AIBU to feel like it's impossible for me to work?

[Pinkwithwhite]

I have 2 under two. My husband earns enough to pay the bills but there isn't enough for anything else! So any extras are now going on the credit card.

How can I financially contribute? We can't afford childcare. Grandparents can help one day a week, maybe two at a push.

I was a nanny before children but don't want to go back to 12 hour days 5 days a week.

Any advice?
What do you do?
I've had a look on a few job sites and there's nothing unless I want to be a carer working 12 hour shifts.

@Pinkwithwhite

Thank you, everyone!

I totally understand when people say he needs to man up and/or get another job but he works incredibly hard and has had 2 promotions in 2years. He is working his ass off to get another.
We've basically had 2 babies in lockdown. No help, no leaving the house. He hasn't HAD to look after them at all. But no he can't do bath time, bed time, night shifts. I'm sure once life goes back to normal he will learn.
Had a look for some jobs today and going to update my cv tomorrow and apply.

I wouldn’t hold your breath OP. If he had any interest in ‘learning’ to parent his own children he would have don’t it by now. If you’re prepared to accept this then you should strap yourself in for the long haul. Personally I would lose the love and attraction to a man who has no interest in his own children pretty damn fast. If you choose to accept it then at least be honest with yourself about the kind of husband and father he is - you won’t do yourself any favours by telling yourself he will change.

And your post is a bit contradictory - having had two babies in lockdown with no help and not being able to leave the house....surely that should mean he’s MORE familiar with how to look after them than less! I don’t mean to come across as attacking you, it’s him that’s crap, but it’s frustrating reading your posts about wanting to work yet being so passive and forgiving about your husband’s lack of interest. Bottom line as PPs have said is that you probably can’t work with two tiny children and a husband who is unwilling to parent them alone ever, unless you do childminding and have them at home. Personally I would never use a childminder who had two small children of their own as well as mine but you may find some who are ok with it. Good luck whatever you decide

Nothing you’ve posted explains WHY your husband can’t look after your children and do normal parenting tasks.

My DH had zero experience with babies when when DS arrived. He read books, asked questions and got stuck in. Because he wanted to be a parent.

@Pinkwithwhite

Thank you, everyone!

I totally understand when people say he needs to man up and/or get another job but he works incredibly hard and has had 2 promotions in 2years. He is working his ass off to get another.
We've basically had 2 babies in lockdown. No help, no leaving the house. He hasn't HAD to look after them at all. But no he can't do bath time, bed time, night shifts. I'm sure once life goes back to normal he will learn.
Had a look for some jobs today and going to update my cv tomorrow and apply.

I don't understand why he can't learn until life goes back to normal. What will change then? Is he currently having to live away from home because of Covid? Is he isolating from you all for some reason?

How on earth have you got to where you are now without him doing any parenting?

What about when you came home from hospital after having DC2? Presumably he had some paternity leave from his oh so important (but not very well paid) work?

I'm sure once life goes back to normal he will learn.

If he wanted to learn he would have done by now, good dads want to take part in the care for their children. I rarely got a look in bathing my ds as dh couldn't wait to spend time with him after missing him all day. I would not have been impressed if he didn't care enough to want to get involved.

The sooner he gets involved the better, there is no reason to wait as waiting is just cutting off your options.