To be annoyed by awkward visitors & guests

[ali444]

I'm a single mum, work part time and don't have a lot of spare cash for luxuries or anything beyond the basics for my DC and myself. We live well but I'm very careful with money.
Dreading the end of lockdown as friends and family will be visiting more often and expecting to be fed (not a problem in itself, as long as they are happy to eat the kind of foods and ingredients I keep in the house).
I keep my food very plain and simple, no fancy ingredients or condiments etc. Don't like mayo (neither do DC so I don't even have it in the house). A friend came once and I made a simple but perfectly find cheese sandwich and she like "have you got any lettuce, cherry tomatoes and mayo to put on it".. No! Someone else asked me for "skimmed milk" (don't buy it, ever!), another one asked for "brown sugar" in their coffee (as opposed to standard white sugar), someone else has asked for "pink rock salt" once when helping me make a salad for a party... The list goes on.
AIBU to find it rude and inconsiderate to be in someone's house and, instead of just gracefully accepting what is offered, start asking for stupid, random and sometimes completely obscure things that they probably knew from the outset I was unlikely to have.
If I'm in somone's house, I never make a nuisance of myself but asking if they've got any this or that... it puts pressure on the host and I find it rude tbh. Anyone else feel the same?

Absolutely bowled over by all the posters on here who COULDN'T POSSIBLY eat a plain cheese sandwich, oh THE HORROR.

The plain cheese sandwich with mature cheddar on wholemeal bread is near the pinnacle of lunchtime foods. It can be improved only by the careful addition of salt & vinegar Squares. I can only assume you're all doing it wrong.

@HikeForward

don't see the point of having teabags in, and because I don't drink it I'd never think to put any in my trolley

I suppose because the majority of people drink tea? Offering a cup of tea to visitors is a sort of social norm so it’s natural they’re surprised if you don’t have a few teabags in, regardless of whether you drink tea yourself. Asking if they’d like a glass of water or cup of milk doesn’t have quite the same meaning. And teabags are so cheap it’s a bit odd not to have them in for guests.

But I don't have the majority of people round my house. In fact it's rare unless it's a friend coming over to have a boozy night in which case tea is not needed

I don't know how some of you get through the day overthinking and bitching so much about everything.

It's laughable that this has been said by someone who called me 'epically rude' because I don't keep teabags in my house

@raspberrymuffin

Absolutely bowled over by all the posters on here who COULDN'T POSSIBLY eat a plain cheese sandwich, oh THE HORROR.

The plain cheese sandwich with mature cheddar on wholemeal bread is near the pinnacle of lunchtime foods. It can be improved only by the careful addition of salt & vinegar Squares. I can only assume you're all doing it wrong.

Agree - anyone who puts fucking pickle on a cheese sandwich is a disgrace (joking, but it does it ruin it).

Lol at people thinking someone not having some arbitrary condiment for a sandwich is ruuuuuuuude 😂

None of this seems like a very big deal to me if we’re talking about snacks for guests. Yes I have it, no I don’t have it. Whatever. Might be a bit different if you’re inviting people for meals.

Do people not have anything in the house for other people?

I don't take sugar in hot drinks, drink squash or mint tea, but have visitors (well normally) who do so keep them in the cupboard. It's hardly Christal.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

This thread reminds me of that scene in Motherland where Julia asks Liz if she has any herbal tea

Yes, or the scene in Pat and Margaret where Victoria Woods says she doesn't have much in, and Julie Walters says "Ooh - don't worry, we can just cook my favourite thing, all you need is extra virgin olive oil, garlic, pasta, beef tomatoes and an avocado! We can manage without the fresh basil." And Victoria Woods produces a tin of spaghetti and says "this is what I have."

You'd be more likely to get the former out of my kitchen than the latter - or at least there would be about ten minutes where I emptied the bottom cupboard in search of a stray tin DP had forgotten about when doing his hoops on peanut butter toast lunches.

I can't stand beige, bland food, so I try to make excuses other arrangements that involve eating before seeing MIL. The only problem is when I can't get out of it because we've had to stay there (FIL in hospital, they both live 200-odd miles away, couldn't get a B&B/Air BnB for more than 2 nights due to the time of year).

It's ruder to accept offered food and then not eat it, as that's wasteful, but when you know your tea will be 1/3 skimmed milk and the teabag containing the sweepings of the Smartprice factory floor will be barely allowed to moisten in the water before it is whisked away and the two slices of 'toast' will look paler than me upon leaving a year of lockdown and floppy enough to be a good candidate for Viagra, whilst being spread with the lowest calorie margarine (I fell for the 'would you like butter or jam?' trap), it's difficult - especially as bringing your own things really isn't welcomed either - it might make crumbs.is different/scary/stain the teacup so it can't be cleaned with smartprice washing up liquid diluted to homeopathic concentrations, apparently.

We ended up being the sort of people standing outside the pub waiting for it to open, just so we could get a decent cuppa and food, when not going to the village shop and buying whatever the hell they had we could eat on the green at 7am.

