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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenagers and food waste, I am losing my mind.

535 replies

JensonsAcolyte · 13/04/2021 10:33

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating Hmm considering all the shit they eat.

OP posts:
L3andlosingit · 14/04/2021 20:26

We were on a tight budget growing up. As hungry teenagers, we knew we could eat as much bread/jam/pb/marmite as we liked but to leave the ham and cheese alone. My brother could eat most of a loaf in one go when he was in a growth spurt. Never crossed our minds to touch chicken or beef as we knew that was for a main meal. Not sure I can help much with how to enforce it except to give them snack boxes as others have said.

These days you can get snacks much cheaper. It’s only £1.20 for an 18 pack of cheap penguin style biscuits in tesco. One pack each for the week and a large bag of own brand crisps each would still be far less than £10. It doesn’t need to cost a fortune between that and toast.

All the people bleating about teenagers getting a job and contributing need to look in the mirror. They’re kids at home. There’s plenty of time for spending money on boring necessities once they move out. Same goes for those saying it’s wrong to limit what they can eat. They’re kids. They don’t understand budgeting. You don’t really get it until you have to do it for real, so yes, a family on a budget needs boundaries around food. It is normal.

KoshkaKills · 14/04/2021 20:28

@InsolentAnnie

I just feel they have their entire adult lives to work day in and day out until they retire. Living to work. I'd like them to just deal with their education and social lives while theu can. So they might not get the best job after graduating, they have most of their lives to work upwards.

Iwantacookie · 14/04/2021 20:43

Ds1 was like this
I used to give him a list of things he could have when he was hungry.
I had to because he was eating us out of house and home.
Worked really well and then he started making big batches of chicken & pesto pasta and snack on that when he was hungry rather than demolish everything else.
I do feel your pain ds2 is starting to get an appetite like ds1. This lockdown his go to snack has been crackers and ham.

Owl55 · 14/04/2021 20:51

Morrison’s do a copy of Krave for half the price!

Harpydragon · 14/04/2021 20:51

We were never allowed just to help ourselves to food at any age, we were allowed food if we asked and it wasn't too close to meal times but we rarely did because we just didn't snack in that way.

I have done the same with my son. Outside of meal times he has to ask us if he can have something. If it's close to meal times the answer is no, I don't want to waste main meals because he's been eating crap all day. If he's genuinely hungry he can have bread, porridge or fruit.

I actually think it's quite disrespectful of your teens to just help themselves to food without regards to cost or other family members.

Problem is it's now too late for you to do anything about it because you've never had those limits in place. The only thing that may work is sitting them down, giving them your food budget for the week and tell them to sort out all meals and snacks for the next week. Can't go over budget and once it's gone, its gone and if they eat everything in the first couple of days they'll be going hungry for the rest of the week. AND stick to it.

If your kids are going to cook huge amounts and not eat it all, get it in the freezer as soon as you can so it's there for another day / meal.

sijjy · 14/04/2021 21:22

I understand op. My ds is 15. He eats us out of house and home. Nothing more infuriating that going to fridge for the chocolate trifle you brought for you and him. ( one each ) and he's eaten them both. I also buy cheap chocolate to use melted to make my 9 yr old ds fruit a bit more tempting. He eats that too. Only good hiding place I ever found was the veg drawer. Wink

NotACompleterFinis · 14/04/2021 21:35

They're hungry. Batch cook a load of sausages so you have cold sausages in the fridge at all times. This is what I did with my teenagers. Bread, rice and cereal don't keep them full for long enough.
I imagine the 7 penguins will go in one sitting too 😂

Blueink · 14/04/2021 21:45

Hmm annoying but can’t get too animated about it. Hide the younger child’s cereal, buy less treats/store elsewhere. Up cheaper basics you are running out of, milk etc.

AlwaysLatte · 14/04/2021 21:51

I think it's just part of having teenagers, as long as they're healthy and tidy up afterwards, I'd just go with the flow (and get more supplies).

AlwaysLatte · 14/04/2021 21:53

The waste isn't good though. Maybe limit the junk cereals etc so they are more likely to eat a proper meal (maybe you serve it to them yourself at the table so they don't take more than they can eat?)

Isaidnope · 14/04/2021 21:57

My Mum made us get jobs at 16 despite being at college so I’d just do that tbh, they can buy their own bloody food. They can replace the cereal too, it wasn’t theirs to eat. You need to make a cupboard space for food that’s totally off limits to them and they need to respect that, it’s basically theft if they don’t.

Lolwhat · 14/04/2021 22:02

This is quite normal for teenagers and young adults

Yespresh · 14/04/2021 22:05

All special food should be hidden in the washing machine. They’ll never look there

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2021 22:16

"Children dictating what their parents buy because they can’t get their own way? Wow, the real world will be tough for those kids that allowed to get away that!

Just because OP chooses to buy wine doesn’t mean she has to choose to buy her kids countless treats as well. So long as there is food in the house for them to eat that’s all that matters. Nonetheless - she does buy them treats which they devour. At 17 and 18 they’re old enough to know better."

I never said 'dictating'. I never said OP was obliged to buy them treats, but I do think it's hypocritical if the adult in the family buys herself treats but none for the children and it will only incite the children to become obsessive about getting hold of treats. In any case, OP DOES buy them treats.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2021 22:17

"Employers want work experience."

