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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your terrible parenting stories

195 replies

Spanglebangle · 15/04/2021 19:56

DS just fell down the stairs. I just took the dinner plates into the kitchen. One minute he was watching TV the next I come back from the kitchen and there's a thud and a scream. He's fine a bump on the head but cheered up after a few minutes and was his usual self, I spent longer crying than he did! He wasn't more than one or two steps up I just feel like complete shit this evening.

So please show me I'm not tho only 'bad mummy' with your stories.

OP posts:
Original poster
Spanglebangle · 15/04/2021 20:56

@nattynoonoo821

I have read your post 3 times and I cant stop laughing at the hand sanitizer bit. I'm so sorry, it must have been traumatic but picturing the singing and faceplant is just hysterical.

Definitely one I won't forget for a while!

OP posts:
cocodomingo · 15/04/2021 20:58

My daughter fell off the bed head first into a woven waste basket aged 9 months...i was mortified and she thankfully was unhurt

Rathmobhaile · 15/04/2021 20:58

DD aged 2 and a bit climbed up onto the counter and got superglue from the windowsill and glued her fingertips together.

MistressoftheDarkSide · 15/04/2021 20:58

Then there was the time ex DH and I double dosed DS aged about 6 with Calpol when he was mildly under the weather and we were going to visit my DGM..... he slept the whole way there, was very docile and well behaved.... slept the whole way back and perked up for dinner...... we were trying to figure out if he was coming down with something significant, and I said, well, I gave him 5 ml of Calpol before we set off, and my Ex blanched and said "Oh God, so did I....." We watched him like a hawk after panicking and googling which put our minds at rest a bit but he was right as ninepence by morning.......

ParadiseLaundry · 15/04/2021 20:59

'DS just fell down the stairs. I just took the dinner plates into the kitchen'

I read that as straight after he fell down the stairs you carried on what you were doing taking the plates into the kitchen.

And I just chuckled and thought 'that's the kind of thing I'd do'.

So I guess that's probably my worst parenting story!

Chickenlickeninthepot · 15/04/2021 21:03

Dropped then newborn DS on floor because there was a spider on him and I'm terrified of spiders. It was an automatic reaction but I still feel guilty years later. Got him checked out and captured the spider for DH to remove.

Closed the car boot onto his head recently - a passerby came to help me because we were both covered in blood and hysterical. He was fine and all forgotten after a chocolate biscuit (and Wine for me)

ImSoMagical · 15/04/2021 21:05

Years ago my son (18 months) managed to get out of the house while I went to get a clean nappy. He was naked apart from a vest and a dummy. I ran out in the street barefoot with my dressing gown on crying and shouting. A neighbour found him on a main road (was one way) with a bewildered motorist who'd had to stop his car. I had nightmares for years!! Happily he's 29 now and has never let me forget my neglect! 😁

Original poster
Spanglebangle · 15/04/2021 21:07

@ParadiseLaundry

Oops! Blush Haha, must re read before posting!

OP posts:
Runway · 15/04/2021 21:08

@MistressoftheDarkSide paracetamol doesn’t make children docile or sleepy

ParadiseLaundry · 15/04/2021 21:09

Spangle, no it wasn't you, it made sense to everyone else, it was me. it was obviously my subconscious desperation to find someone else who is as lax a parent as I am GrinGrin

Frustratedbeyondbelief · 15/04/2021 21:09

I was reversing up the road when my 4 year old asked ' is grandma picking xxx up from the sitting room .... (I had been so used to it being just the two of them I had forgot no.3 ) ...

MuchTooTired · 15/04/2021 21:10

DD was about 18m old when she reached up and pulled a just made cup of tea down over herself. It was horrific, I thought I’d put it back far enough out of the way, but either she’d grown or I just hadn’t, I don’t know.

Anyway, on one of the many trips afterwards to the burns unit as I was putting her in her car seat, her DB ran full speed down the driveway, tripped and smashed his head off of the edge of the car door. His head came up with an egg bump, and I rang DH in tears as I had maimed both of our DTs in less than a week.

DD (now 3) is currently sporting a black eye, and I have absolutely no idea how she got it. She’s fallen out of bed a few times so can only assume it’s from that?!

Just today, I was inside for literally a minute putting 5 things in the freezer (all in one drawer, I’d just had a shop delivered) and my DTs were playing with their bikes outside. I came out to get the next few items, and DD was stood on top of one of the cars. She saw me, starts flapping trying to get down as she knew she was in trouble and I’m screeching at her to stay still whilst the risk assessment screams in my brain about her going through the roof (it’s a soft top), the windscreen or her jumping down the side and breaking her legs/arms/neck.

For once she did as she was told, and I scooped her up and put her down. Her DB then tried to climb up!

We went back indoors and I locked it so there could be no great escapes and have started researching nurseries for them.

Forgothowmuchlhatehomeschoolin · 15/04/2021 21:24

Bought myself a chocolate cake - not a small one, a whole gateau and was stuffing my face and thought it felt a bit chilly. Went to check why and front door was open. Dd who was about 2 at the time had opened the front door and got out and even crossed the road just cos l was stuffing my fat face!

