Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

@Whythesadface

I can just see their faces tomorrow, when all the GOOD stuff is gone and little bro has his every morning. I cried this morning over the state of my lounge and kitchen, after mine made pancakes late at night, they want to go shopping today, I don't. I have decided that until or the boring food is gone, I won't be buying anymore. We have lots in, just no grab and go stuff. Oh and the boot has a stash in, but mine never help unload and have no idea how much nice stuff I still have,

That would infuriate me too. If they're old enough to cook these things, they're certainly old enough to clean up after themselves too. Every Single Time.

When my oldest 2 were teens I used to keep all non perishable in the boot of the car that came to work with me.
Gannets.

Sounds annoying op. I remember when my older brother and sister would come home from school and eat basically an entire loaf of bread between them in the form of toast and butter. Then my brother would get started on the cereal. Used to drive my mum demented.
I agree with maybe getting them a box of krave each (and your 9 year old) and then telling them that once theirs is gone that's it, and they dont even want to try taking their little brother's. Otherwise, I'd just fill up the cupboards with own brand stuff and come to terms with the fact teenagers eat a fuck ton and are pretty selfish beings! Hide some stuff away for your 9 year old

DSS does this

I put some in the cupboard that I know he will raid and the hide the rest away in my bedroom.

I put enough in the cupboard for dss to last a few days and if he eats it all in one go then tough shit. It's gone

I hide precious things, I label lots of things with sharpies - half the things in the fridge say either Help Yourself or Needed For (Day).

Its wierd with teens. I want them to be independent eventually but not by eating my favourite crisps.

We've resorted to DS having his own fridge and cupboard. We top them up with food. He knows if it's in there he can eat it, anywhere else he HAS to ask.

How about give a cupboard to the two eldest- if they eat everything they they both starve!

I understand ( thanks though hun ) but find it hard to believe

I had 4 teenagers and they knew snacks were to share. I'd of been fuming if one had stuffed their face with it all.
The poster has already said the kids waste food by eating a load of crap before a meal then not wanting what she has cooked, or the kids cooking loads of food they then don't want.
To me it's not about the kids been hungry, it's about them being greedy. It's like having 3 kids and buying each one a bar of chocolate, and 1 of them eating all 3 bars as soon as they are told about it.

Christ almighty. Just buy more of what they want.

And remember the precious 9 year old you're cosseting now will be just like them in four years.

This isn’t really about food but lack of respect and respect for boundaries.

Clearly, the food you buy has to be shared by everyone and last until the next shop. At their age, it’s not hard to understand. Getting up in the middle of the night to eat a specific food which was for another famiky memmebr, or eating more than they know is their fair share or food which has been targeted for a particular meal is just selfish and greedy. It sounds like something a small child might do.

Clearly, they need enough food and you need to provide enough basic foods to fill them up. It this isn’t really about hunger but about control and selfishness.

Do they lack respect and ability to understand boundaries about other aspects of life, such as making noise, clearing up, doing basic chores?

They are too old to need this, but need it they do because they haven’t learned at a younger age.....establish EXACTLY what they can eat and when and establish EXACTLY what the consequences of not sticking to this will be and IMPLEMENT the consequences.

Consequences for this age group could include that you will lock all food of all types away and all there will be will be the 3 meals a day (no-one starves from a lack of snacks) or that they will not be allowed out or you will remove something else they like such as internet. It sounds ridiculous for this age group, but they must learn to not take more than their share in this selfish way.

They clearly haven’t grasped or cared about limited budget, sharing and making things last but have got a selfish attitude which is all about grabbing g whatever they can get....it’s almost a competition to grab it before anyone else can. It’s odd and the kind of thing you often see in kids who’ve been in care, who were either deprived of food or had irregular food, or in kids who have behavioural problems and are prone to stealing either at home (can be any random items rather than things they want) or at shops.

Sorry you’re living with teens who behave like this. Consequences will be difficult to implement but like when you’re dealing with toddlers, clear boundaries and absolutely rigid enforcement will be needed here. Do t let it continue and do t let people justify it by saying they are hungry. Hunger and stealing or wasting food are 2 different issues.

Oh my god, I have three tweenage boys. This is going to be my life soon, isn’t it?

@Wowyouareboring

Punishment for eating the Kraves 🤦🏻‍♀️😩

punishing your children for eating food, your joking right ?

Thats just what I was thinking, I have 4 age 13,15,19 and 23.

My 15 year old literally eats a box of Krave a day, You only get 2 teenage sized portions in the smaller boxes.

We are a family of 6, and we get through a lot of food but I expect that, they are not toddlers anymore.

Per day I get through (at least)

6 pints of milk
1- 2 loaves of bread
6 eggs
2 cartons of apple juice
2 cartons of Orange juice
6 yoghurts

That is daily and doesn't include meals or other food I buy.

Kids grow, they eat more, it doesn't make them greedy or wasteful.

Firstly I would make them replace the younger ones cereal.

