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Original poster

To be having a (secret) stand-off with DH over an empty shampoo bottle?

231 replies

Cheekyweegobshite · 15/04/2021 08:55

Over the years it has become apparent that removing empty bottles of shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste packaging etc from the bathroom is 'my job'.

We finished a bottle of shampoo last Saturday and I duly removed it from the shower and placed it on the bathroom counter to take down to the recycling. Then I thought sod it and I left it there to see how long it would take DH to notice it.

It's still there. In the last day or two I've started moving it around - I put it in the sink, he duly removed it and put it back by the sink. I put it on 'his' side of the counter yesterday, he moved it back to the sink. I put it on the floor, he picked it up and put it by the sink.

Why doesn't he just take it downstairs to the bin???

OP posts:
londonscalling · 17/04/2021 00:34

You went wrong by taking it out of the shower in the first place and leaving it on the side. To be honest, it would wind me up if you just left it on the side and I'd leave it for you to put in the bin! Next time leave the empty bottle in the shower and see if he moves it!

Sn0tnose · 17/04/2021 01:05

Men are odd with this stuff, they just don't see things like us women do

Yes they do. They don’t have some strange sight defect where empty toilet rolls merge into the background, rendering them invisible. And they either deal with it because they understand it’s their job too, or they ignore it because they have so little respect for you that they think it’s your job to replace it and it doesn’t even occur to them that they, a man, should be expected to replace empty toothpaste tubes.

De88 · 17/04/2021 01:08

@LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow

I have EIGHT toilet roll tubes on the side over the toilet. They have started putting the rolls on the holder, but binning the tubes is too complex. Apparently

Also too difficult is moving the laundry basket to get under the bath to get a fresh stash of rolls for the undersink store.

I started putting them under pillows, it worked...
Susannahmoody · 17/04/2021 01:09

We have this all the time. I usually last a week then crack

Harmonypuss · 17/04/2021 02:35

Next time you're in the kitchen and he's in the bathroom, shout to him, "darling, bring that empty shampoo bottle down with you", then if he doesn't, send him back for it, telling him "it's not MY job to put it in the bin, anyone can do it!", but if he does bring it out say "there, that didn't hurt did it? Why had it taken me telling you to bring it out for you to do it, why do you just keep moving it around the bathroom?".

HerRoyalNotness · 17/04/2021 02:47

@Bekstar

My husband does exactly the same, so I now fill them up with water or something non shampoo based. So far he has washed his hair four times with just a bottle of water, twice with hand cream and the only time he has said bathing is when his "head and shoulders" shampoo left his hand blue and part of his face and tinted his haur, because I'd mixed hand wash and blue hair dye to simulate the shampoo. He still believes it's a fault from head and shoulders and still leaves empty bottles that get refilled. Next on my list is a hair removal cream.
GrinGrin
bxlworriedmum · 17/04/2021 07:13

I do this too!!! Toothpaste tube i didn’t resist and threw it away after 3 weeks but the shower gel bottle is still there since February. Some days I wonder who’s winning though Confused

custardbear · 17/04/2021 07:18

Give him jobs he's able to do - my DH will leave toilet rolls on the floor, bottles etc, I'll eventually move them when I'm cross but I've decided to change my cross-ness into finding jobs for him to do, which he does, so I do get him to empty bins and do some bigger jobs so he gets his share of stuff to do

helenoftroystonvasey · 17/04/2021 08:16

In my younger days, I lived with friends in flat shares and now with my husband

I have done this sort of thing many times over the years.

Conclusion: People are lazy bastards. They will wait for you to do it. They know you will give in eventually.

Just give in and take the bottle down to recycling. It'll save a lot of stress

Woodpecker22 · 17/04/2021 08:17

My DH is terrible. We now have seperate bedrooms and ensuites becuase he snores but in his he just leaves everything on the floor and never tidies up or cleans. I refuse to go in there now and let him get on with it. I think he has adhd and is just not bothered by mess. He is now responsible for his laundry and cleaning his own room and I do mine and the childrens and clean the rest of the house. I don't think he has washed his bed linen for months and towels are just left on the floor. I have lost all respect for him as a result. It is a very sad situation.

Beachcomber · 17/04/2021 08:21

@EmotionallyEncumbered

thank you for the sock exhibit link Grin

SomebodyThatIUsedToKnow3 · 17/04/2021 08:25

@Worldgonecrazy

If you have a good relationship try putting it under his pillow and communicate to him that you feel he sees you as ‘lesser’ and that such chores belong to you.

If you don’t have a relationship that good, maybe this is time for a think about whether you want to spend the rest of your life tolerating being treated with contempt.

There is an essay somewhere written by a man whose wife left him over dishes by the sink. He should read it.