Thankfully, FIL was transferred to another hospital where it was better for DP to stay at his auntie's instead and I returned home to work. He still lost weight as he was worried about costing her too much money (she refused any offer of contributions to food), but at least there was a constant supply of strong tea and crispy toast.

Having tea bags, instant coffee or squash does not make you a good host. Most people can't stand either

Most people I know drink tea. The country is run on tea dontcha know

There are some weird attitudes about tea on here. It’s just a normal adult drink that the vast majority of us Brits like to drink. Some people don’t like it, which is fair enough, but some of the hysterical responses on here are just a massive over reaction IMO – see below:

It actually annoys me how some people can't function for more than 25 seconds without guzzling down a 'brew', lest they pass out from lack of boring hot drink. The way some people go on about tea you'd think a cuppa gave you multiple orgasms with every sip from JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows for example.

My late MIL didn’t drink tea or coffee, but she always kept it in the house so that she could offer it to visitors. In her village and her social circle it wasn’t uncommon to pop into a friend’s house to visit. They were all well into retirement age and were pleased to have some company. When MIL came to stay with us I always used to buy in Barleycup for her.

We don’t take sugar in drinks, but I always have sugar in the house. People have in the past asked for sweeteners or diet drinks, but I just say “sorry, I don’t have any”

@JamesMiddletonsMarshmallows

I don't know how some of you get through the day overthinking and bitching so much about everything.

It's laughable that this has been said by someone who called me 'epically rude' because I don't keep teabags in my house

Presumably you have loose tea so can still make a pot.

@PurpleWh1teGreen

Do people not have anything in the house for other people?

I don't take sugar in hot drinks, drink squash or mint tea, but have visitors (well normally) who do so keep them in the cupboard. It's hardly Christal.

I think some posters are replying thinking about how THEY react if someone was making requests,

while others are more thinking about how they would not make such demand themselves.

Contrary to some over-excited posters, it's perfectly possible not to be offended by requests (and possibly have everything in stock yourself anyway), but to find the idea of making demands to a friend very rude.

I also couldn't eat a plain cheese sandwich.. its not some bizarre and totally out there thing, some people struggle swallowing dryer, claggier food.

I struggle as I have a sliding hiatus hernia, it makes swallowing thicker, dryer stuff pretty difficult, so I would definitely ask if there were salad/tomatos/mayo etc to make the sandwich less dry.

I wouldn't DEMAND it, but I would politely ask and if the answer was no, then I would either suck it up or (politely) decline the sandwich.

I get the feeling (though its hard to tell as the OP is barely visible beyond the cloud of dust as they hurtle away from this thread) that the OP feels somehow superior in only having 'plain and simple' food, and that the rest of us are disgusting opulent hippocrocopigs for requiring flavour, moistness, and taste in our foods and therefore ANY request for something tastier than dust is OUTRAGEOUS.

If you chew the food properly it won't be dry or claggy.

My late MIL didn’t drink tea or coffee, but she always kept it in the house so that she could offer it to visitors. In her village and her social circle it wasn’t uncommon to pop into a friend’s house to visit. They were all well into retirement age and were pleased to have some company.

Firstly my post was more of an attempt at humour rather than a serious gripe - obviously lost on some here!

And good for your MIL but Im not an retired woman and I don't live in a village where people always pop round, I'm a single parent with a busy life who welcomes maybe 3 visitors a year (bar good friends who come over for wine) who actually come in and don't drop their child off at the door - so it's not really comparable, is it?

Presumably you have loose tea so can still make a pot.

@Plumtree391 no. Why would you presume that? I've never owned a teapot

Some people drink tea, so they imagine that the rest of the world should have tea bags as a staple.

How likely that they always what someone else think as a staple for unexpected visitors...

Some people drink tea, so they imagine that the rest of the world should have tea bags as a staple

Most people drink tea, however those of us who do not often keep a few in for those that do. It's called being a nice person. Some here should probably try it some time.

I come from a country where unexpected visitors are force fed tea and often a full buffet will appear as if by magic. Having a few tea bags in considering the majority of brits drink it is hardly being hostess of the year.

while others are more thinking about how they would not make such demand themselves
It's not a demand! Why so negative? Someone casually asking if you have a thing that many people would have is not "demanding" that thing. Why the need to characterise it in such a horrible negative way?

Earl grey tea for me 😆

I'd just say I don't have it tbh. Most people have sauces so it's normal to ask for, likewise brown sugar. The milk thing was just a question, you can just say you don't have it.

The rock salt was probably a bit odd but again, 'oh sorry I don't use that'.

Another day, another Batshit thread on MN

I love how politely asking if someone has something fairly common has morphed into making demands.

I look forward to informing everyone I know that they're so rude and demanding.

@Honeybobbin

Tea, not twa! Why would I type twa? DYAC!

I read tea twats, sounded a bit harsh but quite appropriate 😂