My SIL used to hide food which I thought was bonkers until I needed to!

Buy lots of cheap pasta, bread, noodles- teenagers do need to eat a lot ime.

Be strict on wastage.

My two have a snack box each filled to overflowing once a week when it's gone it's gone. They are both good at rationing themselves.

@ZeroFuchsGiven so it’s ok for them to eat an entire box of sugary cereal, leaving none for their younger brother, because they are hungry? They couldn’t make a piece of toast, eat some of the egg fried rice they made instead?

Agree @JensonsAcolyte The lack of reading comprehension on your thread is annoying.

Just one of my ds's ( aged 18 ) can go through a packet of Krave in a day. I tend to turn a blind eye because he is underweight.

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

I understood your point, OP.

The chocolate Krave cereal is a treat food, your youngest eats about 10g at a time in his other cereal/porridge.

Your other two children happily eat 250g+ of this Krave cereal as a portion, leaving NO Krave cereal for your youngest to have in tiny quantities IN ADDITION to his other cereal/porridge.

Your other two children have ACCESS to ALL other standard cereals and porridge, the same as your youngest does.

The older two have taken the Krave cereal (which is, to all intents and purposes, used like 'dressing') and eaten ALL of it, leaving none for your youngest son.

You're not depriving your older two children of any foods, they have access to it all, but they have no brakes when it comes to eating 'treat food' which there is limited supply of.

It's greed that is the issue; it tastes nice so they want all of it, leaving none for their younger brother.

Thats what I read too. It surely can't be only us who have english comprehension skills.

No the OP shouldn't treat them all as tiny children, but she can treat them as adults when they behave like it. No solutions to offer, other than hide youngest DS's Krave. But eating lots of sugar can make you more hungry, so I would recommend buying healthier (and less attractive snacks) ...

and just to add: eating food is not wasting it! It's supposed to be eaten.

Eating food you don't need is
also wasteful.

There's an unpleasant level of greediness and gluttony to what you describe OP, I would find that incredibly irritating. I also find it hard to believe that your average teenager nowadays has such high needs for calories, it's not as if they're working on farms or on shipyards or in domestic service working 12 hour days. Granted they are generatonally bigger and taller but maybe that's because they eat so fucking much and there seem to be no limits. It starts with the youngest children seeming to have food presented to them at least every 2 hours, I have seen people give their children snacks at a 30 minute church service. I like my grub as much as the next person but I do think we have tipped over into gluttony as the norm at a societal level

Re the Kraves, my teenagers only get a box as a treat once in a while as they are pure shite and when it's gone, it's gone. They are perfectly happy the rest of the time with bog standard cereal or toast and appreciate the crap stuff when they get it.

I am quite shocked at how many people's kids/teenagers start cooking and raiding the food at unsociable hours! If mine tried to start eating at 3am there would be hell to pay!

Snack box each - once the foods gone for that month/week (whatever you decide) then it’s gone.

I agree with those saying they should be tasked with the shopping, show them the budget, work out meal plans and have them do the list.

DD is 11 and does this with us so she knows the value.

Get them a reasonable amount of personal staples themselves instead of just snack boxes.

Put in there eggs, flour, pasta, box of cereal, bread etc. Then have one each in fridge with cheese etc.

Tell them what meals you are cooking each day and what time it's served. And serve the meal to them on a plate and place on table. Any extras leave in kitchen and when everyone's finished dole out leftovers equally between those who do want it.

Tell them clearly their personal boxes are theirs for the week for anything beyond the meals you make. And that anything they help themselves to beyond the food provided will be paid for by the, - by deducting from next months pocket money.

I understand totally what you mean about not wanting to be so harsh with that level of control. But they are taking the piss and if they want freedom they need to prove they can act responsibly.

@lughnasadh

Christ almighty. Just buy more of what they want.

And remember the precious 9 year old you're cosseting now will be just like them in four years.

So there are to be no budgetary or other limits to the amount of food these young people consume? Why not just be done with and get a trough, fill it with the most expensive and indulgent cereal, pour in the milk and let them have at it.

They sound like they need more protein.

I have two teen DSs and I absolutely pile them with protein - eggs being the main (cheap) one.

Even they aren't hungry or want a snack after a 6-8 egg omlette.

I'd also rather fill them up on a £5 steak for dinner than have them eat Kraves and the like at midnight

More protein!

No, don’t just buy them more if the stuff they have effectively been stealing.

This isn’t just about food. It’s about knowing how to live communally and at this age they are old enough to know the impact of either making a terrible mess and leaving it for you to clear up, or taking food which is meant to be shared or earmarked for a meal. They are choosing not to engage with those social norms but behave selfishly, or they have some kind of underlying developmental problem if they cannot grasp the concepts.

Do not excuse this behaviour people. Do not pander to it.

Yes, there needs to be enough basic food and 3 meals a day. But no-one needs to gorge on snacks .

I’d simply stop buying the stuff to be honest.