Totally depends doesn't it. It depends what kind of job they'll go into eventually. They may not be working until 22-23 or older and their 17 year old job in a pub may not be relevant.
It's very American/British to be saying that schoolchildren should have part-time jobs on the side. In most of the developed world, they'd be encouraged to concentrate on their schoolwork.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/04/2021 22:18

@Yespresh

All special food should be hidden in the washing machine. They’ll never look there
Genius!
firepita · 14/04/2021 22:34

@KoshkaKills

At 17 and 18 they should be working and buying their own food.

I wouldn't make mine work at that age. If they are in education then they will be at college for 6 hours a day, plus homework and studying for assignments or exams, so education-related time is roughly the same as a full-time job anyway. They should be enjoying their free-time away fro my study, not working imo.

Which is fine but doesn't mean they can eat everything in sight. Either contribute and eat what you like or be more respectful.

This narrative that parents just need to Buy. More. Food. is revolting. Some people don't have the funds to buy endless vats of food for rude, greedy teenagers who don't seem to give a shit about anyone else in the house.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/04/2021 22:37

"Some people don't have the funds to buy endless vats of food for rude, greedy teenagers who don't seem to give a shit about anyone else in the house."

It doesn't seem to be the case that OP is poor. Correct me if wrong, OP.
Plus, they're skinny so obviously need a lot of food.

jelly79 · 14/04/2021 23:00

Dish up normal dinner portions and fridge / freeze the rest so they can help themselves to extra potions when they want it. To avoid the waste

I'd rather split up the snacks between the 3 of them or tell them to buy their own with a budget but when it's gone it's gone. I get the 100g cereal but probably a daft way of starting to do the boxes as they will get inhaled in seconds. For it to mean anything you will need to be strong now and not replace the cereal and snacks

Roxy69 · 14/04/2021 23:04

Best sit down together and thrash it all through with a budget allocated and no raised voices. It can help them move on as well, we all need to be able to budget. If they help you they can help themselves in the long run.

JillApple · 14/04/2021 23:24

Sounds like a case of Hollow legs syndrome.
Ah Op, you have my sympathies...
Both mine are thin but tall and they are like locusts...Fast forward three years.. One is at university now and last came home at Christmas but complained our portion size was too small.Hmm Well, judging by the size of his overweight parents, that isn't the case...The other still a home based locust...Another two years and we will be blessed by her complaints of small portions too..Your children sound tall, thin, healthy..these days will pass and we can then laugh about those locusts Krave days.SmileSounds to me like you are doing a good job. Star

me109f · 15/04/2021 00:40

My kids are the same. Target junk food and 'treats' all the time. I hate them cooking as they make a terrible mess and don't clean up ever. If I buy biscuits they take the whole packet, and I bought a special cake last week and left it out. It then just disappeared. It was small but expensive and I would liked to have just tried it. No-one owned up to seeing it.
I now dumb down and buy cheaper, less interesting stuff.
I would never have done that as a child, my Mum would have been livid.

purplebagladylovesgin · 15/04/2021 01:28

I went to make a roll for my daughters lunch and all four buns were gone. I'd bought them the night before to make lunch the next day.

My youngest son had been feeling hungry whilst gaming and had eaten the lot late at night.
He did have the decency to look sheepish.

4 rolls as a snack, I was cross!

TinselTinsel · 15/04/2021 01:30

@JensonsAcolyte

I don’t know if I’m being really fucking petty about this but I lost my shit yesterday after they went through a box of cereal in six hours.

Kids are 17 and 18. We also have a 9 year old. I buy nice treat food like a mug every week and the older kids just go through it like it’s going out of fashion. I’ve told them not to, obviously, begged and pleaded and shouted and sworn and nothing sinks in.

I’m at the point of thinking about locking the larder.

So on Sunday I bought a box of (overpriced junk) Krave because youngest DS loves it. He usually has a few pieces mixed in with his weetabix or porridge.

By yesterday morning it was gone. DS had got up at gone midnight and had half a box over two bowls, DD then had two bowls for breakfast, before I got up.

This is an ongoing battle. Also taking huge portions of food and not eating it. Dinner last night, DD took a huge pile and then picked out half of it (the aubergine she didn’t like) and left it on the side of her plate.

There’s a large Tupperware full of home made egg fried rice that one of them made on Saturday night while I was out and didn’t eat. I’ll be binning that in a minute.

They both like to cook but cook stupid things like a batch of thirty cheese straws. Or a huge macaroni cheese for one person. I’m constantly running out of milk, cereal, flour, eggs, pasta.

They are supposed to ask for food, which I hate making them do but have to, but then as soon as I’m out or in a meeting or even just in the fucking shower they are like locusts.

Any ideas? Is this par for the course with young adults? They are both skinny fuckers as well which is actually infuriating Hmm considering all the shit they eat.

This is very outing for anyone that knows me hahaha

My ex was like this, no matter what we had , he would shovel everything into his mouth with no thoughts for the rest of us. Even with household products that I bought in bulk, because we had lots he would use lots! He could use a 500ml bottle of bubble bath over 4 baths ffs!
I used to hide everything in the attic lol! It was like alladins cave up there, chocolate, crisps, toiletries, anything that was a duplicate (monthly shop or great bargains) was hidden. He never went in the attic so never knew and if he pissed me off I would sit in the attic eating chocolate I had bought for him haha.

FortunesFave · 15/04/2021 02:36

@NotACompleterFinis

They're hungry. Batch cook a load of sausages so you have cold sausages in the fridge at all times. This is what I did with my teenagers. Bread, rice and cereal don't keep them full for long enough. I imagine the 7 penguins will go in one sitting too 😂
Sausages are shit food. Mostly laden with additives unless you visit your local artisan butcher....and who does that for greedy teens? I boil a load of eggs and put them in the fridge.