I tried the putting it on his pillow and that frequently recommended article. Both resulted in anger because 1 he was going to do it and 2 it was really horrible of me to bother him with all my petty complaints when he was stressed at work. I always think of how angry H got over that article everytime it's recommended Hopefully OPs DH isn't such a jerk. I've given up on standoffs, he's not worth the angst.
Isaidnope · 17/04/2021 08:26

My DC do the empty packets back in the cupboard/fridge trick all of the time and it drives me nuts. I never really eat sugary cereal but one day fancied a bowl of crunchy nut for a change only to find the box in the cupboard was actually empty. So gutted. They also have a tendency to put recycling on top of the indoor recycling bins rather than in them?! Same with laundry, it goes on top of their wash baskets rather than inside them. They get the washing one from DH I think, he puts his dirty washing on top of ours.

I think DH’s most annoying habit ever is leaving cupboard doors and drawers open, does anyone else’s OH do this? You can always tell which cupboards he has been in because the doors are all open. When he’s cooked it can mean six drawers/cupboards are wide open. I really don’t get it.

As for stand offs, I tried it once with his dirty undies and towels in the bathroom. I always picked them up off the floor so one day decided to stop. Everyone walked over them for days and his pile just got bigger and bigger but I still refused to budge. I think it took him a week to realise it was out of hand and pick it up, he does pick them up now thankfully.

ShakespearesSisters · 17/04/2021 08:42

We have the same battle. A finished bottle of shampoo got put on the floor in the shower by him. It stayed for over 3 months until I finally gave in. A second joined it after 2 months. It was frustrating as water would drip on it while showering and make an annoying noise. He won the war that he didn't seem to know he participated in.

mygenericusername · 17/04/2021 08:52

This is why we have separate bathrooms. He can do what he likes in his hovel. My beautiful bathroom is clean and out of bounds to his slovenly ways.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 17/04/2021 09:08

@medebourne

I had a secret stand off like this, and it worked. So I think it's worth persisting.

My stand off was about the 'where's my....?' question that DH and both DC used to ask me umpteen times a day. When my youngest was about 3 I started saying 'I don't know' consistently, always, even if I did know where the thing was. And I started to never, ever get involved in looking for the thing. It took about a year and then they stopped asking. They never knew they were involved in a stand off.

I'm taking this as inspiration - DH has a bad habit of saying "Where's my..." when he really means "Get my..."
Twowilldo50 · 17/04/2021 09:13

i live in a household of 5 adults (2 adult children one with a bf and me and my husband). Five of us make a mess but one is definitely doing more housework. Guess which one? I find that playing chicken over empty cups, dirty plates, floors that need vacuuming, empty bottles of shampoo etc only enrage me and lead to a massive argument. Much better to have a calm discussion about it and have a rota for cleaning etc. Empty or dirty things get put in the offender’s beds. They can’t miss them then. The problem is consequences for adults as pocket money can’t be stopped and I can’t force them to give me cash for a cleaner.

JustDanceAddict · 17/04/2021 09:22

Mine is the same. I once asked him why and he said it was ‘my job’ 😆 tbf he does empty the bins but idk why he can’t take the bottles to the kitchen to be rinsed. He leaves them by the bathroom bin.

JustDanceAddict · 17/04/2021 09:25

@custardbear - that’s my thinking too. He does have his jobs which I rarely do - clearing up after dinner and emptying the bins so it’s sort of fair (as he works long days).

BruceAndNosh · 17/04/2021 09:37

Toilet rolls are easier as it's normally obvious who used the last sheet therefore it's their job to replace AND dispose of empty inner (I'm looking at you, DH!)
But shampoo bottles? There's a grey area where it seems empty but there's at least one more wash available if you rinse the bottle.

Maybe your DH is resisting as he is SURE you used the last of the shampoo so he thinks you should dispose of it

Zeb81 · 17/04/2021 09:53

You won't win this, believe me I know, been there! If you figure it out please share!

Lieinrequired · 17/04/2021 09:56

There are currently 4 mouthwash bottles, 3 shower gel and 2 deodorants - all empty, that my husband has left on a shelf in our bathroom.

CookPassBabtridge · 17/04/2021 10:46

DP is like this, it's just men Grin (of course there will be a few exceptions)

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 17/04/2021 11:27

We have a basket by the bathrom door for recycling so everyone in the house knows to put them there )

Does your DH think you want to Refill/Re-Use the bottle ?

My pet hate is loo roll the Wrong Way Round especially when I have Christmas Toilet Roll** , it needs to be the right way and it's only one month out of twelve . (Goes on 1st Dec)

** Yes - Christmas Toilet Roll is A Thing Xmas Wink

Birdcloud · 17/04/2021 13:04

Isn’t it interesting that this is such a universal man problem? Why is this?
My recent victory is getting my DH to turn his socks inside out before putting them in the wash bin. I think he sees this as a novelty. I praise him a lot!!