and I thought it was because the car had stopped moving. Mid-wash, I turned around and realised the rear passenger window was fully open and he was soaking.......

The second time was when dh dropped him off at the wrong birthday party when he was 6. I had given dh the wrong date, it was a nerf party and ds had been so engrossed in the guns he hadn’t noticed that he didn’t know anybody. Dh even had a conversation with the birthday ‘dad’...... Dh walked back to his car and drove off !! He only smelt a rat when dd (two years older) commented that she hadn’t recognised any of his school friends

DS1 went down a flight of stairs in a baby walker. Was at my cousin's house that had a basement lounge level, thought we'd blocked them off and were sat chatting in the kitchen when we heard a clattering and thumping. We both looked at each other and ran down the stairs expecting a broken baby, but he was fine.
DS1 touched the hot hob while I was baking with him, I was right there and watched him do it, palm flat down on the hob.
DD I dropped once and DH banged her head into a door.
I'm sure there are more...

I'm very careful apart from a few times when my DS finds the most extraordinary choking hazard items and puts it in his mouth that makes me nearly have a heart attack but I've learnt a lot how to baby proof and be careful next time as I have prevented many accidents.

My DH has had plenty though and I'm constantly yelling at him. He has accidentally smacked ds's head countless times on the door frame :s He once forgot to put the straps on the baby seat in the restaurant and after we had eaten, dh picked up the the car seat and DS just slid out onto the floor, he was about 4-5 months old then and we just froze and then quickly rushed him to the A&E. The customers were all horrified and the waiter gave us water to calm down. DS once fell off the sofa when Dh was watching him while I was taking a shower and a sudden cry made me jump out the shower to find out the DS rolled off the sofa while DH was sitting right next to him on his phone. DH dropped his phone on DS's head countless times when he tries to take selfies. It's always the phone that distracts him and I always tell him off to not use it while he is looking after DS, he is much better though.

I turned my back to wipe out the sink and DS1 cleaned his teeth in the toilet, with the toilet brush.

I left eggs boiling on the cooker while I went upstairs to the toilet and DS2 left the sofa, where he'd happily been watching Curious fucking George. He ended up tipping the boiling water over his hand.

Another time I was upstairs on the toilet and I heard DS1 say to DS2, "Let's play catch with DS3". I thought it was cute that they were including their little brother in a game until there was a loud wail from DS3. They were playing catch with DS3 as the ball and dropped him. He broke his collar bone. My car engine blew up on the way home from A&E afterwards.

DS2 shut DS3's hand in the car door while I was chivvying DS1 out of the house.

It's a bloody miracle they've all reached adulthood and teens, TBH.

@Myexisadick

I shut the car boot on my child head

Me too!

DP and I dislocated ds2's elbow when he was about 2. We were swinging him between us at the time when he suddenly started screaming. We were on holiday and miles away from a hospital. Luckily we had my DM with us who knew how to put his elbow back in place. The reason she knew how to do it was because my elbow had dislocated several times when I was a child.

1 of those times my DM caused it by dragging me out of the kitchen by my arm. Apparently I wanted to play with the knives in the drawer, she was very heavily pregnant and not feeling very well, and I wouldn't do as she asked me, so she tried to pull me out of the kitchen and I decided to fall to the floor and throw a tantrum. This was back in the 80's and she couldn't ring my DF at work (she didn't drive) so I had to wait for him to come back from work to take me to hospital to get it put back in place.

Parenting fails are what make you better parents, because you really try to make sure those things don't happen again, and quite often they alert you to other things that you wouldn't have ever considered might have been a problem before.