Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

[JensonsAcolyte]

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating considering all the shit they eat.

@JensonsAcolyte

Right, I have made snack boxes. They now have 100g of sugary cereal and 7 Penguins for the week.

I’ve actually got the big sacks of pasta and rice this week and 15 eggs so they can go wild with that if they like. I’ve told them both if they are truly hungry they can have bread and butter (hell, they can even have jam or peanut butter if they like, just not half a family sized jar of Nutella).

I cook large quantities of nutritious dinner every day which often goes uneaten by them as they ‘don’t like it’ or they’ve stuffed themselves on shit all day.

I’ve given the egg fried rice to the dogs.

I’ve just looked at the Tesco receipt from Sunday and I spent more on snack and treat foods than I did on six bottles of wine which smacks down their (rude) argument about me wasting money on that.

Gosh I feel you! The DSS's (11&13) devour anything that is crap basically - I can't buy anything unhealthy without it being taken. And we're talking family sized snacks here.. does my head in. Ive recently stopped buying snacks and the younger DSS moans - but gets money off his mum at the weekend to buy sweets at the shop. 🙈I'm just back from the dentist with him and he needs 2 fillings - dentist said lack of brushing and poor diet has caused it. I let him know that was one of the reasons I'd stopped buying snacks - plus he's a dirty buggar- never wants to shower or clean his teeth. They also always deny taking the biscuits crisps etc. I've got a stash in my bedroom at the moment - I feel like a right hoarder 🙄 they have no idea what portion control is - and scrape veg into the bin... good luck - I ain't judging you!

We have started hiding food because as soon as it comes in some sod eats it. I think I have something in the cupboard but when I go for it it’s disappeared. It’s so bloody annoying. Things like crisps, biscuits, coke etc. I keep buying them cos I like an occasional bag of crisps or a coke with a whiskey. I now have a huge tool box in the garage filled with goodies. Let’s see how long it is before they find them.

Your older children are old enough for part time jobs!

I’d be putting a lock on the cupboard and if they want anything else they need to ask for it. You shouldn’t have to put a lock on it and they shouldn’t have to ask - but they can’t be reasonable.

Fruit and veg are free access - but everything else they’ll need to ask for.

Food wastage is such a large issue! It’s not just about the financial impact but the environmental impact too.

I think you are missing a trick here, but it's not about food, it's about respect and values.
You need to sit them down and calmly discuss all the things in this thread. The greed and lack of respect to you, and Ds2, for whom the krave was bought, I'd just not ok.

The not eating the chicken fried rice after making it, and the taking a huge portion, then not liking the aubergine, is just ... entitled.

I wouldn't put up with this.

I buy tonnes and tonnes of cheap basics, Like oats to make porridge , Weetabix, honey nut loops and then occasionally a crave as a treat. I buy tonnes and tonnes of bananas satsumas grapes there's always loads of bread , sausage rolls , baked beans, part baked baguettes etc, yoghurt's. My 2 eat tonnes.

My mum tried snack boxes when we were teens. Didn't last long. My dad swapped our stuff for the things he didn't like! Yes he also lacked control.

@Gwenhwyfar are you actually serious?

Children dictating what their parents buy because they can’t get their own way? Wow, the real world will be tough for those kids that allowed to get away that!

Just because OP chooses to buy wine doesn’t mean she has to choose to buy her kids countless treats as well. So long as there is food in the house for them to eat that’s all that matters. Nonetheless - she does buy them treats which they devour. At 17 and 18 they’re old enough to know better.

I have a limited budget for food. So, what treats I can afford to buy need to last and be treated fairly. If they’re not - then they’ll be hidden!

My two have stopped eating with us. They are wanting to do their own things. I've stopped stressing and let them get on with it. They know which is their shelf and a few times ds has come and asked me who a certain item belonged to as it was on his shelf but he wasn't expecting to be allowed it. They have 99% free reign to eat what they want but we have two fridge and they know to check before eating anything from the second fridge as that's where I keep ingredients for meals. Tbh I wish they would eat more. At least for tomorrow I know ds is eating dinner with us.

We were never allowed to take food without asking. Since they are both old enough to be mature and know about right and wrong, perhaps sit down and have an honest conversation about your personal budgeting worries - perhaps discuss a meal plan that you all stick to throughout the week. Make it quite communal - all choose recipes to make and eat together then work off that... it is wrong that they take their younger siblings food - no two ways about it.

