Husband won't share things with me

[Roomuma]

Dh said he won't share the netflix password with me because I'm a 'blabber mouth'.
This led onto him saying that he doesn't share loads of things with me because he worries I'll talk about it with someone else.
I am quite an open person with certain people (best friends, my mum etc.) and he is not like this. However when he asks me to keep things private I do try my best, a couple of times I have accidentally let small things slip but these have been genuine mistakes. I supposed this is what he means by blabber mouth and I understand how he feels but all the same I feel like I'm being treated like a child.

Even the uncle thing is bad, it’s embarrassing or nosey he has looked him up and you’ve told your mum that his done it so now she make think his weird!

Don’t say anything means just that, not say something because you feel it’s “not that bad”

@VegCheeseandCrackers

OK fair enough OP I've read your latest update which yeah OK I agree that's not a big breach of trust but in all fairness that wasn't made clear at the start. Yeah he's BU not sharing the password.

Do you not think that OP is being just a little economical with the truth here? Brushing aside his concerns? Forgetting all the other times she just slipped up?

As previous posters have asked....

Why do you need the password? Once it’s put into your tv/pc/tablet/phone/Xbox you don’t need to sign in again.

You’d seriously tell people you can’t share the password ‘because he said not to’?

Not because you agree with him?

The way you suggest blaming him for the decision rather than presenting it as a joint decision is also completely undermining. May as well say ‘if it was up to me I’d let you have it but meany old mean pants won’t let me’?

Come on Op. Time to grow up.

He sounds secretive and over sensitive.

I'd explain dh didn't want me to do that if anyone asked. Unlike the thing about my uncle a password is not something you could accidentally let slip in conversation.

So you'd blame your DH instead of just saying No?

Not sharing your Netflix password with your wife is controlling as fuck, and the LinkedIn thing far too minor to justify it, so I’m not going to be too quick to discount the possibility that OP is sharing actually quite normal things with her family and that this is his way of getting in the way of/controlling her other relationships. Also, I hate people that think they’re interesting enough for everything they tell you to be a secret.

@AhNowTed

Jesus have the previous posters missed that this is a Netflix account.

Not exactly the code to the safe.

Yes OP he is being utterly ridiculous.

I think withholding the Netflix password is probably more to wind the OP. I’m sure he’s not actually bothered about the password 🙄 If my partner was like the OP and “accidentally let things slip” then I would be fuming. Especially things I had specifically asked were kept private! @Roomuma I think you need to realise that YOU are in a relationship with your partner...your best friend etc are not. They have no need to know his private business!

I'd explain dh didn't want me to do that if anyone asked

Such an odd way to put it. You do seem quite immature, OP.

Why was he interested in your uncles job?

He sounds nosey and controlling
You sound gossipy

This all sounds odd.

I guess you want the password so you can watch on your phone or tablet, because surely you can watch it on a TV, once the password's been entered.

Why wouldn't you already have known your uncle's job? Why would it be such a secret that your mother would notice that you knew?

Maybe your husband is going OTT in the instance of a password, but I can't say that I blame him for being careful with what he shares, if you have a habit of letting things slip.

I'd explain dh didn't want me to do that if anyone asked.

My DM does stuff like this, it's always someone elses fault - it's so annoying. I've stopped telling her stuff because she either tells people or makes something someone else fault.

@Umbivalent

I'd explain dh didn't want me to do that if anyone asked

Such an odd way to put it. You do seem quite immature, OP.

🤣🤣 I’m thinking that myself @Umbivalent 🙈 surely you just say “no”, not “my DH doesn’t want me to”

Also @Roomuma - can I just ask...why not just take our your own subscription to Netflix if you’re that bothered? 🙈🤔

How does he even know you let slip about your uncle's job to your mum - was he there at the time or did you feel the need to tell him afterwards? Same with the other "slip ups" - how does he know?

He has every right to keep personal information that he doesn't want out to himself and not disclose them to you. Your not trustworthy. You have no right to be upset imo. It's just facts.

On linked in you can see who checked you out

I have a crazy stalker and I can see when she has checked me out in Linked in again

Anyway, why do you need the Netflix password? Can you not watch Netflix now? That’s weird if him

I treat my mum the way your husband treats you. She can’t hold her own water. If I tell her something private she’s on the phone blabbering before I’ve even left her house, even if it’s something boring. E.g. Me: “we’re thinking of moving house”. ~2 minutes later~ Mother: “Hey Mavis, you’ll never guess what, Sarah and Mr Bellam are moving house. No, don’t know where they’re moving to but I’m sure it’ll be near here. No, not sure about their budget but the one they’re living in must be worth x amount and they’re going for somewhere bigger. I wonder why they needs a bigger house. Maybe she’s pregnant. I hope she’s pregnant. Bet it’ll be a girl because it’s all girls down my side of the family. I wonder if she’ll have freckles. Mr Bellam has freckles.”

That’s what happens when I tell my mother anything so everything is on a need to know basis. I was once in hospital for 3 weeks and didn’t tell her because the whole of the county would have known 😂

However when he asks me to keep things private I do try my best
That is appalling, op. You dont try your best. You do it.

I bet for him to be this secretive over a netflix password, youre really downplaying you gossipy nature.

The Netflix password is not a state secret, so YANBU there.

For the rest, YABU. When told things in confidence, you need to respect that confidence, not "try to".

Your relationship sounds like it's shit, honestly. He doesn't trust you and you feel belittled by him. Not exactly a recipe for happy ever after, is it? Perhaps it's time to cut your loses and end it.

How many "little things" has OP let slip over the years, though? Maybe her husband is just fed up. If you want a Netflix password, create your own account. 🤷‍♀️

I actually have some sympathy with the Netflix password even though it may seem petty and controlling. I pay for Netflix for us as a family which has never seemed to stop my now late teenage early 20s children, sharing it with their friends either by telling them it or more usually logging onto a friends device and it saving. DH also saved it to a TV in an air b&b and forgot to log out when we left. There is also a chance albeit a very small one he uses the same password for other things and wouldn't want to take the chance of OP accidentally letting slip a password that someone else could use to access his Facebook or something

I actually DID leave someone over this. We were in our early 30s, so not kids. He told family and inlaws about me being made redundant. I had his brother's girlfriend smirking at me dropping hints and asking about 'my job'. I am a quiet person and I hate everyone knowing personal things. I don't know personal things about anyone so why should they know about me.

My grandmother was the exact same and none of us ever told her anything about work/school problems, falling out with friends etc.

I would resent it hugely if I had a partner like this. If you can't tell your partner a thing then there is no point.

Why are so many people on here being awful to the OP, mostly on the basis of her op which is 'letting a few things slip'?

My dad is definitely a blabbermouth, and it is annoying because there are things I'd like to share with him or get his opinion on, but we end up keeping secrets from him because we can't trust him not to say anything.

However that doesn't make him a 'nasty gossip' like people have said up post. He's a lovely person, who has flaws like all of us, and ultimately there are far worse flaws to have. They're married, unless they have completely separate finances then that is a shared Netflix account and not sharing is pretty controlling.

Based on your update, your husband is an arse and being more than a little weird and controlling.