Fifilafrog · 15/04/2021 21:30

Not me but my mum. Db was about 18 months. Bundled into his pushchair to walk to the shops. She had forgotten to strap him in so as she pushed the buggy (forwards) over the front doorstep, she tipped him straight out onto the path!

This one is me. DD was about 2. Used to love being swung by the arms. I dislocated her elbow!! I was horrified and hysterical. Rushed to A&E and practically begged to be reported to SS. The nurse just laughed, said it happens all the time (called nurse maids elbow apparently) and popped it back in. I managed to do it again a few weeks later just while holding her hand on a walk!! Luckily the nurse had shown me how to pop it back in myself as she said it's likely happen again!

MinnieKat · 15/04/2021 21:30

The one that sticks out for me was when I accidentally hoovered my toddler resulting in taking the skin off the sole of their foot which required dressing and bandaging to the knee.

Never lived that one down.

VEGAS2016 · 15/04/2021 21:30

Fell asleep breast feeding 5 week old DS & he fell out of bed! Feel guilty even typing that!

BalconiWaferAddict · 15/04/2021 21:35

DS (18m) has learned what ‘sit and stay’ means (he likes to sit on the counter while I make food). Now his GP have a puppy and when they try to get the puppy to sit and stay he does it. Entire family is teasing me.

He also hasn’t figured out that you can’t crawl through windows at full speed. I stopped him the first few times, now I just give a verbal warning then wait for the inevitable thunk and screech of indignation.

He has fallen down the stairs more than once, gotten stuck under a closed stair gate, eaten food of a questionable age that he found under the sofa, and got stuck under his cot for a good 5minutes because the music was on too loud so I didn’t hear him.

Crocidura · 15/04/2021 21:36

DH and DS aged about 7, messing about doing that thing where you pretend to slap someone's face but deliberately miss while making the slap sound with your other hand on your leg. DH completely misjudged it and slapped DS in the face as hard as he could. Somehow DS stayed on his feet but he was very shocked.

DS at about the same age got stuck in the laundry basket, it's a tall wicker one, he sat on the open top and his bum went in so deep that he couldn't move. He was laughing / crying, I ran to get my phone to take a photo Blush

When DS was about 18 months I dozed off on the sofa one afternoon and woke up to the sound of car horns, he was standing on the pavement outside, next to a very busy 4 lane road. Very grateful to those motorists.

Did not notice that DD aged about 3 had started storing blu tac in her belly button until the skin inside was all gungey and inflamed.

Also did not notice for several days that she had found a dead mouse in the garden and was keeping it in her room as a pet.

My worst moment of shame came at DD's reception nativity when the head made a speech, said something about it being nearly Christmas, all the children cheered and DD could clearly be heard shouting Halle-bloody-lujah

DH's came when he had to take both DC to the orthodontist a few months ago. He phoned school to say they would be in late. A little while later the secretary phoned back to say they didn't have any pupils with those names. He had phoned their primary school. They are in Y12 and Y10. He said, "I thought it was strange that they were asking whether a sixth former had packed lunch or school dinners."

BackAffYaSpookyBint · 15/04/2021 21:37

Left two week old DS at the vets. Remembered the fur baby.

Queenie8 · 15/04/2021 21:41

I cut the top of Dc 1 little finger off clipping finger nails, just the tip, but oh my god, the fear, that resulted in a trip to A&E and a sobbing me, DC was fine, the nurse applied a plaster!

Dc2 had 5 black eyes by the time they were 5, terribly accident prone, and all were from tumbles, 2 from being looked after by DGF.

Lastly I wrote the car off in spectacular style in very heavy rain, we all walked away with a couple of bruises. DC were both fine, we were all taken to hospital by ambulance but I couldn't speak from shock for the first ten minutes. Thankfully OH was a superstar and dealt with the paramedics.

Bin dipping 🤣

Survivingmy3yearold · 15/04/2021 21:47

@Myexisadick I've done this too Grin I felt awful, it must have bloody hurt!

Koyto · 15/04/2021 21:48

Took my 12 week old first born into work to proudly show him off, he was all strapped into a carry car seat and sleeping so I lifted him up onto a unit top for everyone to adore. I then tried to position the chair straight on the counter, misjudged the edge and dropped him on a concrete floor 🥲
He was fine but I wanted that floor to open up and swallow me whole!

Skigal86 · 15/04/2021 21:49

I locked my then 10ish month old in the car (with my keys) not once, not twice but THREE times in as many weeks. I maintain there was a fault with the lock, although since I put my keys on a lanyard and wear them round my neck it hasn’t happened! First time I had to call the RAC and was absolutely hysterical, second time husband brought my spare keys and third time I had the boot open and I had to figure out how to flip the seats down from the boot and crawl through. Felt like the worst mum ever. Blush

JungleIsMassive · 15/04/2021 21:54

Stabbed a garden fork straight through DDs foot. In through the top of her wellie and straight out the bottom. Her foot was pinned to the floor. Had to pull it out again. Twas awul!

EIRA3 · 15/04/2021 21:58

Feeding dc3 and dc2 needed a wee, off to the potty she goes... I shouted no reply, felt a draft.
Dc2 had got her wellies put them on and went to the side gate, (which she can open) and there she was leaning on the wall tapping her foot looking at me as if to say took ur time.. she's 2! I know look the back door!!

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