There are a lot of comments on here that don't take the pandemic into account. Taking teenagers shopping is a pita right now, you should not be in the supermarket in a pair unless you have a really good reason. Part time jobs are very hard to find. And teenagers don't have the independence they would naturally have, in fact one of the few things under their control is what to eat. Keep persevering op but please don't feel that you have raised greedy monsters!!

I don't make my kids have to ask for food and when at work etc not practical
If i had something special I would tell them to not touch and that would be left
Although older ds did nick my vodka once and filled it with water to make it look like he hadn't had any
Which was worse as all the vodka was then ruined
But now I just don't top up treats between shops and when its gone its gone and they have to eat real food

Boxes of Krave are tiny, I’m surprised it lasted so long actually ..

I get it’s frustrating but they’re old enough to get jobs, ask them for money towards the food and keep the stuff for the little one locked away.
When they make huge portioned meals for themselves just keep what’s left for them to eat the next day.

I hide DD's (7) snacks so that her brother (18) doesn't eat them. He will snack rather than eat anything substantial so if it's not there he has no choice. I do get him microwave stuff like pizza, pasta, rice etc which he knows he can get himself. He went through a stage of eating Ella's kitchen fruit pouches when DD was a baby rather than get himself anything, that was the point I started hiding food!

Around 17 this was me, mum made me replace stuff, in the end I bought my own, tho was mainly crisps and snack things.. generally ate dinner and was too lazy to cook back then 😅 ate whatever was given followed by snacks and didn't gain too much until after baby 🙈

At 17 and 18 they should be working and buying their own food.

I wouldn't make mine work at that age. If they are in education then they will be at college for 6 hours a day, plus homework and studying for assignments or exams, so education-related time is roughly the same as a full-time job anyway. They should be enjoying their free-time away fro my study, not working imo.

Buy the Lidl’s version of everything.

@KoshkaKills

At 17 and 18 they should be working and buying their own food.

I wouldn't make mine work at that age. If they are in education then they will be at college for 6 hours a day, plus homework and studying for assignments or exams, so education-related time is roughly the same as a full-time job anyway. They should be enjoying their free-time away fro my study, not working imo.

I wouldn't have made mine pay for their food either. Any earnings from part time jobs was for them, to supplement their allowances, not to go into housekeeping.

Remember this well! The only way i solved it was to hide a few things, growing teens sadly!

Mine are 13 and 15 and I am lucky if a cereal box lasts 3 days. They are the only ones who eat them. I've created some rules. No cereal outside breakfast otherwise I stop buying and switch to porridge. I dont keep biscuits or any treats at home. Send them to the corner shop when we fancy any. Always have sliced wholemeal bread, peanut butter, bananas, eggs. Stuff thats full of carbs that is easy to make so they go for that for snacks. But it was a shock to see how much food they go trough now. And they are both slim too. So I suggest is to only way is to only buy treats when intending to consume. In my experience is the only way. If it is the house they will eat.

Someone I know partly solved this by buying a bread maker. Every day a fresh loaf to demolish.

Butter took a pounding though

My teenage DC’s are the same as yours OP. They are 14,16 and 18. I also have a 9 yr old DC and she eats nearly as much (more sometimes) than her teenage siblings. Literally as soon as the food is home and unloaded it’s being eaten. 3 long French sticks are gone in an hour. I limit the snack food I buy because it’s gone in a day also and cereal containing chocolate is gone within 24 hours and they are left with either cornflakes or porridge! It’s a weekly battle but they’re all selfish and they feel if they don’t get to it first it will be gone! It’s a constant battle! DD1 steals my tonic water every week which makes me rage as I enjoy a couple of G&T on the weekend and often end up having to go and buy more when what I had was enough! I’ve tried everything to stop them behaving so selfishly but there’s no telling them! Thankfully she’s off to Uni in September so my tonic water supply will be untouched for a while!
They also enjoy cooking and making a mess and using/ eating all the staple foods too! I don’t mind this so much.

Thankfully mine doesn't like tonic water midders, I like my elderflower tw with and without gin.
Mine is also off to uni in September and there will be much more chocolate 🍫

A box of knave is like 400g, how can they simultaneously have eaten all the knave and then left half a box to be divided between them?

@KoshkaKills That’s one way of looking at it, but for what it’s worth, I was the only one of my uni friendship group who’d worked during sixth form, and I was the only one who walked into a fairly decent job straight after graduating. Employers want work experience.

To be honest, if you are swearing at your children in the same way as you are swearing here, I'm not surprised your children are showing a lack of respect. Why should they show you any respect when you have (apparently),failed to teach them about respecting you.

You make them ask for food!?? Maybe that's where you're going wrong